Mama’s Gone (NaPoWriMo 11)

Charlotte business pic edited

Mama’s Gone

Still can’t believe
the ‘heart on my sleeve’
gone on heaven’s highway

Mom’s grief now has passed
Since she breathed her last
She’s taken the skyway

Let’s raise glasses now
to the one who knew how
to smile in earthly hell

Tell stories, we will
as bar counts its till
of Charlotte, pre-death knell

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

For Three Word Wednesday, which gave us Grief, Bask, and Raise. Sounds like an Irish wake to me! Also for ABC Wednesday, brought to you by the letter “M.” I don’t know whether this poem is a form, but it makes some sort of sense!

My mom could tell stories ‘til the cows not only came home, but went back out to pasture. I think she was a undiagnosed manic depressive like me and like her mom, Blanche, and she had that gift of gab. When she was drinking, she was either hilarious or hideously depressing; either way, I heard every story she could spare and committed it to memory and soon to memoir. Momoir?

Her death should have been scored by Puccini – agonizing, the slowest two weeks the world has ever seen, full of drama and angst. Twenty years later, I can still remember having to shoo close friends away from her bedside (“Don’t let them gawk at me, promise, Amer”) and take her home (“Promise me, no nursing homes”) to die in her own bed, another promise. She had not had a drink in 10 years, and after that last breath, I left sister’s side, clutched Charlotte’s hand, and sent her up with, “Mama, you died sober!”

Amen. Amy

Face Down in it When I Die (Real Toads prompt)

Face Down in it When I Die

It’s my last wish
that I shall leave this world
drowning in chocolate cake

The dense layers slashed by
thick, sweet frosting and
dusted with Mexican cocoa

But for now, seeing as
I’m pretty much alive
and kicking, I’ll settle

for a plate, a fork, and
a cup of espresso,
swirling mocha on my tongue

The nearest thing to good sex
is rich, sensual, forbidden…
and sitting in front of me

Excuse me while I
indulge in the bliss of
this final piece of pleasure

© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Image from Dessert Devil
For the delightfully named Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, courtesy of Ella, whose blog appears HERE. She challenged us to write about food porn.  Also hanging about in the kitchens of Poets United. Peace, and whatever food porn floats YOUR boat, Amy

Was a Time When…

Was a Time When…

Was a time when
nothing was shelved for another day

When, lacking A.C., our windows allowed
the cacophony of Manhattan traffic
to ferment with our Streisand on the stereo
into an ethereal, essentially New York brew

When heartaches were daily doings and
lovers’ promises abstract

When Chinatown was
a neon-spangled dragon,
delicious, exhilarating, smelling of
sesame oil and sweet rice wine

When we’d shimmy on the sidewalk
to every lowrider blasting reggae

Now those days in the City
are an exquisite origami swan
swinging from the ceiling on a ribbon,
suspended over my head
over my half-closed eyes
from the drop ceiling
over my hospital bed

as my life reaches the coda of
its jazzy, dizzying blur

Slowly, veil upon veil of blissful,
mystic, magic memories featherfall
upon my last moments…

but not a single regret

© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For the Sunday Whirl: Exquisite, abstract, spangling, ethereal, ferment, dragon, shimmy, origami, cacophony, coda, aches, shelved. FYI, it’s The Sunday Whirl’s first anniversary this week, so click on the link and check out what others have done with Brenda’s weekly “dirty dozen” words. The variety of thoughts, of what springs to mind and splashes on the page of each poet or writer, is quite amazing. Brenda Warren, BRAVA and thanks!

Also at my poetic nest, Poets United! Peace, Amy

Morey’s Wake (Trifecta)

Morey’s Wake

“What a schmuck,” murmured Gordo, swigging from a bottle of Coors. “Still owed me twenty bucks. Now I’ll never see it.”

“Hey, Morey was a nice guy,” countered Amber. “He gave me my Tilda, and she’s great.”

Sasha sniffed. “Didn’t give you a weddin’ ring, though. Shitty deal, you ask me.”

Morey lay stiff and starched in the coffin. The mortician had dolled him up special. Amber wanted the bruises and cuts hidden and four missing front teeth replaced. Morey looked like a million, and Mr. Burry wasn’t making out too bad, either.

Morey was laid out at Sharkey’s Bar. The owner couldn’t refuse. After all, Morey was his muscle at the door for twenty years. Mr. Bury fussed that a bar was hardly a place for a mortician of his stature, but an extra five bills took care of any objections.

