Amy Barlow Liberatore… stories of lost years, wild times, mental variety, faith, and lots of jazz

Tag Archives: Faith

After the Loss of Him

Her first impulse was primal:
to clamp her fists and pummel
God, invisible creator of Death.

A precise hit to God’s gut;
that might ease her unending,
sharpsullen sadness.

Time ticks on; faces blur
at the very edge of memory.
Only now can she kneel,

knowing there is no distance
between her and the Infinite.
Prayer is soothing and silent…

God answers in whisperings,
in the rhythm she will come to
accept as the rest of her life.

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For the Sunday Whirl (see Wordle and read others HERE). This is dedicated to three women I know who lost their husbands, all too early. Peace, Amy


In the Palm of God’s Hand

I dreamed I was in God’s palm
Not alone – a hundred or more
sought the same succor
I explored this miracle

Felt a callus on God’s finger
Sensitivity for the laborer
No silken luxuries in this hand;
traces of humankind’s misdeeds

His right eye, littered with shrapnel
Her left eye wept tears
black as the rains of Hiroshima,
thick as dredged Gulf Sea Tar

One arm was tattooed with a number,
the other bore scratches of barbed wire
from Matthew Shepard’s execution
The pinkie, blowing off bit by bit

by IEDs and drone strikes
His nose broken by bar fights,
her cheek bruised from spousal abuse
A rainbow was painted on God’s cheek

The children on God’s palm cried
One sold, one raped, one homeless
Adults cuddled them, sang songs
to them, and God smiled

“You are my angels on earth,
the face of Jesus, the form of
the Divine Sofia, and the human
evidence of my love for all

“Wake up and help me heal”
When I awoke, I prayed thanks
for this visit, and promised God
I’d give my all, with a servant’s hands

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

Not written to any prompt, but on the Open Link page of Imaginary Garden With Real Toads and sidebar of Poets United. This was an actual dream… and there was so much more to tell. Peace, Amy


Memo To Shrinking Churches

Hear the cries of today’s church:
“Where are the people?”
“We have a choir, we sing the hymns.”
“We have casserole suppers and Bingo.”
“We founded this church. They should come.”
“Your skirt is too short, young lady.”

Hear the whispers in the pews:
“Why is that gay flag still out in front like an ad?”
“Don’t talk to (so-and-so). You’ll get in trouble.”
“Because we’ve ALWAYS done it that way.”
“Is that a He or a She?” (muffled laughter)
“He smells bad. Is he homeless? Move over here.”
…and my personal favorite:
“Where did all these (insert minority) people come from?
We certainly didn’t invite them to worship here.”

The Greatest Generation has a problem adapting.
Yes, change is HARD. But so is sticking…
…to your ground
…to outmoded ideals
…in the mud

If you’re reading this, you are, at this moment:
on a computer
connected to the Internet
through a cable TV provider.
You may even print off copies to pass out
among “your people” in church on Sunday.

Just a reminder,
computers and printers
cable TV
and the Internet
were NOT around when “Father Knew Best,”

So are you really doing things “the way we always have?”

Or are you only comfortable updating
your acceptance and needs
when it’s conveeeeeenient?

With love from The Church Lady

Just a reminder to Christians who have forgotten we follow a man who was homeless by choice and preached unconditional love. This post may not seem loving, but I do mean it as a loving wake-up call to those who thing stale-bread-cube worship, within four walls of a church on Sundays, is the only way to follow Christ. Worship is great; I get a lot from it, but I grow weary of “cafeteria Christians.”  You can’t grow a church until you expand your hearts to include everyone – and quit bitching about change.

For Imaginary Garden With Real Toads’ Open Link Monday and dverse Open Mic Night. ALSO, Roger Green is adding this link to ABC Wednesday, where the letter is J – for Jesus. Thanks for watching my back, Roger! Peace, Amy


One Last Good Day (for Mama)

One last good day
(seems like yesterday)
we sat in her hospital room
drinking coffee and
shooting the shit about
the old days and Blanche and
all that was impossible to believe
yet still hysterically true…

Crow’s feet clung to her eyes.
Her lover of 40 years, Bel-Airs,
left crack-etched scars on her lips
so rooted in her nicotine habit.

Next day, she eroded, the disease
wove its coma cocoon, strength
so scarce at the last.
This stasis, this vegetation…
Her body, temple turned cell,
imprisoned her soul.

Lord, in your mercy, you
rained down her release.
Amen.

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

The Sunday Whirl’s Brenda gave us an interesting list, and somehow it turned into this true story of my mother and me. On that last good day, I gave her permission to die, which she craved more than I knew until I said the words. She teared up and said, “Really?”

My mother, Charlotte, went through hell during her final hospitalization, and I’m glad she’s been at peace for 21 years. This also appears at Open Link Monday for Imaginary Garden With Real Toads, where I suspect Charlotte’s spirit is hiding amid the ferns, looking for a book of matches… Amy


Yes, it’s true, I’ve joined the “700 Club”! Oh, wait a sec… actually, this is a poem that Pat Robertson would do well to read, since he’s all about putting down anyone and anything he doesn’t understand, and using God as an excuse. He makes the phrase “bully pulpit” come to life in a new way… So let’s talk about love, shall we?

