Friends, please don’t abandon me as I take a few weeks off to sort out our move to another home in Madison. This one will have a proper workroom, space for breathing, and sunshine pouring through our windows. I shall post “two for the road”; one sad, one about the work of the poet… for dverse, Sunday Scribblings, Poetic Bloomings, and Poets United.
If you comment on these, please be patient for a response, as I probably won’t be back until late January. And, as always, if you leave a comment, I will visit your blog in return! Blessings and peace for the New Year, Amy
At a Loss
At a loss, plum outta new thoughts
except those that drift:
first letters, then stop-start words
weave down the path to form
phrases (stitches awkwardly
frayed, signs of wear)
When I’m at a standstill…
I think on my friends
the quirks and catch-phrases
the confidences that
make the circle ever stronger
How we shoveled the shit back in the day
I smile, pick up my pencil
and suddenly, the absentee-brainer
becomes a no-sweater
Beginning to end
the heartbeat of the blend
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
———————————————–
A Brave One, 1985 (a barlette)
She’s a brave one
Bopping down the street
(after spending all night in the ER)
Smiles for strangers
and a hello for every telephone pole
(hitching down her skirt to cover bruises)
Nowhere special to go
Sunny, warm, a day to be spent in the park
(but not THAT park, never again)
Destination, the pier, downtown
near the Fulton Fish Market
(covers the smell of him that wouldn’t shower away)
Good thing she wore flip-flops
Sneakers would be too tight now
(his boots crushed her toes to bloody)
The doctor said come back
for a post-traumatic thing, at the hospital
(where strangers looked at her like she was garbage)
No, much better to take a dip
Water will heal her wounds
(Suddenly glad she never learned to swim)
Just a few minutes floating
in the gleaming sludge of the East River
(and his brutality will be gone forever)
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
(Process notes: The barlette is my own form – two short lines with (a commentary revealing truth).
Old Egg
I read both of these without much of a break and perhaps that was a mistake as “At a loss” had a hesitant, awkward feeling of the poet struggling to get their words and expressions right at first then gradually gets back in gear. Excellent.
However after that treat the visual impact of the abused girl emerging from the hospital to contemplate life after the hurt eventually (in my mind) not bathing in the dirty river to wash away the memories but to sink beneath those muddy waters to cleanse herself completely of everything was a punishment for me. This was a most powerful work. Glad you are back.
Sharp Little Pencil
Robin, now I’m really back… thanks for a strong, insightful comment on this poem. It wasn’t easy! Peace, Amy
booguloo
Nice writes and contrasts.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Michael! Glad to be back. Peace, Amy
Buddah Moskowitz
Ameleh – Great poems both. Loved the new form – that’s wisdom, making your own form! Best to you and Lex for a blessed year ahead,
Moskowitz the Fraudulent 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Mosk the Authentic, thanks so much for always being there for me. And yes, the form I am rather proud of, especially since forms are not my strong suit. I need to have that INFORMATION (and the ironic truth behind it). Love you, bruddah! Ameleh
hedgewitch
Whoa on that second one. You managed to completely pull the shock ending out of the hat and level me–excellent writing. The first was warm and colloquial, and so I wasn’t quite prepared for that blade-sharp second. Good stuff, and good luck on your move.
Sharp Little Pencil
Hedgewitch, thank you so much for your obviously thorough reading of my poems. I hadn’t intended on quite that dichotomy, but it hit several of us the same way. Peace, Amy
Mary Mansfield
Two really powerful poems! That second one especially, wow, the message is both heart-wrenching and a bit disturbing, but so, so vivid. Very nicely done. Have a good move, and see ya when you’re hiatus is over.
Sharp Little Pencil
Well, I’m hitting replies before doing much else, back at my desk. Thank you so much for the compliments, and now to visit you! Peace, Amy
Daydreamertoo
Awww… the sad one is so sad because it’s so true to real life.
