A New Day
Eyes closed, sensing first
the warm salt air of San Juan
The scent of jasmine potpourri
now fills my head pleasurably, sensually
A salamander dink, dinks her way
up the white plaster bedroom wall
I smile
Baby’s still asleep
Eyes open, I am reminded I had
the whole bed to myself last night
The room is lacquered that antiseptic white
that screams: RENTAL
A crystal hung in the window
catches a sunbeam and pitches it
from ceiling to mirror and onto my bare toes,
and I laugh out loud.
Then I burst into tears.
It’s been years since I woke up smiling,
even though mornings have always
done their best to cheer me up.
Through the tears, I manage a smile –
baby opens the door, climbs on the bed,
pats the vacant pillow and looks at me
like a curly-haired question mark.
“Daddy’s gone for a while, but
we’re gonna be fine, mi nena.”
I take her in my arms and we snuggle on the big bed.
© Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Sunday Scribblings (Pleasure), Poetic Bloomings (Begin in a new way), and, as always, Poets United.
Sharp Little Pencil 
Old Egg
What a bitter sweet poem this is. The sadness of the past giving way to a new life with a lucky salamander nodding his approval. Beautifully depicted.
Sharp Little Pencil
Rob, we did have a sneaky little salamander who inhabited our home in PR. Riley loved the little guy and named him/her Eddie. Also, all worms were named Eddie!
Yes, bittersweet, but hopeful, it’s true. Thanks so much, Amy
vivienne Blake
This happy/sad story/poem brought tears to my eyes, so vivid was your scene setting.
Sharp Little Pencil
Viv, I thank you for this. It was indeed a happy/sad time, filled with promise and questions… Amy
vivienne Blake
Amy, I left a comment on this over at Poetic Bloomings.
Sharp Little Pencil
Saw it, and thanks so much! I’ll stop by your blog now…. Peace, Amy
kaykuala
Amy,
A moving verse you have here. Baby will always be there with mama to keep her company. Baby has never failed to cheer all mamas! Beautifully expressed!
Sharp Little Pencil
And even though Baby is now 22 and in LA, we are still “thisclose”! Thanks so much, Hank. Amy
Altonian
Even in adverse situations there is usually some pleasure to be found – especially if children are involved. Charming.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Leigh. She was young enough to accept the explanation, and even for a baby seemed rather relieved. Daddy was having mental problems and would not get help… Thanks, Amy
Jae Rose
Highs and lows trickle through the verses..the little one brings consistency..pleasure to each new day perhaps..i noticed all the heightened senses as well..it goes hand in hand with mood doesn’t it..like an assault or a soother..jae
Sharp Little Pencil
Yes, a bit of both, I think. Riley was such a resilient child, she just went along with whatever happened, thank God! Amy
booguloo
Even through the worst of times you manage a smile with hope. Thank you for your thoughts today.
Sharp Little Pencil
MIchael, I appreciate this comment more than you know. Even when I sometimes had to force the smiles, they were there for Riley’s sake. Not that she was fooled for a minute…! Amy
Daydreamertoo
Awwww sad, bitter sweet, gentle. Lovely.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, and the word “bittersweet” is showing up quite a lot in comments. Must have touched the chord I was going for! Amy
Leif G.S.
Very intense, I have to admit it tugged at this black heart a bit! I like it, you’ve got that subtle darkness down. I would have been a bit more obvious but that’s just me! Thanks for sharing Amy, always look forward to what you write!
Sharp Little Pencil
As do I when I venture to your blog, Matt. Aw, your heart got tugged, that’s a good thing!
As for darkness, it rules a large part of my life, and we’ve talked about my struggle to not let it “get me,” because when it does, I am immobile. Which makes sharpening pencils difficult indeed! Amy
Bodhirose
I know how quickly a laugh can turn into a cry. This is so raw with emotion–pleasure and pain– but also with hope for a better day.
I love this, Amy.
Sharp Little Pencil
Takes one to know one, right? Was hoping to convey a brighter future despite the tears…. thanks so much! Amy
Jess P
This a beautiful piece. The ending is very sweet.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Jess. True story. We moved back to the States shortly after… and I started divorce proceedings. But my hub and Riley’s dad and his new wife are all on good terms, so it turned out OK in the end. Amy
Sherry Blue Sky
Beautiful, Amy. I remember those feelings, and a mother’s reassurance to her kids: we’re going to be fine. And we always are fine, true?
Sharp Little Pencil
Yes, Sherry. We used to have a whole ritual of teddy bear and saying prayers… and we were fine, each in our own way…. Thanks, hon! Amy
Renee Espriu
Beautiful, a bit sad and nostalgic all in one. Touching words.
Sharp Little Pencil
Ah, nostalgic, that’s a great word for this poem. Thank you for your kind comment, Renee. Amy
Nikita Banerjee
Beautifully expressed. 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Thank you, Nikita. I’m coming over to your blog now to see what you’re up to! Amy
MiskMask
This is very special, Amy. Sweet and loving, and tinged with the sadness that we call ‘living life’. Very nice.
Sharp Little Pencil
It was all too real, 20 years ago, when Riley’s father went back to the States. Thank goodness we are on friendly terms again, and Riley is doing well. Thanks so much, Marilyn! Amy
Kim Nelson
Perfect short film in words. You invited me in and let me feel it all. Emotion-packed without manipulation. Real, yet ethereal. Another great one, Amy.
Sharp Little Pencil
A short film… didn’t think of it that way until you said it, Kim. Thank you for stepping over the welcome mat and joining me in this memory. Peace, Amy
Mama Zen
This is beautiful.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Mama! Amy
Mike Patrick
The slow increase and change in emotion, makes for a powerful, visual poem. You leave us a little worried, a little sad, but with strength and hope. It’s a new day.
Sharp Little Pencil
Mike, best assessment of the entire situation so far. And 20 years later, I can truly say, it was the best thing that could have come from my first marriage… its end. Thanks, Amy
christine
Moments of comfort in real hard times.
Sharp Little Pencil
Amen, sister. I can still feel her little arms around my neck, even though she’s 2,000 miles away and 20 years older! Thanks, Amy
Nanka
Your poems always have a soft side and the sharp one too!! Your little pencil is like a magic wand in your hands and you wield it well!! So very natural and could be true to anyone!! 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Ah, Nanka, your comments are always poetry to me. Thank you so much, my friend. Peace, Amy
Grace Walker
Here’s hoping the smiling upon waking brings tears of joy. I’ve been on holiday, but back again and pleased to read your entry!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much, Grace. Do you have a blog address? If so, please send it along. Peace, Amy
Madeleine Begun Kane
Beautiful and emotion-packed!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Madeleine. I’m honored by your words. Amy