After the Loss of Him
Her first impulse was primal:
to clamp her fists and pummel
God, invisible creator of Death.
A precise hit to God’s gut;
that might ease her unending,
sharpsullen sadness.
Time ticks on; faces blur
at the very edge of memory.
Only now can she kneel,
knowing there is no distance
between her and the Infinite.
Prayer is soothing and silent…
God answers in whisperings,
in the rhythm she will come to
accept as the rest of her life.
© 2013 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil
For the Sunday Whirl (see Wordle and read others HERE). This is dedicated to three women I know who lost their husbands, all too early. Peace, Amy
Sharp Little Pencil 
Roger Green
My wife’s brother died when he was 41, and his bride of 14 months was NOT happy with God, who failed to cure him.
Sharp Little Pencil
My brother-in-law died suddenly at 36. We were all pissed at God. Then I found out that our Creator has amazingly large shoulders for crying on as well… Sometimes the healing is the Final Healing, and there’s no prayer to stop that… which is really sad. I’m sorry for your family’s loss, Rog.
http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
Am excellent wordle, if rather frightening!
jae rose
sharpsullen sadness..that line encapsulates so much..beautifully written x
Sharp Little Pencil
Jae, somehow I knew you’d get that wordcluster. Thanks, hon. Amy
Sara Lee Hinnant
Darling sister, How well you paint the picture of me dancing in my kitchen, December 17, 1995; daring God to “come down here and fight me like a man,” after the news of my father’s death. I was so mad on my mom’s behalf. Quickly I remembered God gave us ‘dominion,’ what happens here is our responsibility. When reviewing the car wreck, all the elements and possibilities I knew that Pop would have chosen the outcome we had if given the chance; the 19-yr-old driver alive, our sister Al alive, the young family with toddlers in front of Pop alive, the young medical student in back of Pop alive.
Sharp Little Pencil
Man, don’t I know it. I have railed at God many times. God doesn’t seem to mind. Somehow, when I need the Holy Spirit most, she’s always there, as are the messages of love given to us by Jesus, by the Buddha, by so many loving souls. Your mom really held up under all that strain… I call death “the Final Healing.” Sometimes it’s swift, but usually it’s gnawingly slow… Love, me
margaretbednar
I often think of those who have gone before me (and are looking down, not up 😉 are often thinking we are fools – time is really so short here and we hang on to every last drop when … once we let go (when it is our time) I have a feeling we quickly change our mind. But… us going when we are ready is SO different from our sweet loved ones going when we need them so. It IS so hard to understand – the anger the grief if I lost my husband or sweet babies…… just a hard hitting, powerful poem, Amy!
Sharp Little Pencil
I’ve lost people too soon, and it reminds me every day to tell my peeps I love them. That message, if it’s the only one they take away, along with my wishes for a peaceful planet… that’s the point of living. Thanks for a lovely comment, Margaret. Amy
ihatepoetry
You captured the feelings I presume are there beautifully. I liked the line
“Only now can she kneel,
knowing there is no distance
between her and the Infinite.”
That’s how it felt when my Pop died. Loved this, Ameleh, el Mosk
Sharp Little Pencil
Yeah, this is based on the experience of a woman who lost her husband suddenly. Thanks so much, Mosk. Where the heck is your new writing? I need it! Ameleh
ihatepoetry
No new writing – feeling really depleted with more work at my job and increased troubles with daughter #3. Thanks for the encouragement.
ᖘᏫℇԷᎥᘓ
I’ve never understood why people fear death so much or why staying in alive I’m a world filed with evil, hate and misery is preferred to an eternal life in heaven! I’d be tapping watch and telling God “tick-tock tick-tock my eternity is waiting lets get a move on it already 😉
Sharp Little Pencil
Hey, I’m in no hurry, but at the same time, I’m like you. I don’t fear death. It’s not a dare, it’s simply true… I know where I’m going, and it’s a brilliant golden disco ball of knowledge and love… I’ve seen it…
ᖘᏫℇԷᎥᘓ
Oh I didn’t mean to imply that people shouldn’t want to live long happy lives, I just meant there’s no point fearing death when your time comes!
Sara v
Oh Amy, another direct hit to the heart–you captured so much in this write and the ending is so pure and true. Life is like that. 🙂
Sherry Blue Sky
I love the same lines Mosk quoted. Great write, Amy!
anmol(alias HA)
It is really hard to fathom the loss of losing someone. Well penned.
Heart touching and powerful.
-HA
Pamela
Trying to play catch here, Amelita. I love this poem for two reasons. First, when we lose someone we love we want to blame anyone (especially God) there is comfort in that, somehow. Second, living here I have observed many friends and their family in devotion and I have witnessed the solace they receive from pray. I find solitude in that, if that makes sense to you.
Paz y amor,
mi amiga,
Pamelita
laughwithme45
I could feel that initial pain and then the soothing healing in the end.
whimsygizmo
Love that “sharpsullen sadness,” especially. Beautiful, Amy.