TO ALL READERS: Not for the squeamish. I have used another John Rainsford photo (credits below) because one was not enough. Thanks, dverse, for turning us on to an amazingly talented photographer, web designer, and all-around artist.
THE LOOK
He enters my bedroom; 
I raise my eyes slowly
The unspoken message
unsettling, unholy.
Dad went and filled
his Viagra again.
What am I in for?
And how bad? And when?
No use attempting
to pull up the cover.
I wonder if Sue’d mind
another sleepover?
Cause I’m in the crosshairs
and he’s got the gun.
The battle is lost –
I am Dad’s “little one.”
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Photo © John Rainsford, courtesy of dverse poetry.
For dverse Open Mic Night.
Sharp Little Pencil 
poetcolette
You are so courageous.
I will get there.
Thank you, A.
Sharp Little Pencil
We get there when we’re ready. Love, Amy
Debbie
This made me cry, Amy. So well crafted and I know that there are those you are reaching and helping with your poems. Thank you! I just want to have been there and to have kept it from happening . . .
Sharp Little Pencil
Ironically, I would not be the same person if this had not happened to me. Sure, it was hell; yes, I would rather not think about any child – boy or girl – having this happen to them. But my dad’s sickness, as well as my mom’s alcoholism (she knew and self-medicated) made me different from the other kids. Hence, my wacky career, settling in to being a poet. Peace, Amy
Cressida de Nova
Supposedly we are adults here and surely it is a poet’s duty to write about the truth.Fortunately not everyone writes about skipping up the garden path,bruised petals and butterflies. Good for you Amy in addressing this pertinent and disturbing occurence in our society.!
Sharp Little Pencil
Cressida, thanks for visiting and commenting. I know it’s easy to get frustrated with the lighter side of poetry in the blogosphere, but I go easy on the butterfly people. Actually, at times, I am a bit envious. Those who view the world through a lens of nature, balance, and grace are expressing their lives. My life has been many shades of hell, all of which I have worked hard to overcome. The incest, drugs, manic depression… all goes into this, along with some original music and occasional political sarcasm and funny stuff (witness “420”)! But you know? I could use a ladybug now and then! Peace, Amy
jaerose37
What a powerful piece Amy..the combination of words and image so strong..it is a difficult subject matter..and yet you write with much grace..and understanding. The deceptively ‘simple’ style makes it even more compelling..I also feel I am hearing the story through her eyes..her young..but old eyes..Jae
Sharp Little Pencil
I am so pleased with the number of folks like yourself who picked up on the little girl’s voice. I’ve been doing work in therapy with my “little girl” and discovered she has a lot to teach me. Hey, life has tried to break my spirit in a lot of ways, but it’s made me more resilient. I refuse to surrender or be a victim, and I hope others see that in my work and pursue counseling. Dad is not a ball and chain anymore. Thanks, hon. Love, Amy
Chazinator
Terrible. Told with simplicity that is simply horrifying in its directness and meaning. You have captured a horrifying reality that makes my skin crawl. Excellent poem about an experience that deprives so many of peace for the rest of their lives.
Sharp Little Pencil
Chaz, I tell my reality. I appreciate your comments about how I convey it. I know it’s tough readying, but I’m determined to rip the stigma off these types of problems, in hopes that others will join me in getting therapy and reclaiming their lives. Sorry if I creeped you out! Amy
Sherry Blue Sky
Oh, a harsh story, yet sadly, all too familiar. I heard a quote somewhere – maybe in The Color Purple about how the world is not a safe place for girl children.
Sharp Little Pencil
Sounds like the right source, Sherry. Partly, we are taught to be good little girls who don’t complain, etc. (at least my generation was). Partly, if the abuse starts early enough, the child will bury those feelings and walk about with a backpack filled to the brim with self-doubt and shame. And it’s not just girls, but you know that… Peace, Amy
brian miller
yep you just turned my stomach…caught between crying and throwing up
Sharp Little Pencil
Dear Brian, you are so sympathetic, but your way of expressing it, I could not stifle a smile. You get it, every time, and I know your comment was sincere, but I still had to (wink) at your delivery. I’ll keep writing about all these subjects until they tell me I can’t be trusted around sharp little pencils.
Then I will start writing in crayon! Peace, Amy
El Guapo
Holy crap.
