Before we begin, you must pardon certain bits of “flavor” in today’s poem, for it was written to the theme of “incorporate the punchline of your favorite joke into a poem” for Poetic Bloomings (and you must remember I had a long career in theater and cabarets, so the humor was rather salty), but I also used some rather unsavory words from The Sunday Whirl, including “Spit,” “Pulsing,” and… well, you’ll see! Also at my favorite poetic salon, Poets United (going on three years of membership!).
If you are faint of heart or faint over mild vulgarity, best you skip this one. (wink) Amy
To the Manor Born
They number in the thousands,
with up-front titles such as
The Duke of Whodidwhatshire and
Lady Fluffingsham, that sound like
they pee chicken soup, their spit is
a blessing, and their hearty red
corpuscles could run pulsing into
a petri dish and create a ruby.
Dressing takes hours beyond count;
their every text message is met by
thunderous headlines in the
Brrrrrritish tabloids. Oi!
Said Lord Worthlessthan as he dined
on braised pheasant and oysters during
a recent champagne luncheon at Beltchington,
“We call ourselves The Aristocrats…
but really, we’re plain, humble folk.”
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
McGuffy Ann
Nice job. my friend.
The Writers Village
fun and creative. Bravo!
Randy
kaykuala
Very acceptable Amy! Nothing to unsettle the apple cart. It’s the wit behind it that pulls rather! Great!
Hank
oldegg
Now as an Australian for many years I am so glad I have left all that behind. Their ancestors were merely those with the biggest club, now they think they are the club. However there will always be some in every country that will seek exclusivity.
Polly Robinson
hahahahahahahahahahahaha … I love this 🙂
vivinfrance
You are writing of the Britain of the 1930’s? It’s not much like that nowadays – the titled folk are often struggling to maintain vast piles of historic masonry, impoverished by years of punitive death duties (taxes).. The ones who think they are the bees knees these days are the MPs with their noses in the trough, milking the system.
Sometimes I think the Downton Abbey days were better – the scores of servants were at least housed, fed and clothed. I would have been a nursery made, I think.
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s all fabricated to fulfill the prompt. I did use Downton Abbey for the model, though, you sly one!
“We call ourselves The Aristocrats” is the punchline to a joke once known and told among comedians. Everyone had their own version. All were and are filthy as all get-out, which is why I thought it such a good fit!! Love, Amy
vivinfrance
nursery maid!
David King
Wonderful humour, just what I needed to pep me up for the morning round!!!
Nanka
Smiles Amy 🙂 good fun and humor!! The Aristocrats and the Rajas and Maharajas here have gone through this phase and are so similar!! 🙂 Now the new breed of “humble folks” have taken over, till their bastion is stormed and shattered!!
Laurie Kolp
Amy~ This cracked me up (especially the first stanza)… great names you gave them. Once again, you’re a hoot. = )
Walt Wojtanik
Oh Girl, you know I love salty! And “The Aristocrats” joke never disappoints! Thanks for the smirk, smile and hearty guffaw this morning, Amer!
Sharp Little Pencil
Somehow I KNEW you would be the one to know the joke, too! wink
Walt Wojtanik
I love Gilbert Gotfried’s rendition, for his facial expressions alone. A classic!
brian miller
ha. yes humble, surely….smiles…oh airs do give me the shivers a bit…humble to a fault, ha…as long as it is not theirs…smiles.
Jae Rose
You know brain cells are diluted in the aristocracy…all that inter-breeding..still no excuse for idiocy..Do you like PG Wodehouse? He might make you chuckle too..
Sharp Little Pencil
Wodehouse is amazing! I used to watch Fry and Laurie in the Jeeves comedies on BBC America, too. Of course, Hugh Laurie made it big in American TV as “House,” the doctor you hate to love!
Pamela
You are too funny, Amelita. I did get a laugh out of this.
Saludos,
Pamelita
Sarav
Lord Worthlessthan–very funny! 🙂
I HAVE A VOICE
I’d memorize this! Great !
Timoteo
Lord Worthlessthan–my favorite of the names…and how fitting! They do so enjoy playing Dress Up and Let’s Pretend!
Mary
This made me smile, but then I read Viv’s comment and saw it in a different light.
laughwithme45
I was expecting lots of curse words and such with your intro! I like your idea of rubies made in petri dishes!
whimsygizmo
Some fun humor here, Amy. 🙂
artisticmilestone
Very fun to read 🙂