Memo To Shrinking Churches
Hear the cries of today’s church:
“Where are the people?”
“We have a choir, we sing the hymns.”
“We have casserole suppers and Bingo.”
“We founded this church. They should come.”
“Your skirt is too short, young lady.”
Hear the whispers in the pews:
“Why is that gay flag still out in front like an ad?”
“Don’t talk to (so-and-so). You’ll get in trouble.”
“Because we’ve ALWAYS done it that way.”
“Is that a He or a She?” (muffled laughter)
“He smells bad. Is he homeless? Move over here.”
…and my personal favorite:
“Where did all these (insert minority) people come from?
We certainly didn’t invite them to worship here.”
The Greatest Generation has a problem adapting.
Yes, change is HARD. But so is sticking…
…to your ground
…to outmoded ideals
…in the mud
If you’re reading this, you are, at this moment:
on a computer
connected to the Internet
through a cable TV provider.
You may even print off copies to pass out
among “your people” in church on Sunday.
Just a reminder,
computers and printers
cable TV
and the Internet
were NOT around when “Father Knew Best,”
So are you really doing things “the way we always have?”
Or are you only comfortable updating
your acceptance and needs
when it’s conveeeeeenient?
With love from The Church Lady
Just a reminder to Christians who have forgotten we follow a man who was homeless by choice and preached unconditional love. This post may not seem loving, but I do mean it as a loving wake-up call to those who thing stale-bread-cube worship, within four walls of a church on Sundays, is the only way to follow Christ. Worship is great; I get a lot from it, but I grow weary of “cafeteria Christians.” You can’t grow a church until you expand your hearts to include everyone – and quit bitching about change.
For Imaginary Garden With Real Toads’ Open Link Monday and dverse Open Mic Night. ALSO, Roger Green is adding this link to ABC Wednesday, where the letter is J – for Jesus. Thanks for watching my back, Roger! Peace, Amy
Sharp Little Pencil 
AR Neal
Preach it, sister!
margaret
“Cafeteria worshipers” of any ilk are the cause of so much hatred… just take a look at the middle east! I am thinking of the song “Everyone’s a little bit racist” from Avenue Q right now. I think any good priest, pastor, minister, leader of an organized religion or not would say LOVE is action – we must BE Christ in this world. Of course, to Catholics, the “bread” is so much more than it is for Protestants – so I am not going to agree with “stale bread cube worship” as that is not what it is (I could say that comment was a bit on the nasty side 🙂 but I don’t think you meant it that way. And Keep holy the Sabbath is a 10 Commandment for those who follow these set of rules. For those who don’t, yes, they have other, very important ways in which they worship.
It must be hard to hear such things said at church… I have never heard such gossip at church… but then, I don’t socialize much on Sundays. I like to arrive early, meditate, and I always stay ’till the end of the choir – so many leave half way through. So, often, I don’t really talk to anyone. (unless it is donut Sunday! Then everyone stays … ha!)
Loved your “quit your bitching as I just heard you gossiping” poem! 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Margaret, thanks for a thoughtful reply. Of course, the “bread cubes” are not about the bread or the symbolism vs. transubstantiation in the Catholic Church. It’s about the behavior of the “frozen chosen,” both inside and outside of church. Regular churchgoers can sometimes be the meanest of all.
margaret
Yes, those that feel “righteous” often are actually their own worst nightmare – just never realize it. — they are the “frozen chosen” trapped! (we need to pray for them… hardest thing to do, isn’t it? 🙂
http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
Your poem reminds me of my poorer days when I moved to the city, and the first Sunday, I cycled to the local church. As I padlocked my bike to a downpipe by the porch, a bouncer in the porch said to me: what do you want? I’ve come to Matins, I replied. Oh! said the bouncer, reluctantly moving aside to let this strange trousered un-hatted creature in. I never went to that church again.
Sharp Little Pencil
Ha! The United Church of Christ actually ran a commercial with real bouncers and a velvet rope, turning away gay couples, single mothers, the homeless… then cut to the UCC, where the phrase “All Are Welcome” doesn’t have an asterisk! I’m so sorry you had that experience, Viv. Amy
vandana
🙂 a beautiful poem to tell us all about god
Sini Rachel
I couldn’t agree with you more. I feel more judged in my church than any where else. What do I wear and what do I say/do ? It keeps looming above my head like a sword. I don’t feel free to worship with all my soul and spirit. I don’t feel free to share my own wars with the world. There are a thousand things I want to say and do in the Sunday School or even in the Bible study groups but something holds me back.
Sharp Little Pencil
Mybe it’s time for church-shopping, including denomination?
photowannabe
I was going to say the same thing. Why stay where one is judged.
Church should be where one’s soul is fed and fellowship is savored.
Sharp Little Pencil
I had to get that one out of my system!! Frustrating that churches want to grow and yet… Thanks for stopping by, coming to your blog now.
McGuffy Ann
I know what you mean, Amy. It is hard when people judge, especially those who know better. But we have to be careful not to judge them. They will be judged by The One who has that right, and they will answer for their indiscretions and insensitivity. Rise above. Sometimes those who are difficult are the ones most in need of us.
Sharp Little Pencil
I get where you’re coming from, McG. I was just ranting because of my continued frustration with my sister and others who strut around telling everyone else they are going to hell… that, and the anemia that is endemic in the mainstream church, is the reason churches are not thriving. They should be, in this time of uncertainly. I’m joining NALT, a group that says “We’re Not All The Way.”
