She lives in the past
Her head in the ‘coulds’
Gable scarfed cat food
Wait, here comes… feed-back
Mornings With Mom
Gin bottles rinsed out
Time to wake her up
Tentative taps on
her closed door
Soon she will emerge
hands, shaking and cold
Wrap them ‘round the mug
Warmth stops shakes
Caffeine soothes her pain
All Lunes © 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Three-quarters of the way through April’s Poem a Day for National Poetry Writing Month! Today, Grace (AKA Heaven) of Imaginary Garden With Real Toads asked for “lunes.” I chose the Kelly Lune form, an American haiku form based on syllables (one line of five, one line of three, last line of five; in a single stanza or multiples of same). The Collum Lune is based on number of words: Three, Five, Three; however, that form is for another day!
Thanks, Grace, for another lovely prompt from the Garden. Peace, Amy
April 21, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Like, esp the first. ‘Could’ is a common disease.
April 21, 2013 at 7:41 pm
Hindsight is good if we can turn that “could” to “can” ~ The second is funny, and the third weaving lunes portrayed the grim reality of dealing with a mother suffering from pain or challenges ~ It must have been tough on the children ~
Thanks for participating in RT Sunday Challenge ~
Sherry Blue Sky
April 21, 2013 at 7:50 pm
I love these, especially the “could’s”.
April 21, 2013 at 8:12 pm
My favourite is the first with the line “Her head in the ‘coulds”, the second is cute, and the third serries – a sad story of a child’s challenge with Mum’s addiction,,, enjoyed them all
Sharp Little Pencil
April 23, 2013 at 6:28 pm
TO ALL WHO COMMENTED: Thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, I coined “feedback’ (usually a musician’s term for mic squeals) when my friend Carolyn’s cat Spotty barfed on the rug. It’s funnier if you say it in a cat voice.
And could actually resulted from my oft-typed mistake, “cloud,” and boy, did it work. Accident or happenstance: Film at 11! AMY
April 21, 2013 at 8:25 pm
sad girl her head in the “could’s” ..well done.
April 21, 2013 at 8:31 pm
I was going to comment on the same phrase that Truedessa mentioned. “Head in the coulds” takes my breath away.
April 21, 2013 at 9:25 pm
You do wonders with this form, but I especially identify with “feedback.”
April 21, 2013 at 9:51 pm
All three … simply amazing! Mary is right ~ ‘head in the coulds’ blew me away.
April 22, 2013 at 12:39 am
Big smiles at the first two. The Mornings with Mum one shows your caring nature.
Susie Clevenger (@wingsobutterfly)
April 22, 2013 at 12:40 am
Her head in the “coulds”….I love that. All of your pieces are great!
April 22, 2013 at 2:24 am
Wow Amers! Impressed! Another form 😉 x
Madeleine Begun Kane
April 22, 2013 at 3:35 am
These are all so wonderful — you say so much, so concisely!
April 22, 2013 at 5:22 am
I laughed out loud to the cat food feed back!
April 22, 2013 at 9:09 am
I have had my head in the coulds, but lately shoulds…
I enjoyed your prompt…cat food, lo
I agree your Lunes rock ;D
April 22, 2013 at 9:43 am
Each of your poems offers the reader a singular experience. I enjoyed these very much.
April 22, 2013 at 9:44 am
Wonderful lunes! It’s a whiff of freshness from the usual haiku that we’ve been having! Brilliant call Amy!
April 22, 2013 at 4:37 pm
Amy, loving your lunes!! Made me laugh out loud with the “feed-back!”
I HAVE A VOICE
April 22, 2013 at 7:40 pm
Better than Kelly! excellent !
April 25, 2013 at 6:23 am
These are wonderful. I laughed at the second, been there. The first captures what so many of us do to ourselves. The third I undertsand too well. These are well done with twists and humor and truth.