Houseguest Pest
Jake, old friend, relic of a rake,
dropped in and occupied our couch
to catch off-Broadway plays
during our Manhattan days.
Friend of my folks, fan of my mom’s music,
I inherited him along with
scrapbooks my sisters didn’t want
and the extra odd silver that didn’t match.
Always fun visits at first, but then
there was the eventual price we’d pay
for his monthly long-weekend stay.
Did I mention his death-rattle breath?
He never picked up the tab, even for coffee.
His girth shattered a rung on my prized
rocking chair inherited from Jeffery and
seriously challenged the shocks on my Fiat.
Boy, oy, ready the clothespins for the kicker:
He never got over living in postwar Germany.
Or maybe he was simply too damned cheap
to buy soap and shampoo. Eeeeeeew.
My olfactory senses may never recover
from Eau du Jake, the scent that made
neighbors complain. If he’d actually smelled
like fish, it might have been an improvement.
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Trifecta, which asked us to recount our personal Monty Wooleys – guests who overstay their welcome and begin to “smell like fish,” literally or figuratively!
Sharp Little Pencil 
El Guapo
Great! I’m almost afraid to ask – is this a true story?
Lance
if we ever put a rock band together, Death Rattle Breath should be our first single
excellent
judithhb
True r not it makes a good entry for the challenge.
jannatwrites
Oh my goodness! It would be tempting to move and provide no forwarding address. I hope this is fiction, but it feels like it could actually be true…so sorry if it is 🙂
Madeleine Begun Kane
Yikes. That’s really good, albeit disturbing. 🙂
SaraV
Ben Franklin would have loved you:-) I love how you tied the relative inheritance with the scrapbooks and odd silver. Well crafted as usual!
Jae Rose
Some people are heavy and unwanted..even if not literally large..the idea of inheriting someone and feeling dutiful towards them is so well portrayed..it’s strange how some family members seem to adopt this role..and others don’t..Jae (ps hope the apocalypse is moving on)
Polly Robinson
ah ‘relic of a rake’ – it is sad when they reach the old roue stage … hey-ho – good poem
ihatepoetry
A pungent write – and dear Ameleh, you’re nominated for an Inspirational blogger award! YAY! http://ihatepoetry.blogspot.com/2012/07/very-inspirational-blogger-award.html
kaykuala
Some odd fellas sure exceeded their welcome. A house guest for one day is most welcomed, 2 days, it’s tolerable, 3 days it gets unsettling, 4 days it invited nasty hints from the host. However it has to be done with compassion. For those unfortunate to be deprived in old age need that extra attention. There may be reasons. Nice take Amy!
Hank
Renee Espriu
There are some guests we would all rather not have. LOL