Good luck with your moving. I’ve no doubt we will all be here when you return.
Ostensible Truth (OT)
oh I like this a lot! I’d actually just had this link in a tab when I saw your comment on mine ha – I like coincidences – and glad I am to have clicked on it – love the reminiscitory (not a word but I use it anyways) nature of the first one – and I did smile at “How we shoveled the shit back in the day” – it reminded me of an old story I’d heard before from a friend! then the second one made great use of parenthesis as an almost snide aside under-breath – really great writing here!!
Sharp Little Pencil
Hey, OT, thanks for coming by! Yes, I share vibes with many poets, as I suppose we all do. As there are only so many notes on a scale, there are only so many snarky synapses in our brains, and they are bound to collide a la atomic fusion at one time or another! (wink) I had to put in the “shoveled the shit” because it works on many levels – not just conversation, but commune living! Thanks so much… and that second one, the barlette, is my own form. Two phrases to be said aloud with one “thought” comment… just some fun I was having with a prompt. See you at OT, OT, and peace, Amy
Mary A Writes
Amy I hope the move goes smoothly. I am delighted to hear that you will have a proper workroom. Don’t stay away too long. We will miss you.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Mary. Back in the saddle agaaaaaain…!
brian miller
smiles…i am glad it is thoughts of friends that bring you back…and i look forward to your return…i hope that all goes well with the move!!!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Brian! Trying to catch up…!
vivinfrance
Some powerful writing here. The second poem is so clear that it hurts to read it. In the first poem, I just loved the lines “and suddenly, the absentee-brainer
becomes a no-sweater” I admire your wit.
Good luck with the move – a traumatic experience at the best of times, so bon courage!
Sharp Little Pencil
At first, I thought “no sweater” sounded like I was topless, so I’m glad you took it the correct way!! Gotta catch up with you now…. Amy
Louise
Both poems are great but the first one resonated with me…I so often feel like that, stutter over words until finally it writes me…A very Happy New Year to you & I hope the move went well 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s hard fishing for poetry. I find coffee and chocolate to be acceptable bait!! Move going well, blog SO FAR BEHIND… Amy
Kathy Bischoping
The first one had a great crossword-puzzle-turns-into-final-exam-sweat feel, with a taste of coffee in the final blend…reminds me of times I’ve had a favourite sweater I’d wear into the fray, until it frayed. For the second one, I read it a 2nd time without the 3rd lines and found it, actually more effective. More I-bet-I-seem-great-on-the-outside and then wham, a short sharp shock of the “post-traumatic thing” (I love “thing” there), and then onto a river dip that makes perfect sense with just that small painful I-can’t-talk-about-this piece of context?
Sharp Little Pencil
One of the most insightful comments on any of my poems, ever, Kathy. Thank you for getting it. And yes, the “thing” is when you want to put it off, not discuss it at all, which was this woman’s “final option” – the little dip becomes her final act. Peace, Amy
Kellie Elmore
best of luck with your move. I will be here 🙂
Kim Nelson
The first piece was totally relatable to my writer-self. The second, tragic and revealing, honest, raw. The form is brilliant… like my friend Amy!
Sharp Little Pencil
Kim, I’ve missed you. Must catch up after hiatus… coming your way! A
Old Raven
Your poems always offer something “real.” I love that. The second … painful, deeply pailful, done well.
Good luck with your move! May it be done with ease. Hugs to you. See you when you get back.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Raven, and I’m on my way over! Amy
Debbie
I love both of these. How cool that you made up your own poetic form! And it rocks, like you. 🙂 Take care, Amy, as you move. Thinking of you, with love and prayers!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much, Debbie. Yes, the form was in answer to a prompt to create something new, and now I use it a bit…. missed you! Amy
Roger Green
well, I’ll miss you til you’re back, but I check my blogroll, and I’ll know when you’ve returned.
