Not Me – Never Again
The Good Time Who Was Had By All
at party-throwers’ beck and call
Not me – never again
Dancing on tables, shakin’ my portion
with ear-bleeder bands of ragged distortion
Not me – never again
Sleeping benches, nodding on curbs
Under the thrall of questionable herbs
Not me – never again
Feeling as though this was all life could give:
To be a leftover while others could live.
Not me – never again.
By sin, once, almost swallowed whole;
With God’s sure help I found my soul
When sirens sing and whims cajole
I steel myself, embrace my goal:
Not me – never again
© 2011 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For ABC Wednesday, brought to you by the letter “N”; also, my poetic touchstone, Poets United.
Sharp Little Pencil 
vivinfrance
Redemption is a great theme for a poem. Bravo.
Sharp Little Pencil
Thank you, Viv. Redemption is the story of my life in one word, Amy
Buddah Moskowitz
In my most tired, frustrated and despairing moments, I reconsider my 21 years of sobriety, but then, just as quickly, I saw, nope, never again.
Beautifully done, my sistah – your brudda Moskowhoops!
Sharp Little Pencil
Stay strong, bruthah mine. We know too well the feeling of the bar’s tile outline imprinted on our foreheads after being passed out for a couple of hours. It simply isn’t worth the trouble, the stress, or the aftermath! I, too, have those “Calgon (or Jack Daniels), take me awaaaaay!” moments. Now I actually take the bubblebath! Love, Amelayinginahottubrelaxing.
Sherry Blue Sky
Terrific recovery poem. Way to shine, Amy!
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks, Sherry. More of it is true than I care to admit!! Amy
Nanka
You have an excellent poem here!! There is no aspect that you have left untouched!! I like the tone of the poem, the firmness, the guts and strength of determination!! Bravo!! It should be a must read for the wayward going youth!!
Sharp Little Pencil
Actually, I speak with a lot of youth, both in groups and one-on-one about the dangers that await them. We talk about the value of peace and silence vs. noise and stimulation/stimulants. I am frank about all the time I wasted, because most of these kids won’t come away from the experiences available today ALIVE, much less able to write poetry about it… Thanks, Nanka, and peace.
Roy Schulze
Rhymes can make a poem silly, but here I think they make it stronger, and firmly in the tradition of the old-fashioned morality tale. My ABC Wednesday this week is Neil Armstrong.
Sharp Little Pencil
Roy, thanks for stopping by and leaving this nice comment. I’m headed your way now! Amy
christine
I like this, the line “to be a leftover while others could live” very haunting words.
Sharp Little Pencil
Christine, we have similar tastes – I must admit, that was the line I was proudest of… (blush) So glad you came by! Amy
Debbie
Great job, Amy! I loved the rhythm and rhyme to this one. Like a song! Thank you!
Sharp Little Pencil
It had the feeling of sitting in a rocking chair… which is where I composed it! How ’bout that? Thanks, Debbie, and peace, Amy
Poetry & Icecream
Love the last stanza. Well written 🙂
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks so much, Norma. I took it to a four-line form for the windup because it seemed to drive the point home. Glad it worked for you! Amy
Roger Green
Often wonder just how much of these are autobiographical and which are imaginary. Somehow, you dancing on tables doesn’t seem like such a stretch, and I assumme this is the former. But it’s all art.
Sharp Little Pencil
It’s all art when I do it, baby!! (A startling amount of my material is autobiographical. Remember, I was not diagnosed manic-depressive until age 50!
Dancing on tables just isn’t my style anymore, but would you believe crooning blues while sprawled across a baby grand? Yeah, that kind of thing…
Inside the Mind of Isadora
This is very revealing and descriptive, Amer.
I hear so much in it. Deep expressings in every verse.
Thanks for expressing it.
hugs,
Izzy xoxo
Sharp Little Pencil
Thanks for being able to relate, Izzy! I knew I could count on you… Hugs back atcha, Amer
liv2write2day
Poetically, this reads like some sort of form poetry even though you have it as free verse. The rhythm and repetition may be what give me that impression.
Wish anyone who needs it could read this message.
Sharp Little Pencil
First off, I wish the same. That’s why I all about self-disclosure – it takes someone who’s been there to offer a credible warning to a person considering the trip.
Yes, this sort of had a rhythm to it… as I said before, I was sitting in a rocking chair when I wrote it. Subconsciously, I think the rocking helped! Thanks, Christine! Amy
Renee Espriu
Someone told me to never say ‘never’ but you just ‘never’ know do you! This is a wonderful insight and also a reminder of where we’ve all been at one time. Love this!
Sharp Little Pencil
So true, Renee… all except my husband and a handful of other folks I know who were “straight arrow” all the way. (He was a good little Catholic boy who once studied for the priesthood. I am responsible for corrupting him!!) And yes, there is a “never again” to be told, if one’s determination is true and one’s ego is strong enough… Thanks! Amy