Pity Party Marathon
Feels like forever, this situation.
So sure that she is unappreciated.
Confronting the conundrum:
Is it they who take advantage,
or she who is the doormat?
Their insensitivity,
or her need for deeds to be noticed?
Are they stoking the fire,
or has she tied herself to the stake,
begging for matches?
Martyrdom is a foolish pursuit,
one that drag on a lifetime.
Yet she, as fools do, faces it; embraces it,
forgetting Dolly Parton’s immortal words:
“Get off the cross, honey, we need the wood.”
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Self-esteem is a struggle for so many women, myself included. Hard to know when it’s a valid complaint or too much navel-gazing. For Sunday Scribblings, where the prompt is “Marathon,” as well as at my poetic hangout (where all the outcasts who created the real stuff stuck together in high school), Poets United. Proud to be a member!
Sharp Little Pencil 
Debbie
Good stuff, Amy, poem-wise and content-wise. I know just what you mean!
Sharp Little Pencil
Deb, we’ve all been there, I know! Love, Amy
M.A.S.
I love “Martyrdom is a foolish pursuit.”
I also love the Dolly Parton quote. Never thought of putting something like that into a poem.
On a grammatical note, possible missing ‘s’ in line 12. Sorry, but I’d want you to tell me if you noticed something like that in a poem of mine.
Mike
Sharp Little Pencil
Mike, I am immensely grateful when folks point out errors in my posts. I would not ask for constructive comment if I didn’t mean it. Sad: Have worked as a copy editor! And yes, “Martyrdom is a foolish pursuit.” Who wants to work at being pitied? Plenty of people I know, actually! This is not autobiographical, and could not resist adding Dolly’s opinion! Soon – Amy
Misky
This is a very insightful piece; enjoyed it thoroughly. Didn’t know that it was Dolly who said that – fab line!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, M. You have to read her autobiography – she writes like she talks, and that’s a rare quality. Don’t believe she had a ghost writer to “pretty things up,” perhaps to organize. It’s really worth a trip to the library! Peace, Amy
Jae Rose
I’ve never heard that Dolly Parton line..it is brilliant..I guess every martyr requires a worshipper and that is where the cycle perpetuates itself..bold, confident writing to be proud of..Jae
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Jae. I’m not the martyr type but know plenty who are. It’s easy enough of a role to take on… just say, “It’s all my parents’ fault,” and go on Dr. Phil, ha ha ha. Appreciate your kind words. Love, A
Raven
Amy, I am not really sure if this problem when thought of as “naval gazing” is that or not. I had this problem from the time I was about 21 – 27. There were a litany of excellent reasons for a lack of self esteem within my life. Nothing took me out of myself until I found a relationship with God. I was very stuck. Good piece.
Sharp Little Pencil
Raven, I too took a lot of time to figure out the lack of self-esteem, but once I worked at it, it all fell into place. I’m trying to address those who are stuck and nudge them to seek help, but I sure wasn’t very sympathetic, what with the Dolly quote and all. I know folks who are past my age and still lighting candles on the cake for their pity parties… a shame, a waste. Thanks for your point of view, Raven, I really appreciate it. Peace, Amy
Raven
You are right my dear! It is a terrible waste. And one of the biggest problems (I think) is that no one else can help, or nudge or assist one in getting out of themselves, it is a horrible place to be and I cannot imaging being there as an adult (a real adult). I admire you and your persistence! I really do. (((hugs)))
brian miller
it is a struggle for many people…i think we all want our deeds to be noticed on some level or just us to be noticed…to acknowledge our existence…and the systems of our world perpetuate the feeling…
Sharp Little Pencil
I was Lack of Self Esteem Queen for years, but after a while you have to tackle what the problem is. It takes determination, guts. And for women, who are also cursed with magazine covers, it’s easy to just give up. Thanks for the man’s point of view, Brian. Amy
tashtoo
All the proof I needed to know I’m not alone…hopping of the cross now! Loved this!
Sharp Little Pencil
Tashtoo, you are anything BUT alone. And you always have survivors like me to bounce ideas off of. Best thing: Therapy. Sliding scale practitioners all over the place. You can’t usually hop off and that’s it. Dig deep, and good luck! Glad you like the Dolly line… Love, Amy
Lafemmeroar
I love this!
Sharp Little Pencil
So glad you love it and are tweeting it, because I burned out of Twitter a long time ago… Appreciate your help! Peace, Amy
Lafemmeroar
Tweeting it!
Sharp Little Pencil
You and Tweety Bird have my vote. Thanks!
booguloo
That’s a good one and Dolly’s quote is a real eye opener.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Michael. Read it in her autobiography, which reads just like she speaks. A worthwhile book, even if you’re not a fan of hers, you will come to admire the woman. Amy
oldegg
When you are young there are no boundaries to your imagination, experimentation, stupidity, insensitivity and passion. Must be something to do with hormones or just plain rebelliousness. Self esteem is also a problem with male youth too especially if you have a puny body and lack the gift of the gab. All things will pass (hopefully) before too much damage is done. You have an uncanny knack of homing in to the most sensitive areas of our lives. Keep it up.
Sharp Little Pencil
Robin, yes, lots of my guy friends suffered, espec. in high school, where they were bullied for being on the school paper instead of on the football field. One kid took steroids (this was in the 70s), bulked up and became a champion welterweight wrestler. Wonder how his health turned out, though… Good points, and thanks! Peace, Amy
Deborah ~ Westlander Poetry
interesting take on the prompt … love how you looked at it from both sides!
Sharp Little Pencil
Ah, “both sides now,” very Joni. But yes, that quality comes from years of therapy. Role playing, seeing myself through the eyes of others… second nature by now. Thanks for stopping by, Deborah! Amy
Renee Espriu
One of my favorite quotes indeed! Yet, sometimes I think someone else is directing it at me…usually when I’m stressed and tired. LOL 😉 Good excuse…don’t you think?!?
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s usually said about me behind my back, methinks… although I do have it coming, I wish they’d say it TO me! Ha ha, we’re all martyrs at one time or another, and yes, tired is a GREAT excuse! Amy
scrappygrams
so glad to be past that attitude; it saps a being
your “name” Sharp Little Pencil is so apt!
Sharp Little Pencil
Scrappy, yes, getting past it is so refreshing. A weight being lifted off your back, a ball and chain loosed from your ankle. And thanks for the mention of the name. Came to me when I was compulsively sharpening my little fellas that live by my bed, in the bathroom, and in the bottom of my purse! AMy