Fortress in Mind
Secrecy was her secret to survival.
She forgot what happened because
no one talked about it.
Not even her sisters.
She cultivated a rabbit-proof fence
of quietude and dreams,
tracing images in the gritty grain of
their plaster bedroom ceiling.
Why did she only find scared faces?
Grew up in denim armor,
ensuring no boy wanted to date
the girl in the high-top Keds with
“Don’t touch” scrawled in acne.
Landed in Manhattan and
took on a new façade: Approachable.
This, too, was a wall; after all, she’d
“lost it” so long ago, it mattered little
who used her
or when
or where
or how.
All this took place inside
an elaborate labyrinth of hedgerows,
within the castle she had
built in her mind.
The only person who swam in the moat
was her father, he having the privilege
of power, which he exercised unwisely,
unkindly. Unrepentant and unchallenged.
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Sunday Scribblings, the prompt was “fortress.” Also at my poetic fortress, Poets United.
Sharp Little Pencil 
vivinfrance
Phew! This poem sure is powerful – and sad.
Sharp Little Pencil
You bet, Viv. Thanks, Amy
penny mckenzie
A painful read Amy, pen x
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for commenting, Penny, despite the difficult reaction, which I understand and almost expect… Peace, Amy
leesis
Amy I can’t click on like…I don’t like it…because I understand it…and hate it…for all us. Nevertheless so well written. I would like to share with you that before your poetry the only poet I’ve ever felt moved by is Emily DIckinson. You are such an outstanding writer.
with love…Leesa
Sharp Little Pencil
Leesa, I’m speechless. I’m happy that my poetry moves you, but humbled by your assessment of my work. All I can say is, I love your work as well, and that I hope you feel as buoyed by support from other poets as I do. The kindest compliment I’ve ever received. Thank you, and peace, Amy
jcosmonewbery
A thoughtful poem. Left me a little sad.
Sharp Little Pencil
Cosmo, in a way, I’m glad it left you sad, since it’s the story of my childhood and that left me scarred for years. Yet, if it hadn’t happened, who knows what kind of Mary Normal Stepford I might have become? You know? Amy
Jae Rose
Powerful words Amy..the idea that the fortress exists whether ‘you’ are open to people or in a suit of denim armour resonates..when you are in the castle though you can flood or drain the moat..drown or run aground the father circling in the water..(or set your soldiers upon him) Jae
Sharp Little Pencil
All these are possible, so true… except that, being a pacifist, I can’t order anyone to trample the S.O.B.!!! (Gallows humor, I know…) Thanks, Jae. Love, Amy
El Guapo
Painful and beautiful.
It feels like it should be the start of a series of poems.
Sharp Little Pencil
Guapo, it’s actually a continuation of a series. Will email you the very first poem I ever wrote. Peace, Amy
Paige
death by a thousand cuts…and the soul slips away. this poem is sooooo good
and i know so true, for i have worked with many young girls who are hidden
in their own minds for survival.
Sharp Little Pencil
If only for the fact that my mother refused to allow me to get counseling, I might have benefited from your work, Paige. God bless you for listening to young girls! And if any of my tamer poems helps them open up, please pass them on. Thanks so much, Amy
Kim Nelson
As is always your mien, you handle this with dignity and grace, Amy. Understandable through nuance, this poem is a character analysis of sorts and helps the reader to understand the adult behaviors of one victimized as a child. Nicely put together.
Sharp Little Pencil
Kim, thanks so much for this. The nuances aren’t easy when the wound is so deep the bone is showing… but I’ve grown stronger the more I share this cycle of my life, this time which I lived not only through, but past. I forgave, but I never will forget… at least it doesn’t control me now. Thanks, hon. Amy
Sarav
A beautiful poem about a very painful subject
Here’s my water poem for the day
http://saravinas.blogspot.com/2012/06/not-what-she-sea-ms.html?spref=tw
Sharp Little Pencil
Sara, I reread my poems before tackling comments and am sometimes almost horrified at what I’ve been through! I look forward to reading yours, because your work sings… Peace, Amy
Debbie
Amy, you once again have written in that special way about a hard topic, making it easier for others out there to let someone in, someone know . . . .and healing to begin. Thank you. And, would you mind if sometime I shared a link to here over at Jessie Carty’s blog on Fridays? She does a poem share then. 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for this, Debbie. You have such an understanding heart. And yes, please, if you care to share a link of mine anywhere, great and thanks! I’m only seven poems behind on catching up with responses, so I appreciate your generosity! Love, Amy
RJ Clarken
Wow – such a sad poem. It’s beautiful, but in reading it, I find it hard to breathe. Amy – you have an amazing way with words.
Sharp Little Pencil
Randi, hon, I’ve found my voice after all these years… not the one that shouts “F. you” at Dad, but the voice that says, it happened, you are OK, the whole thing is in a bubble “over there.” I occasionally take a long look at that sick little ornament on the dead branch and write from it. Thanks, hon. Amy
Flying Monkey
Great writing – powerful and painful.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for flying by, Monkey, and I shall alight on your blog soon, too. Appreciate the comments, they were really felt on my end of the blogosphere. Amy
kaykuala
Amy,
Powerful and poignant. We grit our teeth knowing a lot of injustice has been done. More often than not the perpetrators are known to the ‘victim’. But you made it easy to write on something that is difficult. Great write,Ma’am!
Hank
Sharp Little Pencil
Hank, it was once very difficult to write on this subject, but the more therapy and meditation I’ve done, the easier it is to express what to some may seem better left unexpressed… especially my family (of course). I really appreciate your comments. Peace, Amy
Lance
poignant, painful, and powerful
You told me a heartbreaking story in very vivid words.
Sharp Little Pencil
Lance, the saddest part is the truth at the heart of it. Thanks for understanding. Amy
Sherry Blue Sky
As always you write this so real, Amy. A painful topic. The world is not a safe place for girl children. I especially noted the sad faces on the ceiling…..the armor…the labyrinth of hedgerows…….so well done, kiddo. So sad that it happens.
Sharp Little Pencil
Sherry, somehow I knew you would “get” those ceiling faces. It’s details like these that help me anchor myself in the sad reality of those days. I wish all little girls – and boys – were safe, always. Believe me, I “vetted” Lex before I married him, and he was the perfect stepdad, always appropriate. You know. Love, Amy