OCD (Overwhelming Crucial Demands)
Rituals ruled his life
Tapping the front window four times when passing
Adjusting his chair twice after sitting down
Most noticeable at table, where his mother
would fret over her son’s obsession
Each bit chewed exactly 18 times
and finishing first the meat, then potatoes, and finally
vegetables – no portion touching the next
as his dish was divided into three compartments
Followed by a milk in his blue glass
swallowed in five long, perfectly even gulps
Napkin folded into a perfect triangle threading it through
a silver ring placed just so on the table
Brooks arranged first by genre, then by author,
then by color – spines aligned in precise rows
He measure boundaries for his daily routine;
I understand the gravity of crack avoided
One thousand, two hundred and eighty-nine
steps to the psychiatrist’s office downtown.
Unfortunately, he never opened the door,
lacking a Kleenex to ward off germs
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For Sunday Scribblings, “I Understand” was the prompt. Yeah, ya think?
Kids are cruel, and peers pick out students like this boy to bully, an easy target. While OCD is a minor part of my chemical imbalance, it loomed large when I was younger. One example: If I misspelled a word in English class, I first was compelled to complete writing it in full, and then, with a calm sweep, I would erase the entire word… but finishing it was critical. There were fingerprints by the exit to our bedroom from my habitual taps, and grazing a fence with a stick, if I missed a picket, it meant going back and starting the whole fence again. I get this kid because I was this kid, but the symptoms abated when manic depression started to take over. One pain in the ass replaced by another is small comfort.
Notice these traits and show understanding to the “different ones,” those who may not be diagnosed but whose disorders are easily recognizable. Good example, if you see a “twirler” who eventually singles out one hair to pluck, be aware. It’s called trichotillomania and can be managed NOT by drugs, but by behavior modification.
Peace and health – physical and mental, Amy
Sharp Little Pencil 
seingraham
An excellent write Amy … you have certainly lived an interesting mental health life, haven’t you? Good on you for speaking up about so many different disorders and on behalf of the silent ones …
Sharp Little Pencil
Sharon, I’m a NAMI Stigma Buster. Even though this extreme of OCD is not mine, I am all about shining the light on the difficulties people have living with mental disorders, as well as their triumphs. I keep imagining he’ll come back with a latex glove so he can open the door next time. A
Roger Green
Very descriptive insight into lives of people we don’t “see”.
Sharp Little Pencil
Ah, yes, Roger. Those people don’t see because we who have all these mental disorders work so damned hard to cover them, to “fit in.” I finally made the decision to “come out” (yes, quite like LGBTs come out) and talk openly about my illnesses, and I have had nothing but acceptance here in Madison. Thanks, Rog, and thx also for sneaking me into ABC!
vivinfrance
Amy you yourself show so much understanding – a shining example to us.
typo, Brooks for Books.
Sharp Little Pencil
Dear Viv, I thank you for your critique note. Makes all the difference when we help each other in that way. As for “shining,” perhaps “flickering” some days!! Love, Amy
Debbie
I love your poem and your compassionate heart. Once we’ve lived through or with someone “differently” abled, it certainly alerts us to others with different abilities too. God bless you!
kaykuala
Somehow the unfortunates and deprived are often neglected or abhorred. The mentally challenged are the worst off. Kind souls like you, opened doors for them . Great write Amy!
oldegg
There is so much hurt in the world and yet we are hell bent on making more. Love and understanding just don’t seem to be enough anymore. Thank heaven’s you are shouting out for me too.
Sharp Little Pencil
Deb, Hank, and Robin, thank you for your understanding and support. My hope is that someday we will be rid of the stigma… but I think that, once gays and lesbians and transgender people become more accepted, we, the mentally ill, will be the next “drain on society” for the moneyed and the spoiled…
on thehomefrontandbeyond
this probably did a lot of good – getting the word out is so valuable- this was a great post
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks and welcome, Homey! If you go through my posts, you’ll find a lot of mental illness material because of my own manic depression and PTSD and etc. etc. I’m a member of NAMI Stigma Busters, so I’m all about being open on my stuff. This happens to be someone I know… but I do have certain OCD traits! Peace, Amy
on thehomefrontandbeyond
I had a very good friend who suffered from bipolar and she made me understand things I had not understood before – I have dealt with things in the past too — so Stigma Busters sounds like such a great thing because everyone needs to understand
(I like the Homey salutation)
Lance
I was diagnosed with acute anxiety aka social anxiety disorder at 16. There’s nothing quite like being called “crazy” when you’re a teenager and the people calling you that having medical evidence.
wonderful writing
Sharp Little Pencil
Lance, I was clinically depressed all through school but my parents refused counseling, probably because they feared the Daddy thing would be exposed. I was always “weird” in school (it’s all over my yearbook!) but I was mostly “fun” weird, so I got away with it. Did not know I was Manic/D until age 50. In a way, it’s easier NOT to know, or for parents to say it’s a vitamin instead of a med… but you know, it has made you a good writer and man, so there you go! Love, Amy
Lance
i agree and thanks for the compliment. our self awareness is a damn superpower
tigerbrite
So well explained. What a wealth of experience you have overcome Amy. Your purpose to explain it to others. My mother was a hair twirler and obsessive at counting things, it never occured to me it was strange behaviour 😦
Sharp Little Pencil
Tigger mine, I also know people, particularly women, who twirl to “sort” the hair that doesn’t “belong” and pluck it. That’s why I put up the TLC website link. Your mom was probably mildly somethingorother… but obviously not on the heavy side of her imbalance. Thanks, hon. Amy
Sarav
Hi Amy! Yes, we all have our little obsessions and we need to be much more accepting. Thank you for being that voice, that reminds us that patience and acceptance is the higher ground ❤
Sharp Little Pencil
Sara, you are one who understands that “higher ground” is where it’s at! Some of us have slight peccadilloes; others have a true imbalance that is socially awkward and embarrassing… but only because people are so insensitive and judgmental.
Jae Rose
However old..no matter how your problems evolve..getting thought the door is vital..if only it was held open every now and again..Jae x
Sharp Little Pencil
…and, if you have OCD, either a latex glove or a paper towel to grab the handle, right? The irony. Thx, Jae!
ohcgd
wow, this was written wonderfully and I really appreciate the topic. I still tend to assign number values to street signs, telephone poles, etc when in a car. It made me good in math 🙂
…btw..there are 34 words, two commas, two periods and one smiley face in my response
Sharp Little Pencil
See, you really get it, ha ha. Welcome to my world! Amy
lmkazmierczak
I have heard of trichotillomania…my mother in law seemed to exhibit it to some degree and my1st born son definitely continues with the trait…He knows it and embraces it….keep on telling it like it is♫♪
totomai
wow. must be a tough situation for him. but i know he can manage everything that may come his way