The Door to Deceitful Delights
The door to deceitful delights
she discovered within as she was
plied with that first fizzy fun punch
Pried open wider by a toke of particularly prime pot
Finally flung open with the abandon possessed by
twenty-something Immortals
This same door had dwelt
in her mother and others long passed
Smothering, smoldering smoke and
various places to place opium
by hookah or
by whodahthunkit
Twenty-something was wise
She grew tired of wasting time
Time to grow up
We can’t all be Peter Pan
or Tinkerbell, even
She shoved her full weight against the door
Forced it shut and with it all the shit, shove-stored
She knows she could open it again
on a whim or over a heartbreak
But she willingly tossed the key
into a pool of other bad memories
where she chooses not to swim
knowing she’d only sink like a stone
© Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For dverse Open Mike Night (check out the links!) and my poetic hearth and home, Poets United.
Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:33:21
Love this, Amy. The immortality and wildness of 20-somethings…
Dec 22, 2011 @ 23:46:33
Like me…! It looks so different in retrospect. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:44:11
no, we cannot all be peter pan
poignant pen, Amy. nice work as always.
http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/polaroids-of-delilah/
Dec 23, 2011 @ 03:55:02
Thanks, Kellie – and thanks for leaving the specific link, so I can see what you did with the prompt! Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:49:41
good on her for choosing to break that cycle…its not easy to do but it can be done…very well told…
Dec 25, 2011 @ 03:48:46
That ‘her’ was me, so thanks, Brian. And it can be done, but not alone. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 01:01:46
“knowing she’d only sink like a stone” … Amen. Wise choice, twenty-something.
This piece is incredible. Loved the flow, funky rhythm, and alliteration. Bravo.
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:04:47
Thanks, Rosemary! It’s so true… once I found my way out of the rabbit hole, I understood the parameters of certain mistakes. Thanks also for comments of content and form! Coming over your way now… Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 01:08:35
Stunningly strong writing with beautiful vocabulary to match the strength of the character’s determination to quit now she is awake to the consequences.
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:08:42
I’m telling you, next chapbook, I’m going to solicit reviews from you, Robin, because you “get” it every time and express all so eloquently. Thanks, my friend, and PEACE. Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 02:08:51
Oh those twenty something years. This is a metaphorical master piece…that all too many can relate to.
Peace – Merry Christamas
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:09:30
Ollie, and a Merry Christmas to you… yes, hindsight certainly is 20/20. It’s being in the middle of bad choices that makes you blind! Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 02:09:02
What a wonderful way to think of it and describe it! Thanks, Amy, always!
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:10:30
Bless you, Debbie! Thanks for understanding, as always. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 02:38:37
Best to leave those vices on the other side, Amy. Good idea.
Happy Holidays to you and yours.
Pamela
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:11:09
Igualmente a tu y tuyos, Felicidades! Amelita
Dec 21, 2011 @ 03:26:35
very beautiful and an amazing depth … enjoyed visiting your blog.
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:14:08
So glad you could stop by, Baishali. I shall pay you a visit now! Thanks for your comments. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 03:40:47
Some lovely alliteration to be had in here, and an ending that packs a punch. Quite nice.
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:15:30
Thanks, Joseph. This truly fell together like a shuffled deck of cards, which is the loveliest feeling. Of course, it helps when one writes free verse instead of the complicated forms you tackle!! Merry Christmas, my friend, and peace always, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 03:41:16
I’am a well bad poetess. but your expression, I can feel. though I was never there.
Dec 25, 2011 @ 04:22:29
Thanks, Leah, that’s actually a wonderful compliment, feeling it without experiencing it. Off to see what you DO write, now, and I’ll bet it’s fine! Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 03:55:30
Great close, really liked the sinking like a stone. Avoid the temptation and stay above water.
Dec 30, 2011 @ 05:25:40
Amen, brother! Thanks, and peace. Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 05:37:44
Thanx for my review, and now I discover you…..
