From A Wordling Whirl of Sundays, Brenda Warren’s creation. Prompt words in bold. Also at my poetry resting and nesting place, Poets United. Peace to all, Amy
Renata’s Scarves
Renata’s scarves hold exotic stories.
One reveals a temple, columns casting shadow on light.
A gossamer veil with sparks in its threads
etches a pattern that glints when held to the lamp.
But the most telling of all:
A tangled sky-blue sheath, slit down the center,
where his knife cut clear to her thighbone.
Demons and diamonds,
serpents and stardust.
© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
ladynimue
that was one tempting scarf to have !!!
Loved the way you placed the words 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much, Nimue. You seem like you would be into scarves, by the way. There’s a romance in your poetry that calls it out….
Kim Nelson
Oh My Goodness! What a picture you paint, Amy. I am ever amazed at your ability to conjure and create wonder from the ordinary. So very well done.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/20/bella/
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Kim. Actually, it’s Brenda’s Wordles that make it all easy for me. I’m hooked!! amy
brenda w
Amy, I love the title of your poem. Scarves and veils pull me in, the glinting threads, flowing through air. The last two lines are perfect. I’m glad you’re wordling.
~Brenda
Sharp Little Pencil
Brenda, I’m singing your praises far and wide for your Wordle on Sundays. Even though I usually don’t get a decent poem until around Wednesday, it’s so worth it. Your wordles aren’t a grab bag of words; they have a possibiltily of flow, of relationship, so they are the best! Thanks, Amy
pmwanken
Amy: I saw your comment to me on your last post re: having trouble with “etches”…ironically, “temple” gave me the most fits, and that was the phrase you specifically pulled out to comment on! I guess spending that extra time trying to really make that word “work” paid off. I left a brief response for you at my site, but wanted to reiterate and expound on it here: thank you so much for your generously-kind words. I do not take lightly the words you leave behind after your visits. I’m truly honored by your kudos. I does this “young” writer (in experience, not years ~ LOL) a world of good to get feedback like that from someone like you. Thank you. Now….as far as this wordle goes…wow! I do love how the words are the same but take us all in such different directions. The first two scarves had such a lighty, airy quality about them…those stanzas left me feeling quite wistful…and then the knife. Wow. Nicely done.
Here is my most recent poem….the first, in a while, not written to a prompt:
http://whenwordsescape.wordpress.com/2011/06/19/illumination/
Thanks again, Amy….
~Paula
Sharp Little Pencil
Paula, I am newer to poetry than my age would suggest as well, but in some ways still a girl at heart.
Critiques from poets I respect are very much valued, indeed. And I agree, the part of the poems I have the hardest time with often end up with the most positive comments! It’s like, go figure.
You often leave me comprehensive comments that prove you not only read the poem, but you “got” it. Altonian and Bee, as well as Richard (Mr. W) and others, do the same. It’s a gift when we can share our honest feelings and critiques (in love), and that’s why I began blogging. The compliments are nice, but the feelings garnered by readers and fellow poets let me know that I’m on the right track… or sometimes, that I need to rework a poem because everyone took it the wrong way!!
Bless you, Paula. I’m in a rush to do a bunch of stuff, but will take time to read your poem. Not to a prompt? I keep thinking I should steer clear of prompts for periods of time, but they are so darned tempting! Take care, and peace, Amy
Becca Givens
Amy – quite a talent to incorporate all the words from Wordle prompt … I have visited several times and in awe of those you accomplish the task. Love the title and your piece. 🙂
vivinfrance
Magical. it sends my thoughts off in all directions.
Sharp Little Pencil
Yes… that is a good sign!
Tilly Bud
I like what you did. I’ve got not much yet.
Sharp Little Pencil
Don’t worry, just sit and stare for awhile. Those little words, a baker’s dozen this week, will whip themselves into shape in no time! 🙂
Miskmask
Fabulous, really, Amy. My grandchildren returned home today after spending 3 weeks with me. No writing during that time, so I’m feeling a bit rusty, but your poem reminds me of the wonder stored in our imaginations.
Sharp Little Pencil
Wow, grandchildren. And my daughter, only 22… and only grandkids I’ll get will be “turkey baster babies,” LOL.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Henry. I used to collect silk scarves; at one point, they served as my only barrier to the rest of a loft apartment! I’ll see what you are up to now…. Amy
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Debbie. They were mostly quite compatible with the theme, but “etches” had me squirming for quite a while!
Sharp Little Pencil
Yeah, that was the effect I was going for! Glad you latched onto it, ROG!
Renee Espriu
Awesome! A story all on its’ own and your words so descriptive…well, what else can be said. Well done!!
Sharp Little Pencil
Renee, thanks so much for your kind critique. I have no idea where the images came from… I just stared at the words until the story began to form. Thanks again! Amy
Mr. Walker
Amy, this one is very tight. I imagined her different scarves telling different stories. One chosen for work, one for a night out – it’s a great concept. And you managed to run the gamut from the sacred to the profane. A scarf as a sheath – chilling.
Richard
Sharp Little Pencil
Richard, once again, thank you for reading the poem completely and commenting in such detail. And yes, each scarf to its place and time… Amy