First, continued apology for not answering your comments on recent posts. Doing my best to catch up, so don’t give up on me, OK? This is a dark take on the Sunday Whirl prompt; wordle is listed below. Thanks, and peace, Amy
The Ward and Me
Shadowy business, this
Nestled in the crook of a couch
for another shrink rap
My balance, shaky at best
This ward filled with walking open sores
Memories ooze from their psychic wounds
The runoff seeps up the floorboards
leaving smudgy, evil footprints
Traces of ghosts linger, follow us inmates:
Xeroxed Marleys, hovering phantoms whispering
what happened back when
back then
Grandma Blanche was a frequent flier,
restless for answers to
bizarre questions that made Grandpa cringe
and then commit her
They’d strap her down
They’d scorched her tortured brain
A sick science fair
I know that old game, how they
sucked the fun out of her
so I play along
I’m afraid but don’t let it show
I whistle a happy tune
This will all be over soon
I think
© 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For The Sunday Whirl: Straps, Balance, Sores, Ghosts, Smudgy, Bizarre, Scorched, Shadowy, Restless, Nestled, Whistle, Know, Seeps. And, as always, to be found in the right column of my poetic kith and kin, Poets United.
Sharp Little Pencil 
Buddah Moskowitz
Ye-ouch! Been on many a psych ward -captured perfectly.
BTW – After reading “Cuckoo’s Nest” my daughter – the writer – is doing a profile on Ken Kesey for her 9th grade Christian school. Love her brash, iconoclastic spirit. Either that, or she’s just a big pain in the ass.
Love your brudda from the udda mudda, Mosk
(ps your vpr is going up tomorrow, tell yo’ friends!)
Sharp Little Pencil
Buddah, it sounds as though we share daughters from anudda mudda, too! My daughter emerged from the psych ward in high school only to be faced with a project for Psychology class on… serial killers. She was stuck with Albert Fish, the notorious sicko whose letter to the mom of one of his victims was the basis for Caleb Carr’s truly inspired novel, The Alienist.
I’ll email details of how we handled it… but the teacher was an idiot, insisting my wounded girl complete the project. It’s a howl how it came out, and it’s a case where facing one’s biggest hurdles proves that one can not simply jump, but FLY over the obstacle. Thanks, hon, and all my best to your budding troublemaker/future activist!! Ameleh
JulesPaige
The wordle list takes us all to unique places. Some tap dreams other real or imagined memories… all are valid as they are the words we have written.
Peace.
And catch up when you can, no rush, at least for me. I’m just glad whenever a friend says hello.
Sharp Little Pencil
Jules, the diversity of responses to Brenda’s Wordle always take my breath away! And thanks for the reassurance… A
brian
grisly…pretty crazy what they used to do to commited people as well…at least ou might not feel anything soon…we can only hope…smiles….
Sharp Little Pencil
I’m all about examining cruelty under a microscope… can’t help it. And what I go through is a cakewalk compared to Blanche. Can’t imagine the Frankenstein procedures, the steam baths… poor soul. Thanks, and smiles back, Amy
Sherry Blue Sky
Oh Amy, what a fantastic write this is. The “open sores”, the “psychic wounds”……the terrible torture the patients endure in the name of “treatment”. I have visited two beloved children in such places, where the walls themselves weep with sorrow. You have just taken me back there, with 20/20 vision.
Sharp Little Pencil
Since you wrote this, you responded with a poem of your own, and it was wonderful. The creativity flies over the net, crossing boundaries of country and time… love, Amy
Steve King
This is a strong write. You’ve managed to keep the poetic moments, though, even with the directness of it all…The last three stanzas build relentlessly to the last line, which then seems to echo, at least for me… I think it’s very effective.
Sharp Little Pencil
Steve, I do thank you for this. The balance is truth and art. Keeping one and the other together takes work, but it’s worth it. Also, Brenda’s Wordle provided the raw material that made it an easier task. Thanks so much, Amy
Cathy
Very good, has a great and sad feel to it.
Sharp Little Pencil
Cathy, I thank you for stopping by and commenting! Yes, it is sad to live with mental disorders, but at least the treatments for me are much less invasive than those that overtook my grandmother Blanche. Peace, Amy
Renee Espriu
Dark, yes, but a truth that so many people fear looking at. Well written, Amy.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much, Renee. Love me some darkness! It’s where I live when not peeking out at the daylight… sad but true. Peace, Amy
oncealibrarian
I wouldn’t worry too much about answering comments. I often don’t go back to see if I’ve had a reply – unless I’ve actually asked a question. I suspect ,many people are the same. But here is a question for you to answer – how much is your chapbook to send to the UK (postage will add quite a bit, I should think). And can you accept an English bank’s cheque. Obviously I have cards but I don’t suppose you have a way of receiveing those. How about paypal – do you have account?
I’m still mulling over ‘Coming back to life’; I was so impressed with it. May it,and the like, bring you fame and fortune.
Sharp Little Pencil
Golly, I don’t have a PayPal account. Maybe I should print a digital edition, which would be available over the Net. If you DO want an autographed copy, I suppose you can compute the cost plus what it would be to send a pamphlet-sized copy to the UK.
Wow, international fame!!!! I’ve arrived!!! (tongue in cheek, but still very flattered) Thanks so much. I don’t really aspire to fame, just good friends and loyal readers to this stuff. Thanks so much, Librarian! Amy
Pat Hatt
A bit bleak indeed, but not giving many the satisfaction of having ones fear shown can be a little reassuring in itself. As long as one can whistle..haha
Sharp Little Pencil
“The King And I” being the reference, of course. And yes, bleak as cold porridge, but I survived. I did NOT, however, ask, “Please, sir, I want more.” A
Daydreamertoo
It is a dark place but, it is all a part of life too.