Mary
Really doesn’t sound like my church in the least…or the people in attendance.
brian miller
oh i could write volumes…smiles….just came from an elders meeting too so you are getting it undistilled..ha…i am part of a launch of a ‘new’ church…really focused on intimacy/community, the disciplines and personal responsibility…our churches have become in so many ways disconnected and stuck in the way they have always done things…some of it is remembering how the church was a group that gave to each other and knew one another…not just the veneer you wear on sunday…
Sharp Little Pencil
Brian, you are one of a growing number of our generation who are teaching our churches to think outside “the box” (the four walls). With websites and a host of other vibrant outreach tools, churches can seem more relevant – but only as relevant as the people who really carry out the mission of Christ, in their neighborhoods and beyond. Good for you, babe. Amy
Tony Maude
I could say, “Don’t get me started …” coz I’ve been there, seen that, have the scars. But …
there is so much that is good about church when it works well. When you consider the standard we are supposed to be aspiring to, it is inevitable that we fail individually, corporately, institutionally. The important thing for us to do is to own our failures, pick ourselves up and try again.
Sharp Little Pencil
Ah, yes, but looking in the mirror and seeing the flaws on oneself… that’s something many folks aren’t willing to do! Thanks for commenting, Tony! Sorry I’m such a cynic… Amy
El Guapo
Nailed it.
I’ve never understood the disconnect in many of the devout between the words and the spirit of holy books…
(And no, I’m not particularly religious.)
Timoteo
My church has trees, and rivers, and mountains, and the wind caressing your face…and a sky so blue that your jaw will drop and the only thing you can think of to say is: “GOD”
Sara v
Amy, I am singing a great big Hallelujah!!! in your choir. This piece literally gave me goose bumps because it is so, so true, and says what I want to say. Open minds, open arms, open hearts, that’s the way, end of story. Love you! ❤
I HAVE A VOICE
those aren’t the majority ~ Your viewpoint is explicitly well captured. But, to me, needs a bit more balance too. Faithfully Debbie
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
I think you touch the essence of what should be religion – compassion … still churches and mosques are obsessed in the small thing and rules… when they lost the most important… (there is a reason I avoid churches)
shanyns
AMEN! Thanks for sharing this. Will be sharing it – widely! Bless you!
Lisa A. Williams Poetry
You said what I think many feel as far the churches. There are many who preach what they don’t practice. After being involved in one religion when I was a teenager (which I now consider a cult) I have stayed clear of organized religion. I feel God in nature, I don’t need a building. Wonderful write!
Grace
Yes, of course, can’t stand those hypocrites and seemingly holier than thou attitude ~ Am not surprise that the numbers are shrinking ~ Good one Amy ~
mybeautfulthings
Well said, Amy. 🙂
kaykuala
You’ve stated it as it is, Amelita! There’s so much liberalization in all things, Church included. I suppose we can expect such reactions. Brave write!
Hank
margaret
I read Hanks reply… and it got me thinking. liberalization… hmm. I think the church is a living breathing thing… yes rules (which seem to have gotten a bum rap here) are not always bad. Can you imagine raising a kid with no rules? I also find the definition in dictionary.com a bit funny… “favorable to progress or reform — to ME, that doesn’t set well. Does progress mean reform – must we always “protest” or can it just be living, growing, progress? Because I hear a LOT of protesting … not embracing the old, yet at the same time “rejuvenating” it. Maybe I’m splitting hairs … I know I’m not eloquent enough to explain my thoughts… (thanks Amy…. 🙂
Pamela
Amelita, you can say it better than you. I am not a church dweller, nor do I pretend to be, but I hear you here, loud and clear.
Paz y amor,
Pamelita
Polly Robinson
Nice one, Amy. Hypocrisy is a tough one to deal with – especially when it’s not even realised, let alone acknowledged. Well said.
lesliebc
Oh my gosh! And people wonder why I don’t attend church anymore! And I mean this is the most loving way – I prefer to talk to God/Christ on my own. Maybe I could attend and try to change things, but I’m afraid I am too jaded after so many years trying to do “the right thing” according to church people and having worked in a church office where I saw the hypocrisy within the leaders. Sorry for the rant, but I do so agree with you!
Leslie
abcw team
Reader Wil
Excellent post! I agree with you, that many people are so conservative that they are almost hypocrites. In my church we accept and help each other. Those who don’t agree with the modern ways of life, go to the other protestant church. We have a woman minister, who is very good and is appreciated in both congregations, but not wholly accepted in the other church, who refuse to acknowledge her as vicar.
Have a great day and rest of the week!
Wil, ABCW Team
photowannabe
Amen to that!
That is why I really love our Church, and I am part of the “greatest Generation”.
As our pastor says, if you don’t move forward you will go backward.
That’s why so many churches are closing and people are staying away in droves.
I could go on and on but i think I would be preaching to the choir…
Sharp Little Pencil
Ironic, since my mother directed the choir in the “mothball church” of my upbringing!!! Amy
bloggirl52
I thought this was great. I don’t see the need to change a thing. you’ve captured an essence, whether the whole church or a portion only, and done a beautiful job of responding to a tough question: why aren’t people going to church anymore!? This type of honesty is rare in replies. 🙂 I think there are more folks in the pews to be seen than to actually give praise, at least in the “big” churches. It’s a shame believers like my hubby won’t go because they don’t see God’s hand in the congregation anymore. Again, well done.