By noon, everyone was drunk, and Morey? At least you couldn’t smell him, what with the beer and perfume and Mr. Bury’s scented flower arrangements. Not much high-brow drinking, mostly beer, but they tipped Louie extra. Dino got all homesick for Crete and started in on the ouzo too soon… he fell flat off the barstool. People stepped over him discreetly.

“You know, Amber,” said Louie from behind the bar, “I’m gonna miss that bastard. He shouldn’t oughta got mixed up with that fix at the Downs. Backfired, and now here he is, all dead and shit. Sorry.”

Amber downed a quick lime-tequila-salt slammer and said, “He was in the right place at the right time with the wrong luck and no gun. I told him, ‘Morey, take some protection,’ but then again,” another shot of tequila and a grimace, “I told him to use protection with me, and that’s how I got Tilda.”

Morton “Morey” Kelley, aged 52, eulogized by a chorus of semi-friends and a couple of enemies who sang along with Credence on the jukebox and slipped Amber cash. And the occasional tongue.

© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Trifecta: Third definition of “Observe”: To celebrate or solemnize (as a ceremony or festival) in a customary or accepted way. This is as customary as it gets in my family! As for “Mr. Bury,” there actually is a funeral home in Buffalo named “Bury Funeral Home.” And Sharkey’s is in my hometown, Binghamton, best spiedies going and the whole place smells like old beer and marinated pork.

Smart Online Purchase

Smart Online Purchase

Old sir, I’ll tie your shoes for you
Sit here; it’s best for me to do

And see, there’s breakfast on the stove;
hot tea, your favorite, hint of clove

When your dear wife passed suddenly
they programmed and delivered me

I cook, I clean, I’m good with tools
Our factory doesn’t turn out fools

And if you need, well, something more
I’ve placed some porn mags in your drawer

Your butler, friend, and poker shark
(You bought that program on a lark)

When CryTon manufactured me
they thought of your needs, A to Z

Embedding chips, all to your taste:
Gin rummy, shopping, how to baste

a perfect bird, just like your wife
And sympathy for her lost life

An early model at the wheel
when Mrs. crossed at Main at Keel

They’ve fixed us now, we’re better drivers
And waterproof, superb pearl divers

So what’s your wish? I’ll gladly fill it
That fly? Of course, I’ll gladly kill it

Life. That concept eludes me
I’ll live for all eternity

You said that you will, too, someplace
beyond the walls of time and space

Your fear not death, but don’t want pain
I promise, suffering will not reign

A lovely day, let’s troll the park
I’ll keep you out ‘til after dark

And it would be so tragic if
we wandered too close to a cliff

You’ll fly and fall, angels will sing
Don’t fret – I’ve thought of everything

A rash of deaths this chosen day
For Wii have our own games to play

The funerals, already planned
From church to grave, it’s all in hand

Then I’ll move in two friends – or four
‘Cause we don’t need you anymore

© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Trifecta, even though I didn’t make the deadline. A poem about the brain (3rd definition in dictionary: something that acts like a brain, ex. a computer). Also posted, of course, at Poets United!

Billie Holiday

Billie Holiday

Her story, stuff of legend
Hard to believe a girl
who scrubbed the whorehouse steps
was a child of destiny

Louis and Bessie’s songs, a balm
wafting through the brothel windows
(masking commercial commotion upstairs)
That jazz summoned magic buried in her very marrow

At seventeen, at dusk, she entered a club
The audience, the first witnesses
to a staggering talent, unbroken by
the sorrows of her childhood

Finding her soulmate in sax man Lester Young
Coursing through their veins and blended history,
their addictions: Jazz and heroin
First gave life; second led to early death

Too young, a deathbed. Money taped to her thigh?
A filthy lie, as befits urban legend
The collective force of Lady Day and Pres?
The real deal – raw truth pressed on vinyl

© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

For The Sunday Whirl: Destiny, Dusk, Mate, Marrow, Staggering, Buried, Songs, Blood, Addiction, Story, Sorrows, Broken. These words began singing choruses of “Lover Man” to me before I knew what I was going to do with them.  Also posted at the Poets United Poetry Pantry.

Image courtesy of www.jacklawrencesongwriter.com, in his photo files. Thanks, Jack!

Although the rumor of money taped to her thigh was false, police did arrest her on her deathbed for possession. Lester “Pres” Young, who nicknamed Billie “Lady Day,” was in fact nicknamed by Billie as the President of Sax Players. Wish I could have included the video on YouTube of her TV session in her later years on “Fine and Mellow,” but the cut was too long. Look it up; you’ll spot Gerry Mulligan, Coleman Hawkins, Pres on the second sax solo, Mal Waldron on piano, and more.  When Pres Young died of self-abuse (alcohol and heroin), Billie was not allowed by Young’s wife to sing at the funeral.  Billie said bitterly, “I’ll be next,” and she was, four months later.

