Outstanding WHAT?
Why am I limping around a hospital
in a gown open to show the whole world my ass
with a belly as big as a piñata
screaming “ICE CHIIIIIPS!!”?
Ah yes, the joys of birthing
in 98-degree September.
The baby will be born on Labor Day,
an ironic detail…
That’s what I get for
outstanding ovulation!
© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
(For Sunday Scribblings, variation on “Standing Ovation,” also posted at Poets United.)
Sharp Little Pencil 
RJ Clarken
LOL!
Sharp Little Pencil
I knew you’d like this one, ha ha ha. Amy
Mike Patrick
Can’t write . . . laughing too hard. This is a keeper.
Sharp Little Pencil
Everyone’s getting a chuckle out of this one. I know, it’s to groan, but what the hell? Amy
Daydreamertoo
Oooo Ohhhh .. Congratulations!! 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Don’t worry, it was 22 years ago… although I still cannot even LOOK at Gatorade, LOL.
booguloo
And the horn section went waaw waaw… smiles…
Sharp Little Pencil
And the drummer did that high-hat thing, ba-da-bum! Ha ha, thanks, MIke! Amy
Susannah
I love it! lol
Sharp Little Pencil
Could not resist the pun! Thanks, Susannah, peace, Amy
Kim Nelson
Totally entertaining, Amy. You have a gift for seeing things in unique and wondrous ways. I am never disappointed when I visit.
Sharp Little Pencil
Right back atcha, Kim. I saw that prompt and thought, oh, yeah, good chance for a pun that would make everyone grown. And Riley really WAS born on Labor Day! Amy
Bodhirose
Hilarious! Great take on “Standing Ovation”!
Sharp Little Pencil
Had to do it. Had to. Just because, you know?! A.
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto
Ah, the indignity of those hospital gowns!!!
Sharp Little Pencil
My friend John, who used to be a priest in a hospital, called those gowns “the great equalizer: No one can escape them, no matter how rich they are!” A
kaykuala
Amy,
Bravo,, one up for mothers. Motherhood is a progeny process involving anticipation,mystery,emotions,joy.fertility,health and efforts.It is a wonder decided not by oneself but handed ready-made on day one, the birthdate. I like ‘Baby will be born on Labor Day’, a classic pun here.
Thank you for sharing the ‘joys of birthing’ with us. Us, meaning the male specie who has a lot to do with it!
Hank
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much for visiting! And Riley WAS born on Labor Day, believe it or not. Used to tell her all the parades were for the both of us… her birth and my labor (her father slept through most of it and never attended La Maze classes… gee, why didn’t I see the divorce coming even then?). Note to ALL expectant fathers (and lesbian moms): If you want to be included in the miracle, help out with all the prep, too, and then your joy will be all the greater and your partner all the more grateful!
Hank, you are too cool to weigh in on this. And yes, y’all have as much to do with it as you want! (See warning above, LOL) Blessings! Amy
Laurie Kolp
Amy- This is hilarious! You’ve set quite the picture in my mind. I can relate to giving birth in the scorching summer heat. My babies’ birthdays- June 13, August 10, August 29. The last one was the worse… he was a nine pounder, tweny-one inches.
Sharp Little Pencil
Oy, you have me beat. I conceived right around Thanksgiving. You must have amazing Halloweens at your house, LOL. But nine pounds? That’s just not right! I’m sure you love them all, too. The memory of the experience becomes less “I can still feel it” and more anecdotal as the years pass, at least mine has after 22 years! Love this comment, Laurie. Amy
christine
Very clever, the pencil is sharp today.
Sharp Little Pencil
The pencil is sharp, but the mind is in transit – stuck between depressed and manic! Like that Harry Potter station, Track 9 1/2!! Thanks, really, I appreciate it, Christine… Amy
pmwanken
Too fun!! …outstanding ovulation….that cracks me up! 🙂
Here’s my scribblings…
http://whenwordsescape.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/sunday-scribblings-73111/
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for leaving the link, Paula. These really help! Amy
dani
outstanding play on “standing ovation” ~ my daughter was born at the end of September. summer pregnancies suck! ♥
Sharp Little Pencil
Manhattan. 103 degrees and no air conditioning. I rest my case. If it hadn’t have been for the Carvel’s down the street where I could get the occasional choc. shake, I would have had a nervous breakdown!!! I share your pain, o sister of summer mums!
