FUNNY BUSINESS
Your hair has such flair
A bounce in your step and
a plop in your pratfalls
When you’re happy, we
all know it, it’s all over
your face
same as when you’re sad
Your car is so cool and
seats thirteen if some of them
hang out the windows
And your makeup?
To die for. Drag queens everywhere
could take some tips from
your brow technique
High brow, low brow
Take a bow, o clever clown
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, Mary wanted a Valentine to someone or something we cannot stand. I don’t mind telling you, it’s not just a vague dislike… clowns scare the crap out of me, always have. I once wrote a horror poem about them. Grown men in grotesque makeup, falling on their butts and getting WAY too close to little kids for my comfort… The balloon animals that always managed to explode near me… Bozo? Yikes! Amy
Feb 09, 2013 @ 23:15:56
Ahahaha – this struck my funny bone hard … I’m not clown-a-phobic but do know lots of folks who are and lots of little kids who don’t seem too fond of them actually. I took a clown class once so I think that’s why I don’t have any particular aversion; have carried a sponge-red nose ever since that for road rage incidents actually,and other awkward moments – amazing how such a simple thing can lighten the situation … might consider becoming a clown some day if I think I can stay “up” long enough – (but promise not to sneak up on you…) Great poem Ames – made me laugh right out loud.
Feb 28, 2013 @ 00:27:03
hahaha..thats great a red nose for road rage….good thinkin
Feb 09, 2013 @ 23:18:04
I never understood why so many people hate clowns.
But any clown would be honored to get this valentine!
Feb 09, 2013 @ 23:42:58
I am surprised to discover how many adults have a strong dislike or fear of clowns. My experience with them is different, but it is easy to see why they could be construed as scary and certainly could have a more sinister side. This was a great Valentine, very clever commentary on clowns!
Feb 28, 2013 @ 00:29:28
Maybe it was the John Wayne Gacy thing.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 01:44:06
I don’t see the sinister, just don’t find rehearsed slapstick particularly funny.Your poem is surprisingly kind given your dislike. That prompt.was contrary, yet you succeeded.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 02:09:19
I loved this Amy… would never know you dreaded clowns… I was a clown for 15 years and mimist…I never believed I could scare anyone. In fact I was a clown because people let down their walls and let me in… When I was just me … there seemed to be more walls.
Now … in Christ… gentleness makes its way in to closed hearts
Still, I miss the face paint … and my silliness
I enjoyed your post very much!
Feb 10, 2013 @ 03:08:08
You and my youngest share a hatred of clowns…love how you worked all the clown facts into the piece….I especially like the drag queen comment.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 04:27:01
As a youngster I too hated clowns at a circus. Even then I thought their performances poor. Later I thought they were this way so that later acts would look very good indeed. But I still remember the fear that they would get too close to me.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 06:38:23
I, who have clowned to the horror of many of my family’s own babies, find this poem quite flattering, and quite in the spirit! Ha ha!
Feb 10, 2013 @ 08:29:25
This is brilliant! It really had me laughing!
Feb 10, 2013 @ 10:27:51
ha. you realize back in the day i was a clown…smiles..haha. this was funny though…i dont think you are all in the dislike category…there was too much compassion as well in your words…smiles.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 14:19:41
This is humorous, but made me think- how confused children must be at what we present to them for “entertainment” – tormented lions trained to perform to the lash of the whip – elephants taken off the savannas to teeter on small platforms…….sad eyed bears driving motorcycles……….and fairy tales full of death and ogres……..sigh. The fodder of children’s nightmares.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 14:42:04
Apropos to nothing, the wife and I are seeing the musical Priscilla on Valentine’s Day. It is based on the movie Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 19:39:13
Amy, both my girls were / are scared of clowns! Thanks for this look at them!
Feb 11, 2013 @ 07:21:12
Amy, kudos that you could be kind-they scare the crap out of me too! There is this leering creepy vibe…sorry to all the clowns out there, but that’s what my inner voice says. Enjoyed your poem though
Feb 11, 2013 @ 07:32:25
Clowns are supposed to be funny, but some ended up being laughed at! Slapsticks are meant for kids but they frighten off kids or rather kids are afraid of them! Nicely Amy!
Hank
Feb 18, 2013 @ 22:14:15
Always hated and feared clowns. Great poem.
Feb 20, 2013 @ 08:06:25
Great poem, loving the beat
Cyber-five!- I’m no fan of clowns either 
Feb 28, 2013 @ 00:28:26
I also am afeared of clowns especially after IT and Killer Clowns from Outer Space (campy, I know). Thanks for acknowledging the clownaphobe in us all.