Next, updating the huge backlog of your comments. But just to assure you that I’m back “for real,” here is a poem. (PS This was updated thanks to my buddy Mike, who caught a typo in the second line. Bravo for second pairs of eyes!)
I always told Riley, “Just because you’re my only child doesn’t mean you owe me grandchildren, like some sort of karmic payback. And when it’s time to take away my car keys, you have my permission NOW, while I’m still together… same thing with putting me in assisted living or a nursing home. Only one caveat on that…”
Retirement Plan
(For my daughter, with love and zero guilt!)
When I grow too slow for races
Should I live to be quite dull
And my conversation brings a yawn
And my wheelchair you must pull
Waste no time on guilt, my dear
You have complete permission
To send me to a nursing home
I’ve only one provision:
First send me on a cruise ship
To see Alaska’s shore
I’ll slip, unnoticed, overboard
And be a mermaid once more
© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
Sharp Little Pencil 
liv2write2day
Now that’s a plan. With the cost of nursing care facilities it might be doable. Only caveat…take me someplace warmer, please. And I’d as soon stay on board and just keep cruisin’
Sharp Little Pencil
I’d rather freeze faster, before the sharks get to me… and you know they will! The mermaid part is cool, and if I thought there was a chance of that coming true, I’d hop out in warm water off the Caribbean side of Puerto Rico… !!
liv2write2day
BTW…glad you’re back.
Sharp Little Pencil
Me, too. And Lex is overjoyed! Thanks, hon. A
christine
When my little girls were very little they asked if they had to get married I have always told them, live a good life, be able to provide for yourself, and have good friends around you, and NO you don’t ever have to marry or have children. I never want them to feel they are worth less, if they never go down that road, I felt that way for years because of busy bossy aunts who only wanted to see me married. They are still busy and bossy around me. Wish THEY would take an Alaskan cruise. Glad to see you back, PS: take a look at my poem Chance.
Sharp Little Pencil
GREAT advice to your kids. I agree, the pressure was on. My mom had six grandchildren, but they all had blue eyes like my dad, and sh’es Black Irish, brown eyes, dark hair… so when I married a Jewish guy (hubby #1), she REALLY wanted a brown-eyed baby and the pressure was on. Riley’s eyes are so brown, I couldn’t even tell when she had been smoking pot because her pupils are the same color as her irises, ha ha.
And yeah, I have a few I’d like to send to Alaska, on a one-way ticket!!!
Just read the poem. Left a comment, but I am humbled by your dedication to me. This really gave me a lift! Love, Amy
Kwee Lewis
That is so beautiful. I’ve made Chris just promise to never put me in an asylum and leave me there. I think the thought horrified him more than it did me. Thankfully.
Sharp Little Pencil
That’s a keeper, for sure. Lex feels the same way!! Love, A
Pat Hatt
haha but Alaskan waters are so cold, wouldn’t you rather go to Hawaii or something?..haha
Sharp Little Pencil
Nope. Wanna turn into a popsicle before the sharks devour me!!!
Poetry & Icecream
Lol, I love this Amy. The last stanza is perfect. I might have to join you 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Hey, the more, the merrier (and the better feeding for the sharks…. da DUH… da DUH…) A
Nanka
That is so nice and thoughtful too!! I’ll envy you when you are on that trip to Alaska Amy and now you have set me thinking !! Que Sera Sera 😉
Sharp Little Pencil
I won’t envy me because I’ll be drooling out one side of my mouth and my knees will be all saggy, like an elephant!!! Love, A
Debbie
You gave me the biggest smile! I have been thinking of you and praying too. I give you permission to not comment on my comments, okay? 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Ha ha, like that’s gonna happen!! Love, Amy
vivinfrance
I like the idea of you as a mermaid. Lovely poem.
Sharp Little Pencil
My mom used to say she and I were descended from mermaids off the Irish coast… both singers!
Tilly Bud
Riley must love you!
Great poem 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s a mutual admiration society… except when I have to play the Mom Card. Then there’s that healthy friction which reminds us both what our roles are!!
madeleine sara
Absolutely brilliant. Charming lovely!
Thanks for your comments on my Insecure writers post too :O)
Sharp Little Pencil
Thank you so much, Madeleine. I appreciate your comment. And I almost always try to visit everyone who visits me, but unfortunately, the backlog is too great. Don’t worry, I’ll catch up eventually! Peace, Amy
Inside the Mind of Isadora
Humourous and filled with facts .. love the way it rhymes.
It is always good to be prepared for those days and leave instructions.
You’ve made life a little easier for Riley.
Nice one, Amer ..
Namaste,
Izzy xoxox
Sharp Little Pencil
Ha ha, and she gets all my vinyl Beatle records, too!! Wish my mom hadn’t laid so many guilt trips on me about “not sending me to the nursing home” because she made me promise NOT to when I was, like, seven years old and she was plastered. But I kept my word. Told Riley, you don’t owe me a church wedding or grandchildren or anything… just a running start when it’s nursing home time = but if you catch me, I’ll go willingly!! Love, Amy
Sherry Blue Sky
Oh my! Maybe you should pick the tropics, the water is way too cold up north:) Glad you are Back…….
Sharp Little Pencil
Sherry, I want to freeze fast before the sharks get me. If I really thought the mermaid thing would work out, then, yes, the tropics, for sure!!!
mish
Is that a secret wish ? To swim with the mermaids ? Or are you not telling … 🙂
I also have one child, a son … daughters normally look out for their mothers, but sons … that’s another story, they often gravitate towards the wife’s side of the family … my son is still single though, so that rules out the gravitation bit for the moment … I’m very close to my granddaughter so maybe that’s a plus … who knows ?
http://writer-in-transit.co.za/delight-at-dawn/ (a recent post about mermaids… just for you 🙂
Love & hugs
Mish
Sharp Little Pencil
Mish. thanks so much for this. My mom told me she and I were descended from the Irish sirens who would sing to the sailors, making them crash their boats!!!
Wonderful if I’ll ever have a grandchild? I really don’t care. But I’d be first in line for diapering and babysitting, should my giirl be in a relationship with a woman who had kids!
I’ll check out the post – I’m honored! Love, Amy
Renee
Love it! Yes, certainly there must be a cruise. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award as you deserve it for your quick whit and honest observations on life. I so enjoy your site. http://reneejustturtleflight.wordpress.com Do enjoy!
Sharp Little Pencil
Renee, thank you so much, but I am still behind on replies to posts from before my depression, so I’m afraid I will have to refuse (politely) participation in the Award. Thank you SO MUCH for thinking of me, really. Peace, Amy
booguloo
Very Good. I like it.
Sharp Little Pencil
The poem or the plan? (wink)
wolfsrosebud
Well little mermaid… sounds like you have a plan. Nice interview too. I feel special being able to see you face to face first. LOL, have a good weekend.
Sharp Little Pencil
I agree, hon – wish we could have more meetups, even statewide! And yeah, I’m all over the mermaid gig, lol
johnallenrichter
Quite a cold mermaid that would be….. I’ve heard old tales that long ago Eskimos would put their elderly onto little slips of icebergs and push them off to sea….. man…. just give me a nursing home. I won’t complain, I promise…….
Sharp Little Pencil
Well, I’m just trying to keep my options open, LOL. Amy