Leif G.S.
*groan* I didn’t think you would go for the pun. You went for the pun. *shakes head*
I liked it, I giggled after groaning. Very well done!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks. I believe the pun is one of the highest forms of humor, not the lowest! I especially love hanging with someone else who puns, too… you see how long you can keep the groans going until someone says, “I got nothin’!” Ha ha, glad I have you a laugh, Leif! Amy
Inside the Mind of Isadora
Labor Day … Sweet … !!!!
Isadora
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s true. I broke water on a Sunday night, and she was born at 5:14 on Monday afternoon! Thanks for coming by, Isadora, I’ll be over to see what’s shakin’ at your site now! Amy
Tilly Bud
lol! Love it. It brings back dreadful memories – I was biggest with Spud at the height of an SA summer. I didn’t leave the house for a month.
Sharp Little Pencil
Oh, Laurie Kolp has us beat. THREE late summer babies. Oy! We are all bummer summer mommies, I guess! But what you get as a parting gift is worth the world! Amy
kaykuala
Amy Ma’am,
That’s an uncanny coincidence on Labor day. Not many could do what you and Riley did.You deserve all the festivities they have on Labor day to call your own.
Tell you what happened on my ‘labor days’. Basically the same for both occasions. About 24 hrs before D-day and when contractions were first felt I had my loving wife Shadah admitted. When wheeled into delivery, I was there holding her hands. I now realize it was good to be there. More so when the nursing staff tended to be more considerate with a man around. A woman in labor may be whining and the handlers were already used to them that way. They tended to be rough. I had to remind them to be nice. Without the hubby’s presence you ladies would be just be pushed around and you couldn’t do anything about it.
I had sought the Dr’s consent to be in the room. I thought I was prepared to be brave. I was frightened,concerned and squeamish. I was not at that vantage position by the Dr’s side but at my wife’s side. I held her hands. When baby was about to come and she was still whining, I kissed her on the cheeks. I whispered, ‘it’s ok….say a prayer…’ I think she did. When I looked up, baby’s head appeared and things then happened very fast. Praise be to God things went smoothly for both occasions. Whew!
Sharp Little Pencil
Hank, you are a WONDERFUL role model for all fathers-to-be. Mothers who read this blog will sing you praises! It’s hard enough to be in pain, sometimes so much so that I was either sick to my stomach or in the middle of a contraction and unable to speak… so to have a really strong advocate at my side would have been a blessing. I do know that, had my husband Lex and i (both second marriages) been blesses with children, he would have done it your way. And, as you say, even though it was at times hard for you, it was the kisses on the cheek and the prayers that must have helped Shadah so much. God bless you, Hank. You are Father of the Year! Blessings to you and yours, Amy
marja
lol a nice twist on the prompt. Love it
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for stopping by, Marja! Nice to see you – will come to your blog now. Thanks! Amy
brian
haha luckily both my boys were born in fall…outstanding ovulation…smiles.
Sharp Little Pencil
Must have been LATE fall; otherwise, you would not have survived to write this post, LOL. Thanks, Brian! Amy
brenda w
Alas, poor Ovulation. I knew it well. 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
I’m post=menopausal and sometimes still feel that “mittelschmertz” thing, where you could swear one little girl was trying to pry her way through!!!!!!! TMI? LOL
Daydreamertoo
Didn’t realise it was THAT long ago… lol Nothing wrong with your memory~! 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Ha, except for about 1977-79. That, my dears, is called, “Amy: The Lost Years,” by my best friend John… like a mini-series, except it’s all commercials, LOL
kaykuala
Amy,
Thanks for your kind words. A man has to do what he’s got to do. Have a pleasant week-end!
Sharp Little Pencil
Hee hee, you too, Hank. Have fun – whatEVER you do, wink. A
Old Egg
Let me sneak in some applause before the next SS prompt comes up. I was somewhat taken back at the prompt as it didn’t fit in what I had in mind. Dredging up your past to keep us amused with your interpretation was a real delight.
Sharp Little Pencil
Oh, Rob, thanks for this. Having been in show business for years, I couldn’t do anything more on that old saw, so then I decided to pun!! Got a couple of groans, and I loved those comments, too! Amy