One for We Write Poems

I couldn’t resist this prompt from We Write Poems. Then I’m definitely stopping until February! The prompt was to revise an old poem, and this one was reworked for my chapbook, Dance Groove Funhouse (shameless plug: See right column to order a copy. I could use the encouragement! There’s nothing in there your grandma couldn’t read.)

I had to rework it because it had the “F” word in it (as well as “shit”) and I decided the first was too harsh and the second could be replaced with the infinitely funnier word, “crap” – even though I’m a salty dame, I was considering my readers and felt that this slight bowdlerism was apropos. Also, I kept the line about the airgun even though I’m a pacifist, because this is about feelings, not what you’d really do. Finally, I broke up the days more clearly.

What came out was, to me and to many readers, a better poem altogether. Let me know what you think! Amy

THE LARK

SATURDAY MORNING

Lazing after lush, lazy sleep I am
awakened by a lark
perched beneath my bedroom window
serenading me of the day to come
Thank you, God, for this blessing
the wakeup call from heaven
Birdsong on a Saturday morning

LATE SUNDAY NIGHT

Working 9-5
Long into the night, I tossed and turned 3 a.m.
again
The alarm will grant me 6:45
Then it starts
That stinking bird
Sackful of crap that will undoubtedly be dispensed
on my windshield
If only I had
an airgun

Posted by Sharp Little Pencil in Free Verse, Humor, Nature, Night, We Write Poems Tags: CHAPBOOK, Fantasy, Free Verse, Humor, Nature, Night, We Write Poems

14 Comment(s)

booguloo

January 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm

How’s that song go..”what a difference a day makes..” ..smiles..

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:42 am
  
  …twenty-four little hours… Hey, I can sing that song in Spanish, too! wink
  
pamela

January 13, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Oh, Amy this made me laugh. I needed a good laugh today.

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:41 am
  
  That’s the best compliment I could receive in the middle of a major move! The air was turning blue today with my language (sometimes I get lazy with the adjectives when things don’t work out right). Could NOT get a large print of a Renoir to go in the box… finally dug out some towels to pad it… Aargh. So laughing was most welcome when Lex came home with half a “goodbye from the pastors party” cake that said, “HA LEX” (originally Happy Trails, Lex)! Got me some giggles out of that one!
  
Debbie

January 14, 2011 at 5:39 am

I loved this one AND your chapbook. Thank you for revising and posting and letting us revisit! 🙂

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:38 am
  
  Debbie, thanks again for being one of my very first patrons! I was happy to find the graphic of the little bird for that page… but my favorite is still the skeleton key. Those simply lined, iconic pix work best for me… Peace, and see you in Feb, Amy
  
Donald Harbour

January 14, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Amy I enjoyed reading your work. I know it must reflect actual events. Here in Arkansas it is the Mocking Bird that gives one fits. Starts before sunrise and will not shut up until sundown. It’s a protected state bird. Thanks for the suggestion; I took it to heart and made change. Comment always welcome. Keep your pencil sharp!
Regards
Don

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:37 am
  
  Don, thanks for welcoming my thoughts on your work. I am happy if you made the change; just as happy if you didn’t. It’s all about what looks right and pleases your eye and ear.
  
  Like I said, and I say this to ALL: Any suggestions you have that might strengthen my work, please do not hesitate. If you don’t want to “go public” with your critique, email me at sharplittlepencil@gmail.com, OK?
  
  And yes, it is a true story. I was a single mom, fighting for every bit of sleep I could, never a partier or (fill in the blank where you have a sleepless night coming as a consequence of a bad choice), and in the wee small hours, there was this little lark. Sweet thing, but damned inconvenient! See you in Feb! Amy
  
Scent of my heart

January 14, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Have a good break!

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:33 am
  
  Thanks so much, hon. It’s all about moving, but to a better place for us and our kitty, Gable – plus a new city to explore, which I love to do! Madison is a small enough city that it’s navigable by bike, but large enough that the culture is booming. Plus they kept their university downtown, a HUGE plus for any city!
  
  Peace, Amy
  
Irene

January 15, 2011 at 5:02 am

An attitude makeover. Two poems of contrasts in attitude. The positive always wins for me, Amy.

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:31 am
  
  You got to the heart of it, Irene. It’s all about when the event occurs = sometimes heaven, sometimes not. And I really don’t own an airgun! It was just a nasty thought, I’m really a pacifist (except when the unavoidable bat invades the house and can’t be chased out…)
  
Deborah

January 15, 2011 at 10:52 pm

LOL … glad you couldn’t resist!

- Sharp Little Pencil
  
  January 16, 2011 at 3:30 am
  
  Oh, hon, so am I! Amy