Sharp Little Pencil
I’m a-comin’ now, Roger! Missed you, too… A
Andrew
Happy moving! Don’t put down that sharp pencil for too long – but I’m sure when you get back at it you will keep making that marvelous movement from absent-brainer to no-sweater! Peace…
Sharp Little Pencil
Andrew, it’s catching up on comments that’s killing me!! Sweathog, is more like it, ha ha ha. Amy
Altonian
At a loss: Going through a rough patch myself right now – The Gilbert O’Sullivan syndrome – Nothing Rhymes!
A Brave One: You do tackle some rough themes. Keep going, you are doing a great job in pushing awareness of personal, and social, problems.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thank you so much, Leigh. It’s not easy being “other-minded,” as I call my manic depression, but it does make poetry flow… although sometimes the water is a bit funky and rusty! Peace, Amy
tigerbrite
Nice one Amy. Every good wish for the move and a new happy home.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Tiger! Peace, Amy
Lindy Lee
You make me laugh and cry, all on the same page. Look forward to your return in late January 2012…
Sharp Little Pencil
Oh, Lindy, that’s a nice comment. Sorry I made you cry… Amy
Other Mary
Hi Amy! Hey, these are great! I love your word-play and your cutting to the bone. I just looked back and saw your comment on my solstice poem. I have a little SAD too, but the light box gives me a headache, so I do what I can in the daylight and marvel at the moon and stars. Happy New Year to you, and good luck with the move!
Sharp Little Pencil
Hey, whatever gets us where we need to be with Vitamin D, I’m for it! Amy
Lafemmeroar
We’ll still be here. 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
I’ll be baaaaaack! Amy
Madeleine Begun Kane
I enjoyed your verse!
Good luck with your move!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much, Madeleine. Peace, Amy
Ribbons Undone
I loved your poem ‘A Brave One’. When I was reading it, I felt like I was that woman. I know that woman.
Sharp Little Pencil
We all know that woman. Or knew her, in this case… Thanks so much for stopping by; I’ll come over to your blog now! Amy
viv blake
I’d been missing you, so came back and found the reason, along with two wonderf ul poems. I hope the move has gone well and that your muse came with you!
Sharp Little Pencil
Back and BADASS!! Ha ha ha ha Amy
Richard Cody
Good luck with the move! And thanks for the poetry!
Sharp Little Pencil
Hardest part: Catching up with old comments. But I’m slogging through! Coming your way now. Thanks, Richard, Amy
wayne
hope your move went well Amy…enjoy your new space
Sharp Little Pencil
We are LOVING it, Wayne, thanks! Amy
beespoetry
Hello again Amy! Alas, just as I return, I find my favourite poet is on hiatus. I hope everything goes smoothly.
I loved At a Loss. Friends and good times are excellent inspirations, I have found. Much sympathy for the narrator from A Brave One. It is difficult to have strangers with spotlight-eyes on you when you feel vulnerable.
There are always such delightful layers of meaning in poetry; will have to think on “Water will heal her wounds”, because that is such a simple looking but complex feeling line, particularly with what I see as a water theme going on here (pier, fish, shower, swimming in a dodgy river to feel clean) compared to the earth-bound nature of the other parts (street, phone pole, park, hospital, the idea of judging a person as garbage- clearly their compassion is buried somewhere deep and far away). And then the sandals, bridging the gap between the earth and the water, being acceptable footwear for beach or street. But maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t there?
Interestingly enough, I recently posted a poem with a similar form to your barlette- http://beespoetry.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/see-no-evil-speak-no-evil-hear-no-evil/.
Sharp Little Pencil
The second one, you really nailed a lot of what I was trying to convey. And yes, I hate the judgment of people as being worthless, but she saw it in their eyes, or at least she thought she did. That final swim was IT. Fin. The end…
I will come over and see your poem! Glad to be back, Amy
Raven
Coming back … hoping all is well …sending (((hugs))) your way. Liz