SHE DIDN’T CHANGE (for Laura/Riley)
She was brilliant
Head of the class, sassy
Audrey-Hepburn beautiful
Powerful sense of justice
Rhythmically gifted
Constantly questioning authority
Doodling in the margins of her homework
Nose glued to a book or
to Japanimation on the tube
One day she decided
to tell me the truth,
that she is not straight
She calls it “queer”
(“Lesbian sounds like I emigrated.”)
And that’s the day I knew
My daughter is
Brilliant
Classy
Sassy
Beautiful
Powerful
Rhythmic
Queer
Challenging
Artistic
Well-read
Destined to illustrate a graphic novel
In no particular order, these qualities
And guess what?
In my eyes
In the eyes of her family
She didn’t change
She adjusted her horizon
and we adjusted with her
© 2010 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
previously posted at Poetic Asides
Sharp Little Pencil 
Sherry Blue Sky
I love this poem so much. Your daughter had a good sense of self, which means you parented her really well. And it is wonderful to hear about a child who can say who she is and be supported and loved and affirmed. I know of some kids who basically lose their families when they come out and that is just tragic and so unfair.
I especially love your saying she adjusted her horizon and you adjusted with her. Wow, Amy. Way to be a Mom!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for this, Sherry. I, too, had many friends who were told they were dead to their own parents, who were ushered out of church. One guy had his baby pictures sent to him by parcel post – all pix cut up into little pieces. He died of stress-related heart failure at 36.
I knew what “gay” was when I was 5, just because I asked a question about why Uncle Tony and Uncle John never brought girlfriends to our parties. Mom just said they felt about each other like my mom and dad. So it’s always been a minor issue for me… it’s not like they were inappropriate in front of me or anything. Just a couple of guys, you know?
Debbie
I loved that ending, Amy. It says so much and I’m so glad she has you and you have her! 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Debbie, that means a lot to me. We are a solid family and we’ve been through a lot together. Riley is amazing, artistic, and a real “mensch.”
Peace, Amy
Deborah
A wonderful poem…and as it should be! brilliant :o)
Rachel Green
What a delightful piece. I hope she grows up to be everything she wants to be.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Rachel. She is. Art school, taking time off to work on a graphic novel-to-movie (storyboarding the movie). Let’s hope it takes off!!! She is a wonderful, talented young woman, and we are so proud of her. Thanks for stopping by! Peace, Amy
jennirey
Too Cool Mom! I applaud you..,
My Chelsea announced that once upon a time too, She has now had a boyfriend named Michael for over 1 1/2 years now…
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s all so flexible. Who cares, as long as my kid is happy? I played at a wedding for another “fence jumper” (loving term, and cute) and the whole guest list was gay folks!
ladynimue
Bows to thee !
I was wondering which of your poem I should be sharing on my blog .. any suggestions ?
Sharp Little Pencil
Black History Month, definitely. Or else Loud, Lecherous Legislators. I say, stir it up, little darlin’!! Amy
ladynimue
Sure ! thanks !! will be linking one of these tomm 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much! I really appreciate that you like my work enough to do this…
tasithoughts
Absolutely truthful and to the point. Sexuality is just one part of a person. Your daughter is so much more. This was a wonderful piece which shows what all parents know about their children in their uniqueness and wonderfulness. We all need to look at each other through the same set of lenses – real love.
JP
Sharp Little Pencil
Thank you for “getting” this poem. It has taken me time to realize, over all these years, that folks are folks and people love who they love. I’ve understood what “gay” was since I was 5 (because I asked my mom, and she explained it quite simply, in terms of love) and don’t understand why people get tied up in knots. It’s not like I walk around all day being straight. I mean, what does that mean, anyway? 😉 Amy
Pingback: Queer ways « Pages from my mind
scrambled7
Your daughter seems lovely, reflecting good parenting skills.
I like this poem very much. 🙂
thanks for sharing it.
Sharp Little Pencil
I thought you would appreciate this poem, and thanks for the comment on parenting. It means a lot, since for so many years I raised her as a single mom and really did it alone. Lex didn’t come along until Riley was eight; we married, with her blessing, when she was 9! She came out her senior year and even “outed” herself to the whole faculty and all parents in her Valedictorian speech!! A.
✰✰♡☮ ThaaNie BiebeR ☮♡✰✰
Great Poem! 🙂
– Thaanie 😀
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for coming by, Thaanie, I’ll visit you next! Amy
zumpoems
What a great last line — very original and powerful. Wonderfully expressed love for a daughter.
Sharp Little Pencil
I appreciate your words; believe me, some folks in my own family think I’m nuts and/or going to hell for accepting Riley as she is. And I think THEY are nuts for considering for a moment rejecting their own child. Thanks, Zum! I’ll pay you a visit now… Amy
Poetry & Icecream
This is beautiful Amy and so is your daughter! You are an awesome mum and this is reflected in your daughter’s sense of self. She is comfortable in her skin and has beautiful qualities. I applaud you Amy. Thanks for sharing this with me 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Norma, I thought you would appreciate this. She is her own person, 24 and running life for herself in California. Artistic is only the beginning… what a great jazz drummer, what a great friend she is. Trustworthy, sweet, and her laugh is like bells tinkling. I applaud RILEY! ;^) Amy
uponthewingsofnight
I really like this poem, Amy. I have had a few family members come out, and my opinion of them did not change one bit. I accepted them and loved them for who they were and are. One of them has since passed on(Duane), but I told him many times before then that he was my brother and that would never change. One side note…is your daughter aware of Terri Lynn Carrington? Brett
Sharp Little Pencil
Brett, we both have lots of gay family in common. And no, I don’t think Riley’s into much music these days, as she has dedicated herself to art as in painting and graphics, etc., these days. Because of her condition, it’s hard for her to follow more than one thing at a time… so it’s art or… you know, nothing! Amy