Pelo Malo/Pelo Magnifico*
Keesha fiddles with the beads in her hair.
This bugs her mom, who carefully combed
and applied conditioner and spent
quite some time braiding her daughter’s do.
“Mommy, why don’t I have hair like yours,
blonde and straight? Why is mine all kinky
and hard to do stuff with, like the beads?
I want hair like yours, why can’t I have it?”
“Keesha, honey, part of being adopted, the
really cool part, is that we don’t have to look alike
to be family. Just like Maya is from Japan and
has coarse, straight black hair and I’m blonde.”
“But MomMaya says her hair is… well, I heard
her say it’s ‘bloody awful’ to take care of, too.
You’re lucky.” Mom wraps her in a tender hug and
says, “I am, but it’s got nothing to do with my hair.”
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Three Word Wednesday, “Bloody, Kinky, Tender”
*PROCESS NOTES: When I lived in Puerto Rico, stylists referred to African hair as “pelo malo,” literally “bad hair.” I asked them why; they replied it is difficult to work with, especially with extensions. I was embarrassed to consider the notion of “bad hair.” I cannot look at a picture of Angela Davis or Billy Preston, with their tremendous Afros, and see anything but beauty. Beaded, natural, extended, even straightened (hey, it’s all about personal choice)… it’s all “pelo magnifico” to me, because it’s the hair our worldwide population started with, deep in the valleys of the Tigris-Euphrates.
Sharp Little Pencil 
Kim Nelson
As lovely as a piece can be. You took the prompt to a different plane, Amy. I, of course, am not the least bit surprised. Masterful.
Sharp Little Pencil
Wow, Kim, wow. Thanks so much for this. The word “kink” started it off, and I had just had a conversation with a girlfriend about the differences in our daughters’ hair, the upkeep. Someday I will write about Irish-Jewish fine curls!! Amy
Renee Espriu
Families are where one ‘is’ in a group of people holding love in their hearts for one another and they are all very different. The man I was married to was fair, red haired and blue eyed and we had a son that is very fair, blond and blue eyed who people find hard to believe is my son and yet my daughter who is olive skinned, with dark hair and brown eyes gets looks when she is with her father. Diversity in everything is what makes life worth living. Thank You for this post.
Sharp Little Pencil
Renee, wish you could see our church. Kids from all around the world, people hailing from Japan, Kenya, Ghana, all over the Americas… and you know? My mom had brown eyes, my dad blue. Two older sisters, both blonde hair, blue eyes, and then, as they say, “Sometimes they spit out a dark one…” I’m from Mom’s Black Irish side of the family! So all her grandkids except Riley were blonde and blue or hazel eyes. Riley? Brown hair and eyes like Hershey kisses. Funny when the cousins get together… I understand completely! A
andysewina
Clever message!
Here’s one for you: Experiment
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Andy, and BLESS YOU for leaving a URL link. I’m coming right over! Amy
oldegg
What a touching piece Amy. It is so hard to see our own beauty. Impossible when you get to my age regardless of the hair!
Sharp Little Pencil
Robin, you are as beautiful as you act, as you write, as you believe, as you love. I and think that makes you exquisite. Who else could weave stories as fanciful and delightful as yours? I’m a Grey Panther, baby, I’m just gettin’ better! Age is a number… and so am I!! Love, Amy
Lindy Lee
Happy message in this writing…
Sheilagh Lee
My great niece has beautiful hair and like this woman her mother’s (my niece’s)hair is blonde while my GN’s is “Pelo Magnifico”.I love the way this mother explained it.
Sharp Little Pencil
This is an amalgam of many moms’ comments to me about how they have explained differences. My own daughter, whose natural father is Jewish, used to ask, “Why do we have different skins?” because she tanned like a nut in the summer. I told her that was her “desert people” heritage showing, and she should be proud of it!
