Or Not To Be
To be
picked apart
as carrion
plucks at
carcass
To be
examined
as specimen
as subject
as experiment
as something less
Jaw ripped from
skull
Voice prized from
brain
Thoughts from
soul
Psychiatry
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Trifecta, photo by Meghan McCabe
Sharp Little Pencil 
thetwistingkaleidoscope
Very clever twist–love it!
barbara
Amy – love how you went INSIDE the clue – to the inner workings of the brain.
nicely done – and welcome to the challenge
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Barbara, it was a wonderful prompt, played to where I was at that moment. Will be back! Have Trifecta on my toolbar. Amy
Sarath Unnithan
Dark ~
Sharp Little Pencil
It only gets murkier, the further back I go! Oy. Peace, Amy
Debbie
Loved this Amy!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks as always, my sister.
leesis
oh my goodness Amy does this pack a punch.! I can only hope that somewhere within this universe of invasion there was someone who showed some true humanity and actually cared.
Sharp Little Pencil
Ironically, my current therapist and psychiatrist have helped greatly. But God has helped the most – and the earthly wonders – my husband, Lex; my daughter, Riley; my California “family” and family proper; and my poetic family. Writing is the best therapy I have in my toolbox. Thanks, Leesa. Amy
trifectawriting
Thanks for linking up to this weekend’s Trifextra Challenge. Welcome! This is such a different direction than most of our writers went, and I’m utterly intrigued by it. I love the harshness of it–your word choice, your short fragments, all of it. Just the visual of the poem is sharp and jagged. Since you say you love concrit, can I respectfully say that the final line feels a bit too jarring, and would maybe work better as part of a title? Also the “as carrion plucks at carcass” is a bit confusing and maybe would work better if *something* were plucking at carrion? Or at carcass? These are just random thoughts, but the main message here is that I really enjoyed this. I hope you’ll come back on Monday for the weekday challenge.
Sharp Little Pencil
First off, thank you SO much for some wonderful critique. This is the feedback I crave, especially when I feel the poem has been truly considered on its own merit. I’ll take a look at this – usually, I post before the final draft, simply to get my hand in there and see what folks think. I do imagine there will be changes, except for the title, which set off the whole “To Be” cycle in an ironic way… and yes, I’ll be coming back for more! Peace, Amy
brian miller
smiles….working in counseling…i hope i am a little more gentle than this…but i understand…
Raven
Amy this is so exceptionally stated!
Nicole/Ninja Mom
This was great! I have no better words; it’s too good to criticize.
MiskMask
The imagry in this is the stuff of nightmares, Amy.
Sharp Little Pencil
Brian: I’m sure you’re great. This concerned a previous psychiatrist who scrambled my brain, and if the prompt had not been 33 words EXACTLY, I would have ended it, “Bad psychiatry”!
Raven and Nicole, thanks so much.
Misk, honey, sorry about the nightmares. Imagine having them all day, and then seeing everyone double because a quack had prescribed badly!
Peace, Amy
margo roby
I loved not being sure where the poem was taking me, but feeling as if each stanza was a step towards the end, each turning slightly as it moves forward. I also like the build-up to the emotional third stanza and then the almost unemotional ‘Psychiatry’.
Sharp Little Pencil
Margo, glad you caught the clinical feel of the ending. It was an intentional punch aimed at a former doctor who truly fried my brain. Took me months to glue my jawbone back on. Thank God for Lex, who helped me through when some men would have walked away… peace, Amy
Inside the Mind of Isadora
Wouldn’t it be great if a psychiatrist could read this???
What would they feel? You showcase this subject of going
into the mind real well.
Hugs,
Izzy
Sharp Little Pencil
Ha! Izzy, you read my mind. Took it to my therapy appt. yesterday and she just sat with tears in her eyes. My psychiatrist will see it too, because our relationship must be based in fact – and since this is not an indictment of him personally (nor of the whole mental health profession, which is how is came off, unfortunately), but a bad practitioner who messed me up but good a few years back, he will understand. He needs to know my past as best he can to help me toward a healthier future. Love, Amer
Inside the Mind of Isadora
There are good and bad in all professions. There is no need for someone to take personally what someone else has done. If anything, it helps to know where someone fell through a cracks. Good for you girl ….
Hugs,
Izzy xoxoxo
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for that reassurance, Izzy, especially because I see both doctors TOMORROW! I’ve been completely in the dumper with depression but manage to put on the happy face when needed… Thanks for the hugs, I really need them, even cyber-hugs! Love, Amer
maggie
Likewise how some might critique poetry.
Well written.
Sharp Little Pencil
Oooh, Maggie, great observation! Thanks, and peace, Amy
yelena
this crawled into my mind and will surely dwell there for a while :)insightful and inspiring.
ohcgd
I can’t stop laughing…I ‘ve had mental health professionals that were so good at what they did, so gentle yet direct, and so selfless that it made my heart hurt from gratitude and awe. AND, I’ve had a few that just made things worse. I actually had one tell me only one sentence the entire time I was there, and this was after he had only read my file and had never asked me one question; “you need to just grow up.”
yep..I was pretty impressed with him 🙂
Oh…so sorry I didn’t tell ya before ..I am Woih (Dennis) Switched sites just recently. So yea, we share a lot of the same views and background.
And, as always, grateful for your sharing and presence