If You Don’t Like the “V” Word, Don’t Read This.


If you don’t “mind” the “V” word, read on. But remember, I warned you. Also, to anyone who objects, please remember: COPYING, XEROXING, AND DISTRIBUTING MY WORK IS A COPYRIGHT VIOLATION. YOU MAY GO TO JAIL. (I have had mean “stalkers” lately.)

OK, the snarky scolding is out of the way. Fasten your seatbelts!

Me & V
BFF 001
I am a woman.

Each morning I
sit on my vagina and drink coffee.

Every day is
Take Your Vagina To Work Day.

“Betty” watches
while I pee and used to
participate in my monthlies.

She knows my husband. Well.

Me and my vagina have been
through thick and…
not-so-thick.

I’ve taken care of her for years.
In return, she opened wide and
helped deliver my baby girl.

Me and my vagina: BFFs.

So, Congress, don’t tread on us.
Together, we are a formidable foe.

Just ask my ex.

© 2014 Poetry and Artwork by Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

First, a disclaimer: Betty is not really my BFF. My friend John in Philadelphia is. Somehow, I know that this particular order in the greater scheme of things will bring him comfort… and a laugh.

When ABC Wednesday asked for poems about the letter V… well, ’nuff said!! Peace and reproductive rights for all, unless you want to outlaw Viagra and submit tests on fathers before termination of pregnancies, Amy

17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kaykuala
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 04:05:54

    No holds barred. You said it like it is, direct, brave and succinctly beautiful! And how you really love it! That’s Amelita as you’ve always been. Great write Ma;am!

    Hank

    Reply

  2. Roger Green
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 04:51:21

    Of course, it’s your V word. I am NOT shocked. Always thought the Vagina Monologues served a great social function, for men as well as women. Obviously, not enough for men…

    Reply

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 05:53:28

    Exactly… I bet I’ve heard guys said similar things about their appendix (the P-word you know), and that one cannot even deliver a baby— I think Freud was wrong….

    Reply

  4. brian miller
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 07:49:34

    ha. smiles….nice political message there in the end….they know no bounds though it seems….we must legislate everything….fun play with personalizing it and a serious message…and its good you can be friends….smiles

    Reply

  5. Sara v
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 07:54:05

    Amy–love you so much! You make me smile even when I’m gnashing my teeth over the folks that put the crazy in Congress. Happy “V” day ;-)

    Reply

  6. El Guapo
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 09:00:32

    Hope you and your vagina give gov’t the thumping they so richly deserve.

    Reply

  7. Buddah Moskowitz
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 09:54:38

    Serious good and serious fun. You rock, AMeleh!

    Reply

  8. Kim Nelson
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 10:00:11

    Best genitalia poem I think I’ve ever read! You Rock, Amy!

    Reply

  9. coalblack
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 19:01:34

    *snicker* You tell ‘em.

    Reply

  10. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
    Jun 11, 2014 @ 15:47:30

    I’m not sure you mean it to, Amy, but your poem made me roar with laughter. Please what is BFF?

    Reply

  11. Lady Muck (@UTLAU)
    Jun 12, 2014 @ 02:00:02

    This is a Very good V post! I love this poem :)

    Reply

  12. sarahleelopez4377
    Jun 12, 2014 @ 16:53:22

    Haha entertaining, snarky and a bite just like I like my posts, well done!

    Reply

  13. PSC
    Jun 13, 2014 @ 08:16:54

    LOL Always love your honest, straightforward perspective — with or without the snark! Do you send these off to congress? (You ought to.) :-)

    Reply

  14. Sharp Little Pencil
    Jun 17, 2014 @ 16:56:11

    LOVE YOU ALL MADLY. VISITED WHEN AND WHERE I COULD!!! Amy

    Reply

  15. mybeautfulthings
    Jun 24, 2014 @ 10:26:19

    I LOVE this V poem, it made me laugh and made me think, very clever indeed :)

    Reply

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