Hell-Bent Trail (Trifecta, Whirl)

Hell-Bent Trail

“I’m in a hurry,
don’t worry.

“I’ve had a libation (or five),
but I can handle the drive.”

Behind the wheel, no trrrrrouble
Rolled a fattie, toked it double

Charged straight through the toll
Confused, but on a roll

Doing 70, gazing at stars,
his eyes settled on Mars.

Meanwhile, a mom needed grahams for s’mores
Asked her Mindy to walk to the store.

The hit-and-run, no surprise…
Chased and charged with her demise.

She was two months short of twenty,
future that was filled with plenty.

That girl was all spit and spunk…
sacrificed to a hell-bent drunk.

© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Trifecta (“trail”) and The Sunday Whirl: Accident, Toll, Libation, Handle, Trouble, Mars, Ask, Charged, Settle, Confused, Sacrificed, Plenty. Also at Poets United.
THINK BEFORE YOU TURN THAT IGNITION KEY. ACCEPT THE RIDE HOME, Y’ALL. And yes, buzzed driving IS impaired driving. Peace, Amy

Point of View (3WW)

Three Word Wednesday offered us Grip, Pain, and Thread. Here is what those words gave to me.

This poem also appears on the right sidebar at Poets United.  Peace, and healing for those who need it, Amy

 

Point of View

She would prefer the window view,
but no complaints, she’ll make do.

She’s made it this far on the course,
as her grip on life slips bad to worse.

Cancer coarses through each vein;
poisonous threads are weaving pain.

When Hell’s spider is finally finished,
her spirit won’t be diminished.

She’ll rise from her hospice bed
and find a heavenly view instead.

© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

The Pine Box (and news from Amy)

FIRST – a word from Amy. I am not ignoring your comments. My husband, Lex, was just installed (big ceremonial goings-on at our new church home, Lake Edge United Church of Christ in Madison, WI. His mom was able to be here; his friend Rev. Michael Ware (of Webster Baptist Church in Webster, NY) delivered a sermon than included “Amens” and even singing (the man is a force of nature and of the Spirit); and the pastor who introduced us and eventually married us, Rev. Cliff Aerie, who now does sacred jazz (www.oikos.com), brought his sax and joined me and the praise band for music. It rocked, and this new church home has welcomed us with open arms. It’s like family. So I promise to get “back on the job” today or tomorrow, answer all your comments, and post daily once again.

Having said that, the prompt was “Surrender,” and this one is sort of not what you would expect to some from a joyful weekend, but that’s how it goes! Peace to all, and thanks for your patience, Amy

THE PINE BOX

First
it’s being left behind
No matter how long the letting go
a piercing pain of loss permeates
every point of human contact
The look in their eyes
Phone calls from relatives you wrote off long ago and
acquaintances from bridge and board meetings
They’re all so sorry (they never really knew him)
They remember him (vaguely, but you never had us over to dinner)

Then
The Viewing
A blur of
I’m sorry call me are you OK (duh) call me
he was such a good man what a loss to the family
the community
the world
call me

Finally
The Funeral
Same readings as your parents’ services
Same minister, even (wow, he’s getting old)
At the words, “In my Father’s house there are many rooms”
you break down, everybody cries, all fall down
Whoever wrote that part of the Bible
really understood torch songs

The minister drones on about our beloved
He didn’t really know my husband
This is more my church than it ever was his

If funerals are for the living
they should skip the eulogy

Soon The Box will be planted
but our love will continue to grow
through tears and healing and memories and stories we tell
He was just that good

© 2010 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Sunday Scribblings (Surrender) and my poetic home, Poets United

No Limit To Tears

No Limit To Tears

Powerful, the cry of anguish.
Happens at the end of your rope.
That heaving, full-moon cry,
the howl of a wounded animal.

After Death has taken another,
the scythe merciless and swift…
or sometimes wielding a precise,
torturous scalpel.

When Death strangled Mom, my tears
fell faster than ducts could release them;
my head filled with salt water,
clogging my brain, my mind.

Tears poured forth in a torrent,
flooding the room.
I floated in that pool for hours until,
gut-sore, I was washed back to my room.

© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

For We Write Poems (Take it to the Limit), and Poets United.

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