Love dteh word play, fun with a hint of reality to them, a touch of bite , just th away I like em
Dec 22, 2011 @ 05:02:37
Adrian, welcome to my world! So glad you liked the poem I offered. And what a deliciously naughty comment, yay! Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 10:43:48
It’s a case of Know Thyself. I like this poem, which expresses a strong character’s
resistance and resiliance to temptation. Comes across very well as a strong lesson to those of a weaker ilk.
Dec 22, 2011 @ 05:04:00
The weaker ilk is, in reality, me in my 20s. I was a mess but fortunately lived to tell the tale. Thank God I was scared of needles, the only thing I didn’t try…
And you’re right. Ultimately, even at my worst, there were some things I would not do. Thanks, Leigh. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 11:24:03
I can relate, from both sides of the spectrum
Dec 22, 2011 @ 05:07:54
Yeah, we’re kind of kindred spirits on that score. This really looks back at my 20s. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 11:28:32
Sadly those memories have a habit of floating to the surface again, 10 or 20 years later… though I like the idea of abandon .. *smiles* A clever write
Dec 22, 2011 @ 05:18:38
Thanks so much, Louise! I admit, this is me in my 20s, in case you had not guessed. Now that I look back, at the age of 55, I can’t believe I’m still here. I’ll pop over and visit you now! Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 16:53:25
The image of the closet door, things ‘shove-stored’ really perfect here. Well said.
Dec 30, 2011 @ 18:07:25
Thank you so much, HW. Do you have a blog I can visit? Please add your blog location next time! Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 18:17:06
I love this one, Amy, especially the closing stanza. Awesome.
Dec 30, 2011 @ 18:11:33
There is much to be learned from hindsight. Unfortunately, so much of my past is a bit blurry!! Thanks, Sherry… love, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 19:39:49
Amy, I love the gathering wisdom of the movement in this poem. Knowing she’d only sink like a stone – would that we could all throw the door shut with as much energy and throw away the key! Thanks.
Dec 30, 2011 @ 18:24:26
Andrew, this was me. I’m not claiming existential wisdom… it was more like Grandma Blanche, my guardian angel, whispering in my ear, “Enough, or you’ll turn out like your mom and become a hopeless addict.” I think watching my mother get sober at the age of 60 (!) was another influence. Talk about courage. Thanks so much, Andrew. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 20:21:54
This is a very strong piece reflecting problematic reality. You kept it sharp, concise and focused and managed to convey much in few words. I admire the way you did this and I’m glad I stopped by the blog.
Dec 30, 2011 @ 18:25:27
Steve, so glad you stopped by, too. I very much appreciate your words of praise – am flattered, to say the least. Will come see what you’re up to now! Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 20:45:38
Twenty-somethings always think they are wise. It often isn’t until much later that they figure out what they hadn’t known when they thought they knew everything.
Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:15:45
You are so right, Mary! Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 22:05:48
great wordplay, sharp descriptions, i really enjoyed reading this. and i’d like to say i have no such closet shove-stored with twenty-something decadence, but i do, and i’m kinda glad it’s there. very well written.
Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:17:22
Woodrow, thanks for visiting. I am also glad I have those experience in my box of tricks, because I can take them out when needed for lessons learned. One is also more able to identify with someone caught in the maelstrom and perhaps offer them support. Peace, Amy
Dec 21, 2011 @ 23:36:28
Amy, slamming that door shut and knowing what will happen if she opens it again. Perfect description of that battle over addiction, I suspect.
Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:18:31
So right you are, Victoria, and it’s all from personal experience…! About 30 years ago, thank God… and yet, the door could fling wide open if I am not vigilant with self-care and therapy. Peace, Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 00:17:51
For one I love… I yearn for the day the shit is shoved, the door is closed and the key is tossed, forever lost.
This is a great bit of story-telling, Amy!
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/12/21/to-let-go/
Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:25:23
Kim, I understand your feelings. Am there with a few folks as well. The trick is to STAY on that right, mindful path. Quitting is only the first step. Any addiction not fully examined and discussed with a group and maybe professional help is not worth cleaning up in the first place… Thanks, Kim! Peace, Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 00:55:15
Sometimes even the thought of going back in time isn’t an option. Great post, Amy!
Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:29:03
Renee, going back in time, maybe not… but repeating the same mistakes, always there unless you really stick with the self-care. Which I do! Thanks so much for your comment – peace, Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 08:28:20
I reckon that we’ve all been there and done that. Perhaps it’s more important to accept that we found another path eventually, and that everything we experience is the summation of who we are now.
Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:34:23
Amen, sister. I would not trade the experience for anything… gives me plenty of insights, and not just about myself (I hate navel-gazing!). Been there, done that… but don’t wanna do it again, right? Peace, Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 13:12:42
Good one! I love all the alliteration and word play, and love that strong, smart young woman!
Jan 01, 2012 @ 00:27:36
Thanks, Mary… it’s based on my youth, so I’m flattered. Hardest thing in the world, cleaning up, but I set a good example for my daughter by being sober years before her birth… and telling her honestly about all the trouble I got into, without glamorizing it in the slightest. She’s straight-arrow except for the occasional beer, and good for her! Peace, Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 15:31:16
nice litany on addictions
…i was just reading that Hookah smoking is not safer than cigarette smoking. </a.
Jan 02, 2012 @ 05:08:57
All smoking is bad for your lungs, it’s true. Has to do with mouth-breathing, partly… instead of breathing through your nose, where the air is naturally filtered and moisturized through your nasal cavities before entering the lungs, smoking is straight from mouth to lungs…
But I still make a darned good omelette, if you get my “drift”! Thanks for your comments, Zongrik! Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 16:08:37
great write – denial is a powerful tool.
Jan 02, 2012 @ 05:15:30
Amen, sister. Denial worked for years, for me at least, until the walls caved in. Thanks, Sheila! Peace, Amy
Dec 22, 2011 @ 20:59:50
There is so much strength in this poem. Truth is stranger than fiction and the power of this piece seems to come from personal experience and what better educator is that?
I thought I had commented on one of your earlier pieces but who knows from whence it came or whither it goes. Perhaps some perplexed blogger is scratching their head at the nonsense they have received.
A respectful and seasonal hug from me.
Jan 02, 2012 @ 05:28:26
Robin, I am actually dreadfully behind on answering posts. I believe I am caught up to here, anyway… but we are moving, so “production” is off schedule. Also, my editing job on that book came out in print, much rejoicing, and the Rev. and I had Advent and Christmas to tend to.
About the poem – as usually is the case, it’s autobiographical. I taught my daughter all about the dangers, the “doors,” and she generally stops at the occasional beer because she understands her addictive bloodline. So experience was my teacher, and I hope I helped Riley avoid that by teaching her in advance…
Peace to you, my friend. Amy
Dec 23, 2011 @ 03:34:18
Amy,
As expected the 20 something with head strong tendencies. They would bull doze through and throw the keys away. Very apt description!
Hank
Jan 02, 2012 @ 06:31:49
Yeah, especially when it’s me, looking at all the current 20s doing the same thing. Only their toys are much more dangerous, and I talk all the time with Riley about this. I didn’t have to worry about date rape drugs or Ecstasy, let alone “pharming parties…” I pray for our kids… peace, Amy
Dec 28, 2011 @ 23:54:41
poignant and nostalgic – swimming through descriptions – this was a really great write, and you had me captured from start to finish! particularly liked the closing stanza “But she willingly tossed the key
into a pool of other bad memories
where she chooses not to swim
knowing she’d only sink like a stone” – nice work!
Jan 03, 2012 @ 21:17:22
Dear OT, thanks so much for stopping by and for commenting. I’m flattered you liked the poem this much. Now to travel over to see what you are up to! Peace, Amy
Jan 24, 2012 @ 07:22:08
Hey other mother! I hope the move is going well.
The alliteration peppered throughout and your upbeat-feeling rhythm is a wicked contrast to the subject matter. It’s a tough balancing act- you nailed it!
That last stanza is going to stick with me for sure.
Feb 08, 2012 @ 05:13:31
Thanks, my little Bee. Knew you would like this one, despite the challenges… love you! Amy