Love is Not/Love is

Love is not the flip side of hatred
Love is not a sexual act
Love is not what your parents told you
or what your friends brag about
Love is not locked up or meant to be hoarded

Love is friendship to the nth power
It’s giving up what you cling to in the world
for the sake of helping another
Turning your back on Honey Boo-Boo in favor of
cradling abandoned crack babies in the NicU
It’s holding hands that are colder than yours

Love is vast as creation
Warmer than bread fresh out of the oven
More beautiful than your granny’s eyes

Each day we are given the chance
to show love to others
Love is the only thing that can heal our fractured world,
and it starts with each one of us.

Fling wide open your arms
Dance to the sacred rhythm
Unlock that latched love and give it to the world

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

For Poets United, where Kim Nelson was looking for poems about locks. I wrote this earlier today before encountering her prompt, as though the planets were in alignment! Also “in the margins” at my poetic Imaginary Garden With Real Toads. Peace to all, and let the love begin. Amy


Living With It

I live with manic depression
My constant companion
Reflecting my moods,
flexible in social situations
Always ready for conversations

At night, as I lie in fetal position,
it spoons my spine
It dances in the rain with me; it’s
my partner trolling homeless venues

People say my brain ain’t right
I say, “Wrong”
I see things wide awake they
cannot conjure in dreams
Hear music of another world while
their ears are stuck in this one

Feel the breeze blowing
through my soul, sweet and
filled with love.

If all that’s wrong, well,
like the song says,
I don’t wanna be “right”

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

‘Bipolar’ sounds like you’re either up or down. It can be that way, but I prefer the term manic depression, rooted in depression with frequent upswings in energy when left untreated. Yet here I am, with proper treatment, claiming the best part – that “other-mindedness” of which I often write. I feel God has blessed me (God can be quirky), and I hope my gratitude is reflected in this poem. For Imaginary Garden With Real Toads’ Open Link Monday.

Peace, Amy


Summer Treasures Remembered

Silence is for remembrance, thoughts of her childhood.

Summers… The dappled pony on Aunt Beth’s farm, riding at a canter back to the house. Shucking corn, peeling skin from squash, separating rind from dead-ripe melons. The tang of lemonade, made from scratch. Braised ribs from Moody, the steer who kicked and broke her wrist. Dinners on a platter; breakfast straight from Grandma’s cast-iron skillet.

There was no tomorrow, at least not until Ma came to collect her and the boys, back to the fast-paced, grimy city, home.

She switches gears to five years ago when, after careful moral inventory, she chose. Rejecting city life for the solace of the country cloister. Truth is transitory; choosing the habit over skinny jeans, long sleeves over skimpy T’s. Her chestnut hair fluttered to the floor, shorn like a sheep at Beth’s farm. Her simple cell: table with wash basin, lamp, bed, cross overhead.

A final goodbye to family as she enters the authenticity of spiritual life, simplicity over audacity. Ma lingers at the cloister gate, remembers how little Sandy (now Sister Joan) took catechism class so seriously. Sister Joan smiles from two floors above, then joins her order in preparing a home-cooked dinner to be driven into town for the homeless.

Shuck, peel, braise, remember.

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

This was for Kerry O’Connor’s Get Listed at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads; words can be found HERE. Yes, I took liberties with the word “malinger,” but hey, my Iroquois name would be “Plays With Words.”  Kerry said to use two or three, but I went to town and used ’em all!

My BFF, John, was at one time a brother in the Franciscan Order; later, he became a priest. Now he’s thoroughly enjoying life as an ex-priest/healthcare worker, moonlighting as a piano bar player in Philadelphia. Man, John can SING. He even performed “New York, New York” at his ordination party (including key change, per his instructions to the band). Peace, Amy

 


TO ALL: Whatever your faith, I invite you to read this. You may follow a
different path, but it’s really all about living in love.

In Step With Jesus
(For Bob Gwynne and Monica Wahlberg, with love and thanks)

To be in step with Jesus…
Stop. Wait. Listen.

Allow Jesus to choose your stride.
It may be slower; it may take you
down by the riverside or
wash you in rainfall.

You may see yourself
offering a hand to one whom
you wouldn’t have touched
the week before.

To be in step with Jesus…
Stop. Wait. Listen.
Allow the Spirit inside.
Let your soul be enveloped
by the Divine Sofia, Wisdom.

You may see yourself
in sandals, sharing love,
feeding those in need, even
acting up in the
“Temples of Power.”

You will change.

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

Yes, it’s my 666th post. No, this is not the first horse of the Apocalypse, nor do I believe in “the mark of the Beast,” and I’m not going there with any jokes, either (although 6/66 is when my friend Monica was born, so there you go, one happy coincidence, an early birthday present).

