Teacher Says
There was only one reason really to think about
going into fifth grade and start smiling about it
I was getting Mr. Hansen, the teacher I was hoping for
I’ve seen him in his classroom
so tall
so handsome
that five o’clock shadow always, even in the morning
like Don Draper
(Mom tapes Mad Man and I sneak peeks)
I sat up on hot summer nights
imagining chalk sliding across the board
in smoooooooth strokes
It gave me shivers, wishing the chalk was his hand
and I was the chalkboard
School started and I wore my new earrings
because Mom let me pierce my ears for my birthday
Last Thursday afternoon, I asked for extra help
with math – we’re starting to study all the different angles
(My sister calls me obtuse but I still don’t understand why)
He smiled and I could tell he liked that I asked him
For a few minutes, at his desk, just the two of us
Then he brushed his hand on my leg and said,
You shave your legs. That’s pretty grown-up of you.
I blushed and muttered thank you and tingled all over
We’re gonna do the math thing once a week
He said he’s got a way to show me how right angles work
but I shouldn’t tell anybody because the other girls
might get jealous, you know how young girls are, he said
I said, don’t worry, it’ll be our secret
© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Wrote this today, no prompt, just something that was in that huge grab-bag of scraps I keep by my desk. It’s like Felix the Cat’s Bag of Tricks – I reach in, pull out a few scribbles, and expand one of the thoughts into a complete poem. Such is the work of this poet. It will, as always, be on Poets United, the poets’ collective. Peace, Amy
Sharp Little Pencil 
liv2write2day
Wow. This started out as a sweet preteen reminiscence and then you left me wondering. Skillful narrative poem.
Sharp Little Pencil
Liv, your mind is going to the correct place, unfortunately. Some teachers go into the field for the wrong reasons…
I appreciate your feedback, as I love your writing! Amy
Debbie
You have such a gift, Amy! Thank you for writing and sharing! Would you consider most of your poems narrative? Like telling stories? I love them!
Sharp Little Pencil
Yes, I guess my free-verse work is largely narrative. It’s meant to be read aloud, and in a personal way. I participate in a lot of open mics and folks really latch onto the feel. You can hear me read some of mine (and a lot of other really great poems, like Buddah Moskowitz and A.M. Trumble, read our stuff at:
http://www.virtualpoetryreading.com
You can also phone your own in for others to hear. It’s one thing to read the work; quite another to hear it read aloud by the poet. Thanks, hon. Amy
MiskMask
A situation of violated trust. A tragedy for those children whose idealised concepts of adults is forever changed.
Tilly Bud
This is a scary poem, Amy.
Sharp Little Pencil
Scarier still because it happens all the time. I always tell parents, be sure to meet all your child’s teachers and really scope them out…
vivienne Blake
I like the way you get your messasge across without spelling it out in words of one syllable, not rubbing our noses in it. It makes the poem even more powerful that we have to read beneath the surface.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for this, Viv. It helps me understand that there is strength in not spelling every detail out. I guess that’s a sign of growth, which is what I’m striving for. See you on your turf, and thanks again for the help, Amy
Altonian
One can almost certainly see it coming. If she can’t see it, perhaps her sister is right – she IS obtuse! This carried me along with the sad inevitability of the outcome.
As this is an un-prompted work, it would be lovely to see it on our new The Tale Tellers site.
Sharp Little Pencil
DIdn’t know about the site, Leigh. Will have to check it out, thanks for asking me to post it. Cannot find it on Google, so will email you for a link.
And yes, it is a sad story, and as old as time. Scary. Thanks, Amy
Monika
I am still in awe of your work. “imagining chalk sliding across the board
in smoooooooth strokes It gave me shivers, wishing the chalk was his hand
and I was the chalkboard1” This is one intimate and powerful imagery.
Some secrets can be dangerous too as well. I doubt yours. 😉
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much for this comment, Monika, and for visiting my blog. I use a lot of onomatopoeia in my work, and a lot of sensual-but-scary images. Part of being an incest survivor, I believe. By this time, most of my readers know I have few if any secrets… I’m an open book of manic depression, PTSD. alcoholic family, singing in clubs for years, and… married to a pastor! Cornucopia Girl! Will visit your blog now… Peace, Amy
brian miller
ugh, this is spinning down a very scary path…nicely written
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for visiting, Brian. Yeah, you got the point, and it is scary. That’s why I got to know all of Riley’s teachers very well when she was in school! Thanks again, and peace, Amy
siubhan
I could sense where this one was going, but the ending made me shiver just the same. Not at all bad for a “few scribbles” from a grab-bag of scraps! Brava!
Sharp Little Pencil
Oh, I have a garbage bag full of notes and napkins from cafes, backs of used envelopes… sometimes I have to transcribe off my hand when I can’t find another surface!
I tried very hard to be oblique with the ending. Vivienne Blake has been instrumental in helping me by subtly pointing out when I am doing things well. Bless her!
I’m coming over to see you now. Thanks for stopping and for the kind words. Peace, Amy
Kim Nelson
Wow! You pulled a powerful piece out of that grab bag. This is exactly how it begins, isn’t it? The wrongness of one in a position of power misleading, misusing, abusing those in his charge.
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s also the reason I met ALL of Riley’s teachers, every year. Have a sixth sense for it. Actually had the principal change one of her classes because I had a skeevy vibe off the guy. Thanks so much, Kim.
TheMsLvh
Hi, I just spent several moments reading a few of your writtings and was truly impressed. Love your topics, flow, and candor. Just thought I would drop you a line. Loved your blog!
Sharp Little Pencil
So glad you stopped by – I just did the same with yours and found intense beauty there. Your are truly gifted, and I thank you for the compliment about my writing. Peace, Amy
Claudia
ugh…this was like a punch into the stomach – when they misuse their authority and power…well written
Sharp Little Pencil
Sometimes I am compelled to write about these visceral things, perhaps because I’m an incest survivor and open about it. I’ve known teachers who were like this. One got a slap in the face, but he never reported me! Amy
Jo Bryant
This poem disturbed me on so many levels. WOW
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for stopping, Jo. Hope I didn’t scare you off. I tend to write the hard truths about abuse and mental illness, etc. If you read my bio you’ll see I am living successfully with manic depression and so the stories I remember are often fodder for my poetry. I’ll head over and give you a “nicer” link!
When all is said and done, I’m never sorry for writing these, because then other folks feel they can talk about their ‘shadows,’ wherever they are found. Peace, Amy
Joe Hesch
I guess I’m a little obtuse, myself, because I didn’t see this twist coming until it smacked me like Sister Mary Erma with her damn ruler. Good story-telling here. The voice also maintained a starry-eyed youngster’s tone, throughout, too. The ending left me a little creeped by both parties.
Sharp Little Pencil
If it left you feeling creeped, then I did my job, Joe! Your description of HOW it hit you brought a belly laugh, I must admit. Sister Mary Erma, oy.
As a child, we look up to our teachers – and young girls and boys get crushes. It’s up to the teacher to maintain integrity, and many times, they fail. I was hoping to keep the suspense for the end, and it worked, so glory hallelujah, and thanks, Joe. I’ll go see your blog now! Peace, Amy
Madeleine Begun Kane
Powerful poem! Wow!
Sharp Little Pencil
Difficult to write, but it needs to be said, you know? Thanks, Mad. Amy