I just emailed a friend last night and told her life isn’t all sweetness and light, everything all positiveness all the time. It also has darkness, sadness, pain and sorrow or, it isn’t the reality of real life. Because real life contains its good and bad.
Deep and emotional, heart-felt too.
Sharp Little Pencil
Dear DD2, Life is indeed filled with dark places, with light places, with “thin places” (where the earthly meets the divine)… I am glad that not as many people have to spend time in a mental ward… that their dark places aren’t THAT dark. But I encourage all who feel that nagging tug when they read this to know that The Ward is not the only way! A simple series of talks with a good therapist can help the depressed, the lonely, the isolated. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments… Amy
brenda w
This is a rough read, Amy. I appreciate your honest look at mental illness. It impacts the lives of so many people. The fifth stanza—wow!
Sharp Little Pencil
I know it was tough, but thanks for your kind words, Brenda, and thanks as always for a challenging wordle! The fifth stanza, yes, reminds me of the progress we have made. Thank God ECT isn’t the Frankenstein experience it once was, although I doubt I’ll ever have it. Too much fertile ground that might be lost. PEace, Amy
Audrey Howitt
What a wonderful piece–Grandma was a frequent flier–
Chock full of imagery that tugs at the heart strings–fabulous write!
Sharp Little Pencil
The term “frequent flyer” as regards mental wards was coined by staff… Thanks for leaving your blog address, Audrey – now off to visit you. Peace, Amy
Lindy Lee
Would you have been referring to electroshock “therapy”? Macabre, frightening facts or fiction here stated effectively/affectively…
Sharp Little Pencil
Lindy, “therapy” indeed. Grandma’s day was all about steam baths, ECT (high voltage), etc. Like being a prisoner in hell. The only thing she escaped was lobotomy… and all because she was manic depressive. I thank God every day I live in an age where there’s talk therapy without shame, as well as reasonable drugs to help control the ups and downs. Blanche was a survivor. Peace, Amy
Victoria C. Slotto
This brought to mind the 12 weeks I spent at a huge (5000 patients) psych hospital in CA during my nurses’ training. “Back then” they did electroshock therapy en masse. Dreadful.
Sharp Little Pencil
It was like a factory setting, no? Grandma lost a lot of her effervescence after repeated visits… Thanks, Victoria, and peace, A
Old Egg
How is it I feel that in psych wards they hurt you more before they let you go. This piece of yours and others I have read on my rounds hurt me a lot. Isn’t it enough that your own brain is beating you with a stick without them having a go as well? You do tend to touch nerves with your writing… and so you should. Why be calm when you can be angry! (In your writing that is.)
Sharp Little Pencil
Interesting observation, Robin. First off, who really wants to be locked up, deprived of one’s shoes, and forced to hang with a bunch of folks who all feel like shit? The answer is: Me. I had to be in a place where no one was hurt or freaked out by my mental state. Also had to wean off a bad psychiatrist’s drugs and onto new ones, which is neither comfortable nor pretty. So the Ward was the way to go. As for Blanche’s day, that was in the 30s, and they did everything short of lobotomy. Nowadays, you get cable TV, art class, group therapy… and really bad food! A
pmwanken
Haunting images easily come to mind as I read your wordle. Well done.
Here’s mine:
http://whenwordsescape.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/living-a-dream/
happy weekend ❤
Sharp Little Pencil
Paula, thanks for the link. I am pleased that the images I wrote about translated into a real-life, believable scenario, scary as it seems…
Peace, Amy
Madeleine Begun Kane
Wow! Dark and powerful!
wolfsrosebud
thought maybe you dropped off the edge of the world… glad to see you’re standing on two feet… winter’s almost over!
seingraham
Oh my – had not seen this … it was posted on my birthday so might have been out living it up (rofl) – it is too real but brilliant … took me right back there again and again. You mentioned you still have your free footies … I have a pair of mint green jammies with the name of the hospital stamped on the back; very chic … they haven’t updated nightware, bedding. or towels … the whole time I’ve been going there and that’s decades … Again, great poem. Thanks for reminding me about Mosk’s site … I will try and do that …
Sharp Little Pencil
Sharon, I’m glad you didn’t read this on your birthday – what a frickin bummer that would have been! Anyone who’s “been there” knows the feeling, and I was trying to contrast my experience with Blanche’s back in the 30s and 40s. It left her a shell. My mom should have been getting help but after seeing what her mom went through, she became an alcoholic instead, self-medicating. So complicated. Hmmm… the slippers are getting a bit worn, maybe it’s time to check in again? Ha ha ha gallows humor, what would we do without it?
darkangelwrites
Wow that is a strong piece. Just enough humor to keep us all uncomfortable. My Mom spent some time in psych ward. Not enough obviously or she’d be alive today.
Sharp Little Pencil
Dark Angel, I’m sorry if I brought up some bad memories. But this was my experience as compared with my Grandma Blanche’s… My mom should have been in the ward, too, but she self-medicated and became an alcoholic instead. I really understand her fear of insanity, after what her mom went through. I’m simply grateful we live in an age when this can be spoken about openly. Manic Depression does not define me as a human being, and it’s my calling to help get the blame and shame off people who share these disorders. Peace, and thanks, Amy
darkangelwrites
No worries I’ve processed it. Unfortunately they didn’t have the drugs back then (1960’s) that they do now. I think it’s a very loving calling you assigned yourself.
Sharp Little Pencil
So glad to hear this, Angel. And thanks for the comment on my calling. It’s not always easy, but the worthwhile things never are…