Imaginary Garden With Real Toads presented me with a real challenge – a new form! Not my strong suit, but once I got going, I was on FIRE, baby! I’ve also placed this on the shelf of the Poetry Pantry at Poets United. Process notes below.
I.
She sings
for the lonely
whose martini glasses
teeter their moods to sighs of “then”
Choosing songs with good bones, timeless, misty
Watching hookups destined to fail
Witness to a rapt drunk
who cries; to whom
she sings
II.
The blur
of is/is not
falls upon her lightly
winds around her soul so tightly
She seeks solace in the bitter bottle
Battles blues with burn of bourbon
Diff’rent bottle, the script
would help her beat
the blur
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
PROCESS NOTES:
First, thematic: She Sings is from my days in piano bars, where I was the only performer. Some nights I found that the sights and emotions of my customers were more interesting than my music. The reference to “good bones” is, of course, from old houses in terms of reconstruction.
The Blur can be any sort of mental disorder, when the person chooses to self-medicate rather than follow the doctor’s plan. In this case, she has received her diagnosis, gotten her meds, and won’t “play along.” Most heavy drinkers I know don’t gave the insurance or don’t realize they need a psychiatrist; I’ve seen this lead to the worst ends possible, including several suicides… and my mother’s lifelong battle with booze.
AS TO THE FORM: A Rictameter is a “form with a shape.” The syllable count is 2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2.
A bit of history from the Real Toads site: Created in the early 1990s by two cousins, Jason D. Wilkins and Richard W. Lunsford, Jr., for a poetry contest that was held as a weekly practice of their self-invented order, The Brotherhood of the Amarantos Mystery. The order was inspired by the Robin Williams movie Dead Poets Society.
coalblack
I drank to self-medicate my depression, which was much worse when i was younger, coming around for weeks or even two or three months at a stretch, turning the world a numb gray. Sometimes it actually worked, and after getting blotto, i would feel better (after feeling worse with a hangover.) I also hadn’t learned to manage my sensitive empath self; didn’t even know that’s what I was, and so i drank to quiet all those emotions, too.
Through it all and to this day, though, I love a good standard!
Sharp Little Pencil
“I Made it Through the Raaaaaaain…”
Only someone who’s been there can relate to another sojourner on the Whiskey Trail… glad you made it through.
McGuffy Ann
Well done, my friend, well done.
Mary
This rings so true, Amy. There are so many who seek the blurring of reality. And in piano bars I am sure one does encounter many who do. Hopefully, however, there are also people who just seek a fun time and a drink or two with friends!
Hannah Gosselin
LOVE the way you went about this, Amy!!
My favorite is this:
“Choosing songs with good bones, timeless, misty,” and the whole beginning of that one!!
Excellent to theme these!
Kerry O'Connor
Choosing songs with good bones… That is such an excellent use of metaphor right there, and I really felt the melancholy of the second part. The singer’s song helps to soothe others but does not offer a palliative for her own pain.
kellifrog
“Choosing songs with good bones.” Brilliant.
Lisa A.Williams
Remarkable, also love “Choosing songs with good bones.”
LaTonya
I haven’t tried this form either but the more I read, the more I am inspired. Enjoyed your efforts. Thanks for the read.
vandana sharma
nice
kaykuala
Interactions with a crowd of people at play can be hilarious, educational and even frightening. You’ve been privileged to have such an experience with people who are themselves at any given time then. Thanks for sharing Amelita!
Hank
Marian
oooh i feel these, Amy. real and truthy, excellent.
mindlovemisery
Lovely structure and powerful writing!
Sherry Blue Sky
You totally rocked the form, which has too many syllable counts for me to even attempt………I love, especially, “she sings for the lonely”. Many lonely people in those places.
Jinksy
I enjoyed your nifty rhyming in the second one. 🙂
bonniejtoomey2013
Interesting form on the page, nice alliteration and rhyme throughout interior, and I like the line:
/choosing songs with good bones/
Kay, Alberta, Canada
Well, you hit upon it here alright, my friend. I remember booze, but not fondly! Those dim, long-ago days seem so long ago, but I remember the pain.
K
Helen
After reading your poems … I sat, thought .. and sighed. I don’t know this pain, however I know folks who do. I can imagine you performing …
Eileen T O'Neill
Amy,
Your words could have had a jazzy music attached…Very thematic and very observant of human life, especially those who seek solace in dark and shady places…
Eileen
Loredana Donovan
This describes the emotional/mental blurriness caused by addictions so well. It’s really a tough disease to deal with, and I like how you wrote this without judgement … but simply showing the feelings and pain associated with it. Thank you for stopping by my blog 🙂
Grace
You did very well with the form Amy ~ Yes, I counted them, smiles ~
For the first share, I like this part best: Choosing songs with good bones, timeless, misty ~ You must have been a terrific performer to share that empathy with your audience ~ As to the second one, I like this part:Battles blues with burn of bourbon
This is sad indeed ~
Wishing you happy week ~
Akila
The two pairs read together for me. Singing to blur the undesired and blurring everythign else to sing, just sing for the moment!
readerwil
Drinking for the sake of forgetting or at least blurring , is so wrong. I have often been difficult situations which made me feeling hopeless, but there was nothing else than face them and think clearly. That way I could act better and efficiently.
Thanks for your comment on Whitsuntide. Interesting to read that people in your country wear special colours, like red and white. We have, like in the USA, also this Pentecoste movement, but I don’t go to their churches. I am a member of one of the protestant churches. It’s okay for me.
Polly Robinson
Wow! Form with a vengeance! Nice one, Amy 🙂 Cool …
oldegg
I could see the rapt drunk I had met him before luckily it wasn’t me in a mirror. However I loved the alliteration in the Blur.
Diane Turner
Really well done. Choosing songs with good bones, timeless, misty…now that is excellent.
Thanks for sharing.
Roger Green
There was this segment on an Andy Rooney special, some 30 years ago in which several different singers would start singing ‘Misty’; it was more interesting than it sounds.
brian miller
nice…like that first one…singing in a bar you see a lot…a lot of busted life and relationships for sure…hook ups destined to fail…yep…cool form ma’am…hopefully, in the second, she can pic up the pen and change the script before the bottle does…
vivinfrance
Nice ;form – I do like poems that look good on the page. And a superb poem, obviously felt from the heart.
ninotaziz
Your words just ‘sing’ so well together…telling a difficult story that resonates with truth. I love your poems Amy. You do not hold back, and it shows.
I HAVE A VOICE
Amy you brought the smokiness right into my eyes! And, “Love me or Leave Me.”
Old Ollie
Tight poem Amy. I admire your discipline.
jamesmiller1234
Its a lovely poem with meaningful thought. I really liked the poem.
Sara v
Amy, you rocked the Rictameter! Smoky sad songs, bars just aren’t happy places, though they promote themselves as such. And booze can smooth some edges, but you gotta get to why those edges are rough in the first place.