I Beg Your Pardon… really
For my sisters, who have had to
put up with my leftie ranting and
defense of my gender-queer daughter…
I beg your pardon
For my daughter, who had to
endure a childhood with a single mom
who was not yet diagnosed as mentally ill…
I ask your forgiveness
For my husband, who has seen me
through hell and back, fat and thin, and
bears my depressions with understanding…
I’m sorry I’m a high-maintenance partner
For my dead parents, about whom I write,
who defend their actions, their hideous
alcoholism and abuse of their daughter…
I regret nothing
Finally, to myself, for all the mistakes, the
mysterious paths I’ve chosen, the years of
drugs, the booze, and the frozen career just thawing…
I repent. And I sharpen my pencil once again.
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Fireblossom Friday at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads asks for poems about repentence. I won’t go into the God thing here. I’m keeping it tangible and earthbound. Shay, you rock! Peace, Amy
October 12, 2013 at 12:16 am
I am grinning from ear to ear… Good to have that pencil sharpened and already writing! 🙂 Sleep well and dream sweetly 🙂
October 12, 2013 at 1:09 am
Amy, you are fantastic! Your pencil is indeed sharp and you say it like it is. Bravo.
October 12, 2013 at 1:39 am
You go, girl! So glad your Amy-pencil is still sharp!
Kay, Alberta, Canada
October 12, 2013 at 2:09 am
I would say you need never apologize for defending your daughter, but otherwise this is a fabulous poem, Amy. Very sharp.
Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade)
October 12, 2013 at 2:53 am
I enjoy your sharp pencil very much! Keep telling it like it is. 🙂
October 12, 2013 at 6:22 am
booyah. sharpen that pencil….and write it on out….we all make those mistakes but we charge ever on…and never apologize for defending you daughter….this is strong amy….nice confessional feel…
October 12, 2013 at 7:03 am
This, too, is sharp pencil! Thank God for you.
October 12, 2013 at 7:18 am
Keep it sharp, sister. Always sharp.
The Transcanada Poet
October 12, 2013 at 7:20 am
I hope you have that sharp pencil with you at all times…this poem couldn’t have been an easy write… there was some power behind those words… well done
October 12, 2013 at 8:39 am
sharpest pencil in the box 😉
love you and love to read you every chance I get. you amaze me every time ❤
October 12, 2013 at 8:49 am
A beautiful, direct, and compelling history, full of hope and indeed, the redemption that only comes with effort and strength.
Josie Two Shoes
October 12, 2013 at 9:12 am
Powerful, beautiful, life affirming… we rise from the ashes to begin again, always begin again! You are amazing, Amy!
October 12, 2013 at 9:36 am
Teshuva! Great poem … may your pencil always be sharp.
October 12, 2013 at 10:25 am
Love your last line, Amy…perfect close and your truth and voice shines mightily in this. ♥ to you!
L. Edgar Otto
October 12, 2013 at 10:41 am
I tried to think of a comment but all I could think of was a bright newly sharpened pencil I got for my blank page from a blind man on the street so all I could think about was to avert and protect my eyes. Kudos to your man (of course who knows what is true as such focused sunlight through the lens of fiction and reflects can be hotter than the surface of the sun). High maintenance (very little funding around here for such issues these days) but yes, it is said partners can redeem each other. Heck, what am I talking about…?
October 12, 2013 at 11:02 am
Very nicely done, as usual, Amy. My only critique would be to change the full-stop before the final sentance, which then begins with an “And” to a comma, it seems to be a pause (in my ear, at least – and, I bristle at using “and” as the beginning of a sentence… it’s just my own little OCD thing, don’t worry about it, really [I’m sure you’re not… worried, that is]). Brava, Amy, Brava!
Sam Edge, Writer
October 12, 2013 at 6:18 pm
This poe mis like a punch in the face. Well done girl.
October 12, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Brilliant piece of writing, a sharp pencil and a sharp mind indeed. I identify with the defence of a daughter. We have a trans daughter whom we love so much and sometimes have to defend from the ignorant. Thank you for this. 🙂
October 12, 2013 at 7:21 pm
You said it like it is, Amy! There could have been lots of events that might not go the way we had wanted it. But taking it by the horns head-on was not easy. Somehow some few managed to pull through brilliantly. You’re one such few! Needs lots of resilience to stay above water. Great write Ma’am!
October 12, 2013 at 8:11 pm
…just thawing. (applause)
This is a “chin held high” type of poem and I adore it.
October 13, 2013 at 5:54 am
I love your sharpened pencil!
October 13, 2013 at 8:34 pm
Wow! Love this and what you say. Can’t wait.
October 14, 2013 at 11:02 am
This is such a powerful piece, Amy. Your honesty is as always the solid backbone to your poetry, and reaches out to touch your reader.
October 14, 2013 at 3:48 pm
Keep that pencil sharp and no complaints from this faithful reader–you rock! 🙂 It’s all that you are that makes your poetry so powerful and heartfelt.
October 14, 2013 at 10:55 pm
as much forgiveness as redemption, Amy? closer than cousins – siblings, maybe even twins.
October 18, 2013 at 2:28 pm
You pencil is always sharpened, mysteriously.