Sharp Little Pencil
Lindy, I know so many people from all over the world, and I was so mad I could’ve spit when I heard that expression. Racist, yuck. So yeah, happy is good! Amy
Inside the Mind of Isadora
This is super Amer. You are right on target with the pelo malo. I was the recipient of it. I can atest to it. I am one of those victims. Well, in my world anyway. Great story. Touches the heart. I love it.
good job girlfriend ….
Izzy xoxo
Sharp Little Pencil
Oh, Izzy, yes, my daughter has combo WASP and Jewish parentage, and her hair was fine like mine and slightly curly like her dad’s. All the conditioner in the WORLD could not tame it, and she wore braids at night! Love you, girl Amer
Inside the Mind of Isadora
~~ : – )
Jae Rose
What a wonderful way to tell this story..I can picture the mom and child sitting together doing their hair..coming together over the little things in life which bring us closer together..Jae
Sharp Little Pencil
Lord, the hours I spent on my Irishish Jewishish little girl and her long, flowing tangles. We had some of our best talks as she lay against me playing with the bottle of spray-on conditioner! Thanks, Jae. Amy
Paige
adorable little girl. i still maintain God knew & knows what he is doing, and
african american hair is beautiful despite the brainwashing to the opposite.
braiding the hair helps all hair to grow if you condition – baby oil will do
and treat hair gently, many white women i work with have had their hair
damaged from excessive blow drying. black woman should avoid puetro
ricans and dominican hair stylist – essentially they rape african american
hair to make it lie flat –
blackgirllonghair.blogspot is a wonderful site.
Sharp Little Pencil
Paige, I love your POV. It’s true, as I mentioned to someone else… remember Denzel’s portrayal of Malcolm X, the lye that scalded the scalp, all in favor of “better” hair? And societal pressure never helped. I’ve worked in places where women of color with natural hair, or fros, or whatever, were passed over for promotions because their appearance didn’t “fit” the perception of acceptable hair by the board… aaargh. I’ll check the site, and thanks. Peace, and here’s to us all letting our freak flags fly! Amy
scrappygrams
love this! hurrah for diversity!
Sharp Little Pencil
Amen, Scrappy! Amy
icyhighs
Well…blondes do have all the fun…
Sharp Little Pencil
I beg to differ, says the Black Irish girl with brown hair and brown eyes. Besides, most of the blondes I know aren’t really blondes!! Thanks, hon. Amy
Di Eats the Elephant
I will offer one critique. I’m not sure the mother would have referred to her Japanese daughter’s hair as “coarse” but simply said “straight black hair.” I also have never found Japanese hair to feel coarse, so found it an odd word on a personal level as well, but assume you have done your research and that hair stylists or hair books or such would call it coarse. I could fathom calling it “thick” or “silky” in addition to straight and black. Just a thought. I lived in Japan for 3 years. Beautiful piece about the differences that children must feel, especially those adopted who face them daily. Not sure that they will understand how truly blessed their mother feels until they have children of their own to love. Envy the mother…wish her wise insights to help her children cope with different perspectives. Thanks for the beautiful explanation at the end as well. I totally agree.
Sharp Little Pencil
Di, thank you. Sometimes it’s one poorly chosen word that can be the fly in the ointment. I was thinking of a Japanese Canadian friend of mine who described her hair as coarse… but that could have been her perspective speaking. And yes, “silky” would have been a nice choice. Did you take note that Maya was the other mom, not a child? Tri-racial family. Thanks very much for the critique, I’m grateful you said what you did! Peace, Amy
Larry
everybody is beautiful…thanks for pointing that out.
Sharp Little Pencil
Larry, you know it. Inside and out! Amy
Tracy Crenshaw
Beautiful poem. I love the relationship between the mother and child. So sweet, and so skillfully written.
Check out mine: Tender Intertwining athttp://thesesillywordsofmine.blogspot.com/2012/04/tender-intertwining.html
Sharp Little Pencil
Tracy, again, THANKS for leaving a specific link! I appreciate the thoughtful comment, and I’ll see you on your site of the b’sphere! Amy
vidyatiru
what do I say – except – totally wonderful piece, loved the last line!!!