Incredibly powerful in its brevity.
Sharp Little Pencil
Hey, handsome (translation of el guapo)!
Thanks for an honest response. The “holy crap” comments are valued because they are spontaneous, honest, and no-holds-barred. I’m certainly glad you connected with the poem… peace, Amy
Buddah Moskowitz (@ihatepoetry)
Wow. Technique-wise: I like that you used rhyming verse, mush as a little child thinks is poetry. Content-wise: it’s powerful. You’re an inspiration, Ameleh, love from your brudda from anudda mudda.
Roger Green
Those father-daughter pledge of virginity events always creeped me out.
Sharp Little Pencil
I so agree, Rog. The initimacy promise to a father by a daughter, eeeew. Thanks, Amy
macheide
The jagged cruelty of the image spread over the simple innocence of rhyme reminds me of some holocaust poetry I’ve read, where poetry manages to touch a hurting heart in the lowest corners of any other’s hell.
No curse can match the millstone the perpetrators tie to their own necks. Ditto those who laugh with them, who look the other way, who excuse their corruption.
The jagged cruelty of the image spread over the simple innocence of rhyme reminds me of some holocaust poetry I’ve read, where poetry manages to touch heart in the lowest corners of any hell.
No curse can match the millstone they tie to their own necks. Ditto those who laugh with them, who look the other way, who excuse their corruption.
But may the victim find the stolen childhood, together with healing and peace.
Thank you for the courage it takes your voice. But may each victim find the stolen childhood, together with healing and peace.
Thank you for the courage it takes your voice.
macheide
The jagged cruelty of the image spread over the simple innocence of rhyme reminds me of some holocaust poetry I’ve read, where poetry manages to touch a hurting heart in the lowest corners of any hell.
No curse can match the millstone the perpetrators tie to their own necks. Ditto those who laugh with them, who look the other way, who excuse their corruption.
But may the victim find their stolen childhood, together with healing and peace.
Thank you for the courage it takes your voice to speak this.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Macheide. It wasn’t always so easy to speak out; in fact, I didn’t sort things out until I was 40. But with help from God and a lot of therapy, I’ve made peace with it. One cannot simply say, “It happened, but I forgive him.” It takes a helluva lot of work, and I’m glad I can call myself a survivor, not a victim. Peace, Amy
Steve King
This is tough stuff Amy. I don’t know how you managed to compress this into verse, but you did. You leave me speechless. I don’t know what to say beyond that.
Steve
Sharp Little Pencil
Steve, as long as you understand, I don’t need words from you. Thank you so much. Peace, Amy
scrappygrams
It’s so tragic that this continues to happen.
Sharp Little Pencil
You’re right. Speaking out, especially survivors speaking out, unafraid of what family members will think, helps to erase the stigma. So many women and men carrying unearned guilt around (did I tempt him? At age SIX? What the hell is that? But it’s real). I speak for thousands who are unable to find their voices. If one person reads my blog and can find her or his voice, I’ve done my job. PEace, Amy
oldegg
She has got to get to Sue’s and tell Sue’s mother while she is there. The picture was stunning. This is most powerfully written with the breathless voice of a child.
Sharp Little Pencil
Robin, I had to “go back there.” But the image triggered that feeling of the girl’s helplessness, and I so identified with that, there was no turning back. This had to be written, you know? Love, Amy
Semaphore / S. Peralta
Painful, especially with the first-person point of view.
Sharp Little Pencil
Sam, I used to write in third person about my experiences. Ironic that a third-person picture should inspire one of my first, absolutely true and personal, accounts of the incest in my family. Thanks. AMy
purplepeninportland
That was chilling!
Sharp Little Pencil
PIP, although many were unsettled by this, it’s worth the feeling to realize how widespread this phenomenon is in our society… Thanks, hon. Amy
Renee Espriu
The understanding of life is a difficult one, especially if in the understanding you were a particpant. Well written.
Sharp Little Pencil
Renee, I could not have stated the conundrum better myself. Thank you for your always understanding my scribbles… Love, Amy
Lindy Lee
Writing so good it’s unsettling…
Sharp Little Pencil
Wow, LIndy, that is a powerful statement. I surely appreciate your comment on this, a most difficult post. Peace, Amy
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