If you don’t “mind” the “V” word, read on. But remember, I warned you. Also, to anyone who objects, please remember: COPYING, XEROXING, AND DISTRIBUTING MY WORK IS A COPYRIGHT VIOLATION. YOU MAY GO TO JAIL. (I have had mean “stalkers” lately.)
OK, the snarky scolding is out of the way. Fasten your seatbelts!
Each morning I
sit on my vagina and drink coffee.
Every day is
Take Your Vagina To Work Day.
while I pee and used to
participate in my monthlies.
She knows my husband. Well.
Me and my vagina have been
through thick and…
I’ve taken care of her for years.
In return, she opened wide and
helped deliver my baby girl.
Me and my vagina: BFFs.
So, Congress, don’t tread on us.
Together, we are a formidable foe.
Just ask my ex.
© 2014 Poetry and Artwork by Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
First, a disclaimer: Betty is not really my BFF. My friend John in Philadelphia is. Somehow, I know that this particular order in the greater scheme of things will bring him comfort… and a laugh.
When ABC Wednesday asked for poems about the letter V… well, ’nuff said!! Peace and reproductive rights for all, unless you want to outlaw Viagra and submit tests on fathers before termination of pregnancies, Amy
June 10, 2014 at 4:05 am
No holds barred. You said it like it is, direct, brave and succinctly beautiful! And how you really love it! That’s Amelita as you’ve always been. Great write Ma;am!
June 10, 2014 at 4:51 am
Of course, it’s your V word. I am NOT shocked. Always thought the Vagina Monologues served a great social function, for men as well as women. Obviously, not enough for men…
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
June 10, 2014 at 5:53 am
Exactly… I bet I’ve heard guys said similar things about their appendix (the P-word you know), and that one cannot even deliver a baby— I think Freud was wrong….
June 10, 2014 at 7:49 am
ha. smiles….nice political message there in the end….they know no bounds though it seems….we must legislate everything….fun play with personalizing it and a serious message…and its good you can be friends….smiles
June 10, 2014 at 7:54 am
Amy–love you so much! You make me smile even when I’m gnashing my teeth over the folks that put the crazy in Congress. Happy “V” day 😉
June 10, 2014 at 9:00 am
Hope you and your vagina give gov’t the thumping they so richly deserve.
June 10, 2014 at 9:54 am
Serious good and serious fun. You rock, AMeleh!
June 10, 2014 at 10:00 am
Best genitalia poem I think I’ve ever read! You Rock, Amy!
June 10, 2014 at 7:01 pm
*snicker* You tell ’em.
June 11, 2014 at 3:47 pm
I’m not sure you mean it to, Amy, but your poem made me roar with laughter. Please what is BFF?
Sharp Little Pencil
June 17, 2014 at 3:17 pm
I will also email you, but Best Friend Forever (or Friends, if speaking of you and another friend).
June 17, 2014 at 3:21 pm
I like that one. I saw one of my BFFs today and it was great to laugh with Tillybud again.
Lady Muck (@UTLAU)
June 12, 2014 at 2:00 am
This is a Very good V post! I love this poem 🙂
June 12, 2014 at 4:53 pm
Haha entertaining, snarky and a bite just like I like my posts, well done!
June 13, 2014 at 8:16 am
LOL Always love your honest, straightforward perspective — with or without the snark! Do you send these off to congress? (You ought to.) 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
June 17, 2014 at 4:56 pm
LOVE YOU ALL MADLY. VISITED WHEN AND WHERE I COULD!!! Amy
June 24, 2014 at 10:26 am
I LOVE this V poem, it made me laugh and made me think, very clever indeed 🙂