This poem was inspired and written entirely at Sunday morning’s praise and worship service, during which guest “sermonator” Rev. Bob Gwynne (an activist of many years; he and his jubilant wife, Jesse, are respected senior members of our church), gave an excellent sermon about being in step with Christ.

For Imaginary Garden With Real Toads’ Open Link Monday, and the Poetry Pantry at Poets United.  Also, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW, SO STAY TUNED!  (ribit croak gruggle)  Peace to all, Amy


LION-HEARTED MAN (R.I.P. Marques Bovre)

From a distance
(when first I spied him
setting up his gear in church)
I thought he was an old man

He walked with a cane
Could barely negotiate
setting up his guitar
but his daughter helped

The closer I got to Marques
the clearer the view and
I knew this was a man
not only young, but vital

His face shined, his eyes
danced, and when he sang
it was coming from an old soul
with a kid’s sense of fun

The band played many of
his songs, the heart of
the ministry, seeds
sown for the Gospel

But it wasn’t a cult of
personality; Marques
was too humble for that
He said he was a servant

Then came the diagnosis
Rumors of tumors, he
even gave them names:
Hobgoblin and The Creep

Hoped to see spring flowers
He loved Dandelions and
made me love them too
He struggled but always smiled

We lost him this week
A lion-hearted man who
knew who he was, whose he was
and where he was going

We had many months to prepare
for this day, this awful news
The truth is: You can prepare
for someone to be dying

but you can’t prepare for
when they are actually dead
Marques, brother, father, friend
We’ll sing your songs to the end

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

Marques Bovre, singer, guitarist, composer, artist-in-residence at Lake Edge United Church of Christ’s “Worship at the Edge,” died this week at the age of 50.

There have been numerous fundraisers to help pay for his cancer treatments over the past year or so, which brings me back to the fundamental question: Why should ANYONE have to have fundraisers to pay for CEOs to have private planes and yacht trips to Bermuda? Health care is a right. Now, Marques would be the first to say he was no better than anyone else in this world (in fact, on his last CD, “Nashville Dandelion,” there was one song called, “On The Body Of Christ, I Am The A**hole.” That’s his wry sense of humor, and we loved him for it).

Please visit Marques’ site HERE. There are his songs, his story. He never proselytized, and yet a more fervent believer I never knew.  If you like what you hear, BUY SOME MUSIC. Tracy still has medical bills to cover, in the midst of her grief. It will mean a lot to the whole family, and to me.

Rest in peace, brother.  This poem will be at dverse Open Mic Night and at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads (man, Marques would have dug that title), where the garden is open for any and all new poems.  Love, Amy


ARMED

Put yourself in his position.

The kid was always odd.
Mom got knocked up but
some guy married her to
keep her off welfare or worse.

He grew up. Spoke loudly
at worship when he should’ve
kept quiet, now they thought
he was more disturbed that ever.

Roamed around with a bunch of
homeless dudes, got kicked out
of his hometown, they booed him.
“Crazy,” they whispered. Harsh.

He gets in big trouble and
hides out in the woods, but
one of his gang gives him up to
the authorities. He is cornered.

If Jesus had had a gun in Gethsamane,
would he have taken aim at the guards?
Nowadays, it would barely make the crawl:
“Middle Eastern man, 33, guns down cops.”

Jesus would never own a gun; he shunned
violence. He preached unconditional love,
and that’s not shown with assault rifles.

Even when betrayed with a kiss.

Even when tortured by Roman soldiers.

Even when people screamed at him
on the long, laden perp walk to Golgotha.

Even bloodied, he forgave those who
drove nails into his body.

Even as he was raised up on the cross
and set up for display like a sick statue.

Suspend belief in the resurrection
for a moment. He had no idea what
was coming next, and still, he chose death
willingly, for the sake of others.

What if Jesus had an assault rifle or
a high-powered Palin moose killer?
If you’re Christian, ask yourself:
Whose message do you put more faith in?

The words of Christ… or the lobbyists of the NRA?

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

For ABC Wednesday, we are back to Square One: A! I imagine this will ruffle some feathers, but remember, the crux of this not “either/or,” but rather, priorities. One can be a Christian and hunt, go to the shooting range. It’s a personal choice whether you feel safer with a pistol in the house, but if it’s stored and the ammo locked up, as it should be, that’s not a lot of help when, as Rush Limbaugh so eloquently put it today, “Obama’s thugs come to your door to seize your guns.” Ted Nugent would call me nuts, but I don’t think hunting requires Kalishnikovs. People are so fearful (some of that biracial man in the White House), they are stocking up on ammo!

FYI: Despite Rush’s ranting about the Commander In Chief (calling the president Socialist, Muslim, Nazi, racist, a traitor, and TAR BABY… let’s all throw up now), RUSH is the only radio talk show on the Armed Forces Network. This treason goes directly to the troops. Your tax dollars at work, and mine.)

It’s all about choices. And politics. And remembering who, and whose, you are. As for me and mine, I’m with Jesus; Gandhi; Martin Luther King, Jr.; the Buddah…  you get the idea.  Peace, Amy