Prelude to a Nightmare (a nocturne)
I remember bedtime prayers to Him
Resting in peace until
lifted on devil’s wings
by another Him and hidden
No cry in darkness,
only strangled fear
stifled invasion of trust
Today, I still pray
He rests in peace now
No longer do I fear
his dry hands, betrayal
Lifted on angel’s wings
Cry of forgiveness
in the blessed peace
of moonlit prayer
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Image through Wikimedia Commons: This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.
PTSD isn’t just for veterans, people who survived 9/11, or Katrina and Oklahoma victims. Night terrors and phobias often plague adults who were sexually abused as children. Years of therapy led me to the path of forgiveness. Dad no longer controls me, and my prayers at night always include him, for all the good things he taught me, including a love of words and poetry.
The rest is out there in a bubble, outside my body and my psyche, yet available for inspection, now that I’m stronger.
This was written for Kim’s prompt at Poets United (I remember…) and also for Kerry’s “Nocturne” prompt at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads. Peace, Amy
Sharp Little Pencil 
Kerry O'Connor
The terrors of the night can be the worst kind, and very hard to overcome. I felt the mood shift between the first and second stanza, and I also like the religious motifs you wove throughout the lines.
Audrey Howitt
Oh Amy–my heart to you–Peace–Audrey
Sherry Blue Sky
Amy, you are every bit a veteran of war, risen to near exultation in having achieved forgiveness of this betrayal in your lifetime. Bravo!
http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
Your courage is one of your defining virtues.
alan1704
This is sad and courageous, makes me want to pray.
Roger Green
As always good (tho painful) stuff
El Guapo
These pieces make the reader stronger too.
hedgewitch
You express the journey through that night beautifully here, Amy. There’s an old cliche that I deeply believe in–a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, and when we share our own pain with lightness, casting it into the winds, we can lighten the burdens of others. Thanks for this, an excellent response to the challenge.
ihatepoetry
Bravo, my sistah. Love, Pop-o Mosk
Susan
We both write about release from pain, Amy, but this may be the hardest kind. An excellent poem.
laughwithme45
Amy, your words express the strength that time has given you.
Mama Zen
I am in awe of your strength and grace.
lawpoetry
Forgiveness can be hard to come by under such circumstances. Your powerful poem explains the pain and also your journey to forgiveness. Excellent work!
Lisa A.Williams
I meant to sign in with law-poetry.blogspot.com, not lawpoetry which is my wordpress account which I don’t use.
Richard Cody
Forgiveness, forgiveness, yes, yes…
McGuffy Ann
I understand what you speak of here. I cannot say that I gained anything good from my abuse, other than what didn’t kill me made me stronger. He taught me nothing.
margaretbednar
Shivers up and down my arms, hair raised. A sinking heart. Awe at the power to forgive. This is what went through me as I read this poem.
Susie Clevenger (@wingsobutterfly)
Oh I know this terror. Only it was an uncle that touched me with demon hands. I too forgave him to free myself. There are pieces of the nightmare that linger hidden in my memory so deep I can’t recall it. I hope I never will.
Mary
So good that you were able to forgive, to free yourself, to be able to move on. But I know this kind of terror lives always….can never really be put away.
Kay, Alberta, Canada
I do not know your terrors, but I know my own, and one deep feeling understands another. Forgiveness is the only road to freedom, but it’s a hard, hard road.
Luv, K
Ella
This rings so true…freedom is lost for those who fight for our country!
Powerful and so well done 😀
Lasha M
Mama……. I am not as good as ur are with words…………Its sad but still gives a hope to life only if u forgive,,………..
Akila
In the darkness comes alive the profoundest of fears. But moving on as forgiveness is perhaps, the toughest but the most peaceful way of looking at it. The two prompts gave you an outlet,
Will be glad to hear from you at:
http://randomlynovel.blogspot.in/2013/06/memories.html
http://randomlynovel.blogspot.in/2013/06/dark-within.html
Kodjo Deynoo
Lifted on devils wings.. I like your use of word and what you create
J Cosmo Newbery
It’s good that you can write about it. Its lovely that you can write about it so well.
Marcoantonio Arellano
Hopefully cathartic for you. One step at a time. The tragedy of these unwanted experiences is that they take away time, distract from moments of living that should be one’s choice.
Wonderful prayer.
Thank you for your reference to PTSD
lolamouse
You are a strong woman. It takes such courage to face these demons and even more to forgive. Beautiful and inspiring poem.
Maggie Grace
I was “blessed” with no conscious memory for my childhood but always feared HIM. He died a few years ago. Sometimes I have to remind myself he’s dead now. Such a well written expression of that awful fear and violation. I do hope they go to hell and are not with angels. Hope that is not offensive to you.
Hannah Gosselin
Heartbreaking and chilling. ♥ to you.
Grace
Thank you for this personal and heartfelt share ~ To forgive and include him in your prayers take a lot of courage ~ Have a lovely weekend Amy ~
Suzy
Forgiveness is strength and the only way to peace. thanks for sharing what must be a difficult time in your life.
Jim
You are right, Amy. But I still remember and I could never forgive even though I love him even in his grave. Not sexual there, but physical. Mom too. Dad changed, became a deacon, Sunday school teacher, prayer partner, and obviously saved. But WE never did talk of those earlier days. I am glad we didn’t.
..
Sara v
Amy, forgiveness is powerful, more powerful than keeping everything locked up. I’m so glad that you got there, sorry that those devil’s wings ever existed, though. A beautiful and heartfelt poem.