Amy Barlow Liberatore… stories of lost years, wild times, mental variety, faith, and lots of jazz

Tag Archives: Miscarriage

 

Jiminy Was Right

She sits up
sweat drenched, crying
Doesn’t mind pix with smeared makeup

After a miscarriage and abortion
she didn’t think a baby could emerge

Her first child suckles
Proof that dreams come true

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

Trifecta asked for exactly 33 words about a “dream come true.”

Many women experience misfortunes when it comes to timing pregnancy, carrying a baby, and actually coming to full term. I’ve held the hands of friends who were going to terminate a pregnancy – even paid for one, whose boyfriend was beating her. I’ve said “I’m sorry” and cradled sobbing girlfriends in my arms like she was my own child. The miracle of childbirth is a dream come true – a dream deferred for some. For others, they “drop ‘em like tadpoles,” lucky women!

The song, “A Child Is Born,” was written by jazz legend Thad Jones, with lyrics by Alec Wilder.  Peace, Amy



“Strong Dream” by Paul Klee (1879 – 1940)

Healing the Wounded Womb (an ekphrastic poem*)

Years ago,
the midnight cramps
the passing of the piece
One whole fetus
in the palm of my hand, and

calling the doctor,
was told that, if in fact
the baby was intact,
I should take it to his
office tomorrow.

Sorrow wrapped it in plastic,
stored in the egg cutouts
of the fridge door
(irony thick as blood clots)
‘til morning came

Years later, at an
est Training** (the one
where you couldn’t pee),
I offered up a vision
of a blood red moon

The moon was
that perfect,
imperfect egg;
the red, my womb;
and beneath all
a sheltering golden arm

holding my heart
holding my soul
holding me as I wept
for my long-gone loss

© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

*Ekphrastic poems come from studying a painting and creating a poem based on your own impressions.  Paul Klee, along with Kandinsky, certain Pollocks, and the Blue Period of Picasso, all favorites.  I used to be strictly Impressionist, but then my mind exploded upon seeing some Picassos at the Met Museum of Art in the City.  (That would be NYC!)  In a single moment, I got it.  I also developed a knack for reading Gertrude Stein’s Toklas book and Russell Hoban’s classic, Riddley Walker!  Major synapse release, I suppose, and all for the good.

**This is based on (shudder) an attending est (Erhard Seminar Training) a mind- and money-control project cobbled together by a former used-car salesman who changed his name to Werner Erhard. (Who remembers him now?  Ah, yes, a much-deserved obscurity for that money-grubbing pseudo-something, although he continues to lecture and has posted all positive reviews from former esties – obviously, he neglected to ask me, but who can blame him?  He ripped concepts off from the best… Gibran, the Buddha, the Dalai Lama; as well as the worst, like Wayne Dyer and other then-motivational speakers, creating a synthesis of New Age bullshit and timeless quotes used to his own advantage.

I managed to have one good revelation there, and this Klee reminded me of that… Thanks to Margo Roby’s prompt, which I discovered via Joseph Harker’s Naming Constellations – brilliant blogs, both!  Peace, Amy



Photo © Kim Nelson

The One That Got Away

Within
Gentle droplet
Humanity begins
Viewed at doctor’s, yet that same night
Taken

Woman
Mother-to-be
Seemingly, “Nevermore”
Her womb emptied by dark forces
Grief reigns
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

This poem, a cinquain (yes, I wrote a form that was not specifically requested!), for Poets United, is based on my first impression of the fabulous artwork of Kim Nelson (Poet, Artist, Blogger, and FRIEND – check out her work by clicking on her name).

Even though it’s in shades of red, my take was an ultrasound screen, with the fetal head at the top. I did have a miscarriage years ago, which probably explains the red connection, and it haunted me for so long, until I got pregnant with Riley and knew she was ‘in with Velcro.’ Peace, Amy (Proud Member, Poets United)